Friday, August 31, 2007

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha

Guess what I’m doing! Go ahead. Guess.

If you said “laundry” you are correct. That Sherry Lewis classic, “this is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends,” is playing through my head. Because laundry is the chore that never ends. NEVER!

I need an Alice. You know, an older, unattractive, goofy woman to do the laundry, dust, vacuum, pick up, clean the kitchen, cook dinner and watch the kids. OH MY GOSH!! I AM an Alice!!

***

I have a list as long as my short arm to blog about. Not my short arm as in I have one long arm and one short one. Just that both my arms are short.

So anyway, I have all these things to blog about, but not enough time. Todd and I are leaving in the morning for Rhode Island and I have a ton of stuff to do to get ready. Like laundry. And I don't know if it's from the most recent surgery or if it's because I'm just plain out of shape or if it's residual from chemo TWO YEARS AGO - but I'm so tired in the afternoons I want to cry.

And speaking of crying - does anyone else do this? I'm feeling a bit low right now for a bunch of different reasons, most of which I'm sure I'll end up blogging about. Anyway, I haven't really examined these reasons in depth because I know I'll end up crying and I don't have time for that. So I'm going to wait until I get back from our little vacation and the kids are in school and Todd's at work and I'll think about why I'm feeling a little on the sad side and I'll cry and be cleansed and feel great! It's like I have to schedule time for my breakdown.

The reason for our little get away is a very happy one, though. Some friends of ours are getting married Monday and they asked us to come be their witnesses. So that's going to be cool. And it will be nice to get away from everything for a few days. Heck, I'm just looking forward to having Todd all to myself in a car for six hours or so. He'll have to talk to me then! Okay. That's not really a problem. We just travel really well together and I find it very enjoyable. Comfortable silence for a while, good conversation for a while. The only complaint is that he may make me listen to John Denver because, you know, he's essential.

I won't be posting until next Wednesday (sorry Mom and Aunt Thea) and then I hope to have beautiful pictures of the New England coast for you. After that I'll get my whine on.

And here's a little teaser. Just some of the topics I'll be blogging about:

Todd's blog

Hot flashes/Night Sweats

Unveiling

Blisters

40+ models on Rachel Ray

Sunburn stripe on leg

Labels: blog, friends, vacation, whiney

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Where's The Sand??

I'd like to bury my head now, please.

I read this yesterday: Early ovarian surgery linked to dementia.

Further research is still needed, but this is kind of scary. The study suggests the sudden drop in estrogen for premenopausal women who have their ovaries removed can lead to dementia and that taking hormone supplements (estrogen) until the age of 50 can help.

Let's break this down.

* Sudden loss of estrogen at age 39 due to chemotherapy.

* Resurgence of estrogen.

* Sudden loss of estrogen at age 41 due to total hysterectomy.

* Estrogen/hormone replacements of the devil.

* Already thought to be nuts by an overwhelming majority.

At least this little gem was in the article: The study did not include women who had ovaries removed as part of cancer treatment, and Rocca said the results do not apply to such women. Huh? Okay. I'll take it, though it doesn't make any sense to me.

Ya know, if it's not one thing, it's another.

Labels: breast cancer, medical

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TERRI!!

My sister's birthday is today. Correct me if I'm wrong, Terri, but by your math are you 37? I never fully grasped your aging method, but I know I like it.

Anyway, she and her husband live in Fort Worth as does her oldest son (Ben) and his family. Her two younger sons (Jarred and Joseph) live in San Diego. Ben showed up for lunch today with Jarred and Joseph in tow. Their dad, David, is a truck driver and was getting ready to make his run when they called him to let him know the two boys were in town. So he cancelled his run. The boys are there until Sunday.

How's that for the best birthday present ever??

Labels: birthdays, family

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---------------oOo--------------- The Post That's Not A Post

There are oodles of things going through my head to blog about, but the majority of them are whiney. And I don't feel like doing whiney today. I'll save that for another day. Though if I did whine today I could start something new - Whiney Wednesdays. What do you think??

I've been watching HGTV for the last two hours while I fold laundry (my own - not the kids') and I have gobs of ideas for the house. Scads of gobs. I want to go furniture shopping, fabric shopping, paint shopping, antique/flea market shopping, craft store shopping and hardware store shopping. I want to paint, stain, build, arrange and create. Todd has a couple of business trips coming up...

Labels: blog, home improvement, random

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Monday, August 27, 2007

Can You Hear the Hallelulia Chorus??

No?? It's very loud where I'm sitting and the glare from the host of angels singing is nearly blinding.

The kids went back to school today.

Taylor was up and finished in the shower before either Todd or I woke up. I went to wake Katie at 6:30 expecting much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but instead she rose and called me blessed. Well, she didn't exactly call me blessed, but she didn't call me anything bad and I figure that's nearly the same thing.

If I hadn't lost my chance at Mother of the Year the first week of January I'd have lost it for sure this morning. According to the kids there was nothing for breakfast. We had the wrong cereal, it's not cold enough for instant oatmeal, nobody wants toast or frozen waffles. If I was a good mom I would have baked a chocolate cake last night so they'd have something decent to eat this morning.

I checked and double checked and triple checked the bus schedules yesterday. Taylor's bus was listed as being here at 7:14. He was getting ready to leave, Todd asked if he had his house key, he didn't have it, ran upstairs to get it and I saw the bus. It was 7:07. So Todd had to drive him to school.

Katie called her friend to see what time she was walking up to the bus stop - we learned from Taylor's mistake in not asking his friends. A few minutes later Shelby and her mom showed up to walk with Katie to the corner. I was still in my jammies and waved to every single mom and half the fathers in the neighborhood as they walked their kids up to the bus stop for the very first day of school. With cameras.

***

I have to fess up. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world. Or in the country, state, city, neighborhood or even this particular house. I'm not horrendous and things are usually fairly clean, but I'm not so good about clutter. I maintain, however, it's more a lack of appropriate storage apparatuses than an actual reflection of my laziness. Anyone want to argue with me?? Huh??

I avoid my daughter's room as much as possible because, well, it's a dangerous place and I'm a coward. I'm obviously going to have to "man-up". Last night I told her to set out her outfit for today and when I went in to tell her goodnight she had a really cute shirt out with these horrible jeans that she cut off into Bermudas a while ago because of all the holes and stains. After informing her there was no way she was leaving this house in that atrocity she told me she didn't have any clean clothes.

She just did a load of laundry on Saturday so that didn't make a lot of sense. Turns out she only washed two outfits - one to go to the movie in Saturday evening and one for yesterday. Oh. And she had no socks. She thought she might have lost them at camp. So I washed an outfit for her last night along with some of my clothes and decided I'd be a nice mom and do her laundry for her today.

Oh. My. Gosh. I found duffel bags and grocery bags and beach bags with dirty clothes in them. I found a huge load of towels - beach towels, bath towels, freakin' kitchen towels - tucked into a basket in her room. I found scads of socks, cute clothes we haven't seen in ages, and underwear coming out the wazoo. It's probably going to take me the entire day to wash all her clothes. Which means I'm going to have to wash Taylor's clothes as well because I'm just fair that way.

So now you know how I will be spending my kids' first day of school. But at least I get to do it ALONE!

Labels: domestic failure, food, kids, school

Mused by Jenster :: 9:34 AM :: 27 People musing:

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Woo Hoo!!

Labels: family, medical

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Blogiversary, Update and Announcement

BLOGIVERSARY

A year ago today I published my first post. I can't believe I've been doing this for 365 days. Tara Marie and Amanda inspired me to start it and my purpose was mainly to keep family and friends who are scattered across the country updated on our happenings here in Pennsylvania. It's turned into so much more, though.

So happy blogiversary to me!! Where's my cake??

UPDATE

My new additions have yet to make their debut. Friday I'll be able to take the tape and dressings off and get some idea of what I may eventually look like. And Susan, they are supposedly permanently semi-erect. I guess I'll always be sort of cold but not really cold for the rest of my life.

I believe I've taken yet another step in permanently scarring my children. Monday night we were gathering around the table for dinner and everyone was talking about their day when I said, "Mom got new nipples today. Taylor, would you please pray?"

ANNOUNCEMENT

Last, and maybe least, but probably not to most of you, though others of you will be indifferent, is this big news.

It is with great hesitation and not just a little trepidation I announce that Todd has started his own blog today. Jenni & Me, based on the book Marley and Me - you know, about a dog. Hmm...

So if you have a chance, go over and say hello, but don't believe everything you read. M'kay??

Labels: anniversaries, blog, family, reconstruction

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Still Under Construction

I’ve been trying to think of a delicate way to say this, but I’m not having much luck. So I’m just going to say it. I drove into Philadelphia this afternoon for nipples. Yep. You read that right. I saw my plastic surgeon and he somehow fashioned nipples for me. It was a very strange experience.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but Dr. Serletti is one of the best breast reconstruction surgeons in the country, one of several handfuls who do the particular surgery I had in December. He’s the head of his department at the University of Pennsylvania – a teaching hospital, which means very rarely do I ever get to see just him and a nurse.

When I had my surgery there would be flocks of student plastic surgeons coming in my room to essentially feel me up and make sure I had good blood flow to my breasts. Modesty is not something a person can afford in a teaching hospital. Besides, when I reminded myself it was actually my displaced tummy they were poking and prodding it wasn’t so humiliating.

Today, however, was just the doctor, the nurse and a fellow surgeon. Apparently my doctor was showing the other doctor how HE does nipples and I’m a great candidate because I have two different examples for him to work with. The left breast had been removed by a radical modified mastectomy a year and a half before reconstruction, while the right breast was a skin sparing mastectomy done at the time of reconstruction. This probably doesn’t mean a whole lot to most of you, but trust me. There’s a fairly significant difference.

I’ve decided the ability to draw with a felt tip pen is a prerequisite to being a plastic surgeon. It seems like every time I go in there he’s leaving little drawings on me. Today I had to stand there with my ridiculous gown around my waist while he drew X’s on my chest, stood back to eyeball his artwork, and then drew tiny spokes out of the X’s, all the while Dr. McSomething-or-other looked on approvingly.

After that it was up on the table where he shot my feeling-less boobs with lidocaine “just in case”. That was a breeze because I couldn’t feel the needles. Just the way I like it. Then he draped a pad over my chest that had a three inch-hole for him to work through.

So I’m laying there, trying to figure out where I should look because I’ve got three people standing over me and if I’m not looking at one of them then I’m staring into the bright light, when the doctor makes his first incision. That was freaky because, while I may not have any feeling in that area, I could feel the pressure and the “pop” when he made it through the skin. Even now I’m shuddering just thinking about it.

I’m not complaining, though. The way they usually do nipple reconstruction any more is to pull up some of the fat and fashion it with the tissue and skin. In six weeks or so I’ll go back and get everything tattooed. But the way they USED to do it was a skin graft from either the inside of the upper thigh or… or… oh, I can’t say it. It’s much too painful to even voice out loud. Just think of the MOST delicate area of the female anatomy and you get the picture. If they still did it that way I would be using Todd’s idea of gum drops because there’s no way. NO WAY!

Dr. Serletti is as professional as they come. He’s very nice, but he’s all business. In a bizarre chain of conversations, however, he started talking about Caddy Shack as the funniest movie of all time. In fact he hikes up to a cabin in the Adirondacks with a friend of his and they take a VHS of that movie every time. It was shocking to learn he has a sense of humor.

I don’t think I can impress upon you enough how strange it is to be laying on a table with three people hovering over you: one of them sewing a nipple; one of them snipping the sutures and blotting the blood; and one of them watching the happenings with clinical interest; all the while talking about movies and books and generally chatting about things you would otherwise discuss over coffee.

After everything was plumped up and sewn into place, the doctors left and the nurse dressed me so I still have no idea what they look like. It will be another four days before I get to see the handy work. I have no doubt things will look a bit weird, but probably no weirder than they’ve looked for the last two years.

I go back in three weeks and at that time we’ll discuss the tattooing and also more revisions to the left breast. Because it was a delayed reconstruction Dr. Serletti had to use an approximately 3” by 6” scrap of belly skin to make the breast mound and the incisions are a bit jagged. So instead of a round breast I have sort of a trapezoid. At least I’m unique! But he’ll smooth those edges out to make things look a bit more normal.

Foolishly I always thought – if I ever really thought about it – that reconstruction was a surgery and then you were done. Boy was I wrong! Which makes me all the more glad that we put off Hawaii until next year. I should be completely finished with all this by then.

This morning I started back into my “healthy” mode, drinking a lot of water, walking two+ miles on the treadmill, counting my points, etc. But, as I’ve said before, any type of medical procedure induces a craving for something of the java variety – hot, cold, whatever. The best I could do was a cold bottle of Starbuck’s Mocha Frappuccino for the ride home. I should have known I’d need at least two, but I only bought one.

Probably better that I only bought one since they’re more points than I should have had. **sigh** Thankfully, tomorrow is another day…

Labels: reconstruction, weight management

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Apple Core!! Baltimore!! Who's Your Friend??

After Todd's dentist appointment Friday morning we left for Baltimore. Before we'd gotten too far I complained that the spring mechanism in the little storage bin on the dashboard was stuck. Todd said, "you mean this?", as he opened and closed the compartment repeatedly.



Y'all do know why they don't send donkeys to school, don't you? Because nobody likes a smart ass.


We got to the hotel around 11:00 and were gratefully able to check in early. When I had told Todd the hotel was near Camden Yards I didn't realize this would be our view:



And here's a little peak of 1st base:



The Orioles were in Toronto so no game for us. But we've decided to go back in the spring when they're in town and stay at the same place. This hotel is all about baseball:

This picture of Babe Ruth was in our room. He may have played for the Yankees, but he was from Baltimore and is quite the hero there.





This cool glove chair was in the lobby.





And it was adjacent to what I refer to as "Pub Row", so named for obvious reasons.




After a short rest we set off for the Inner Harbor and had to get even more photos of Camden Yards:







It's one of the prettiest ball parks I've ever seen.





And finally, proof that baseball is a sport for the righteous:



The Inner Harbor was less than a mile away, but it took us a while to get there because I had to keep taking pictures. Todd grabbed his jimmies and shuddered when he saw the paddle boats, momentarily caught in a bad memory.

We had a little over an hour before we could get in the aquarium so we ate lunch at ESPNZone.
<--I took a picture of this because the date is a combination of Todd's birthday and my birthday. The sentiment was lost on him, however. He looked at the photo and said, "Sweet! Sandy Koufax's 7th perfect game!"




I had to take a picture of the TV in the bathroom. Guys seem to love watching sports while they're doing their business. I personally found it a little disconcerting to have people bowling over my head.-->




<--Right above our table were "Stadium Dogs" - Acrylic Hot Dogs with dirt from various sports stadiums. The Phillies' Veterans Stadium just happened to be right above us. It seemed Providence had placed us in the perfect spot.





After lunch we walked across the bridge to the National Aquarium. This place is incredible and I highly suggest a visit if you're ever in the Baltimore area.

Here are just some of the pictures I took:





As you look up to the top of the atrium when first walking into the aquarium.






A Cowfish. (I need more cow bell!)






Pretty little tropical fish like we saw scuba diving in Cozumel several years ago.







Blurry puffins. Or a blurry picture of puffins. Not sure which.







Turtle, Turtle








Porcupine Fish







Candy gram. Land shark.








Stingray




Australian Fruit Bats. These bats don't eat bugs or drink blood. They only eat fruit. Regardless, I prefer viewing them from a distance.








Long Necked Turtle from Australia. This thing is just weird.






It's Flipper!!





















After we'd seen everything there was to see at the aquarium we decided to just hang out until we were hungry enough for dinner. Looky what was just across the bridge.


This had to be one of the coolest Barnes and Nobles I've ever seen. It's part of the Power Plant, a trendy area of the Inner Harbor that also houses a Hard Rock Cafe, ESPNZone and several other restaurants.





Katie and I hung out in the book store for a bit while Todd and Taylor went back to the ESPNZone to play games. Katie's smart that way. She knew I would have to buy myself a book or two and if I made a purchase for myself I would be inclined to make a purchase for her as well. She was right.

It's always the same with me in a book store. First it's the sense of belonging, of coming home, of deep peace as I take my initial steps into the store. Next it's the feeling of being a kid in a candy store - all that literary yumminess surrounding me. Then it's having to make decisions because I simply can't buy everything I want to. And finally it's a desperation to get out as fast as I possibly can because I can feel myself losing control.

So when we got to the losing control portion we quickly checked out and went in search of the boys. After finding them Todd and I sat and rested our weary feet while the kids ran around playing more games.

It was amazing how they weren't hungry until their game tokens were gone. On the other side of the harbor, in the direction of the hotel, was a restaurant called Big Kahuna Cantina.

Taylor ordered his new favorite - BBQ Wings - off the appetizer menu. When I took this picture I thought the entire bucket was full of wings, but it wasn't. The bottom half had chips. Even still he wasn't able to finish them.




Katie had talked about ribs all day. These little beauties are glazed with Plum BBQ sauce and were quite delicious.





This would be my dinner. General Juan’s Chipotle and Honey Glazed Cashew Chicken with cilantro and mango sticky rice. It was scrumptious and spicy in a sinus-cleansing sort of way.





Todd had the coconut shrimp po'boy.




After stuffing ourselves silly we slowly schlepped back to the hotel on our sore feet, got comfy and watched TV until we all fell asleep. Without traffic it's less than a two hour drive from the house, but I'm so glad we decided to stay the night there. We were so exhausted after our busy day and it was nice to just kick back.

Saturday morning we woke up when we woke up and Todd and I made it downstairs for breakfast while the kids lazed in bed and watched more TV. I know we only scratched the surface of Baltimore wonders and I can't wait to go back and explore more!

Labels: family, food, fun, humor, touristy, vacation

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Saturday, August 18, 2007

Still Driving By

We're back from Baltimore. What a fun place that is!! We're going to have to go back when we have more time. I'll post pictures later.

Thank you for the prayers. Dad's tests went well. What we know at this moment is that he has a bleeding ulcer and a large colon polyp. The doctor tried to get the whole polyp but was unsuccesful. What we don't know yet is if he will require further surgery and if the polyp is benign or malignant. We should find out more this next week.

I'm so tired my head is numb. Seriously. My face is numb and my brain is numb. (No jokes, please.) So I'm going to go take a nap and sleep some feeling back into my noggin.

Labels: family, medical, touristy

Mused by Jenster :: 2:51 PM :: 13 People musing:

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Drive By Post

We're getting ready to leave for Maryland where we'll see sharks and eat crab. Or maybe see crabs and eat shark. Or maybe both.

If you guys could spare a prayer or two, my dad is having some diagnostic testing this morning. His symptoms could be caused by something that's no big deal to something that's a huge deal to anything in between. Thanks.

And I'll see ya on the flip side! (Did I get this from Happy Days?)

Labels: family, food, medical, touristy

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Frisk the 15th

Maybe it's because I don't actually have any breast tissue to frisk anymore, but I had forgotten Frisk the 15th until I started seeing the banner around. So here ya go, ladies - and just a couple of gentlemen. Frisk away!!

Labels: breast cancer

Mused by Jenster :: 6:08 PM :: 9 People musing:

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---------------oOo--------------- Summer Fun

My fan (Mailyn) wants more from me so she’s going to get it in the form of a lengthy post. If you have a short attention span you may want to just give up here, though there are pictures for you, too.

I took the kids and a friend each to CamelBeach in the Poconos yesterday. The weather was perfect. High 70’s, low 80’s with low humidity. The ride up was pleasant, though they didn’t particularly care to listen to my play list all the way there. I don’t know why not. It totally rocks. At least it rocks if you’re 40-ish.

On Monday I went in search of a new bathing suit – as if Mondays aren’t bad enough. Out of the six or seven swimsuits in my drawer only one actually fit me and that was my mastectomy suit. The neckline is so high and I don’t need the worthless “special” pockets anymore. I knew it was kind of silly to buy a new swimsuit when school starts in two weeks, but I couldn’t help myself. And I hit the jackpot! Sears has LandsEnd bathing suits and they were on clearance. I found a top that went well with the bottoms I already have and made off with it for $10.00! And look at it!! It’s better than a Miracle Suit. If you go here you can see how it makes me look tall and thin and young and, dare I say it, “hot”? Okay. You’re right. This isn’t me. And while I don’t look anything like her, I didn’t end up crying in the dressing room – a very shocking and pleasant experience for me.

We got to CamelBeach and instead of renting a locker I told the kids I would just keep their stuff with me. I may be feeling great since the surgery, but I’m not up to walking all over heck and gone and riding waterslides. They threw their stuff on beach chairs and promised to come check on me every couple of hours so I could take potty breaks.

This is my beach chair. This is the first beach chair I’ve sat in since probably August – maybe early September – of 2004. I thought it was worthy of a photo. I started off in the shade and knew I would eventually end up in the sun. Being a former hedonist, the glaring white of my legs is rather depressing. So my thought was I’d begin my day in the shade and work my way slowly into a little tanning. I didn’t start off with sunscreen because, well, I was in the shade.

I was also reading. And as so often happens with me, I kept thinking, “I’ll put the sunscreen on after this chapter.” But by the end of the chapter I had to see what was going to happen next. So then I thought, “I’ll put the sunscreen on after this chapter.” I’m sure you intelligent people that are still with me can see where this is going. I burned my leg. Actually, I only burned a strip of my leg. Just one. I do have a little strip of pink on my other leg, too, but not as bright as the red on my other. I look ridiculous. Pasty is much preferred to striped.

As much as I adore sitting and reading I had to get up and walk around a bit. So I took pictures. In the winter CamelBeach is CamelBack Mountain – a premier ski area in this vicinity. I’m curious to know what happens with the wave pool and kiddy pools and water slides in the winter. But in the summer it is totally incongruous to have ski lifts, snow makers and pine trees right next to beach chairs, fake palm trees and surf huts.







On our way out the kids stopped for some airbrushed tattoos.



Aren’t they cool?? Especially because they didn’t hurt and they’ll eventually go away.



I sat at a table with whoever wasn’t being tattooed and waited. Across the eating area was a shack with the name “Kahuna Cheese Steaks.” Something I don’t think you’d ever see in Philly. I asked Taylor, “Is it just me, or does that make you think of Kahlua Mudslides?” It was just me.

We finally made it home last night and all were exhausted. I can see why the kids were so tired. They ran all over the place. I, on the other hand, sat most of the day. Still, I soaked in a glorious bubble bath, drank a bottle of water and read the rest of my book. It was all going along so nicely until I decided to turn on the jets.

First of all the jets frothed up the bubbles to an alarming height. And since I was reading this was not good. Secondly, the last few times I took a bath I had to use the Aveeno Oatmeal soak. Apparently the stuff got into the jets because when I turned them on there was oatmeal crap EVERYWHERE! So that ended my delicious soak in the tub.

I crawled into bed and slept the sleep of the dead – though what does that really mean? How does anyone truly know how the dead sleep? But I digress. I got up this morning and had to wake both the kids as Katie had to baby sit and Taylor had a 9:00 meeting at church for Youth Leadership.

That less than delightful chore done, I got my clothes out of the closet and set about getting dressed, the whole time thinking about the last Starbuck’s Vanilla Frappuccino in the fridge. I’m pretty sure I was smiling dreamily while pulling my capris on, even though the blasted sunburned stripe was paining me. Then I picked up the hooded t-shirt and yanked it on over my head, succeeding in bruising the bridge of my nose with the hanger I forgot to remove!

Though my leg and my nose hurt, I staved off the woe-is-me drama with the thought of cold liquid happiness waiting for me downstairs. You know what’s next, don’t you? You can see it coming, can’t you?

I was totally blindsided.

TAYLOR DRANK MY FRAPPUCCINO!!!

I should have had a Kahlua Mudslide. That’s coffee, after all.

As you know, this summer has been pretty lame for me. Hawaii – cancelled. Arkansas – cancelled. No day trips to the shore, no bike riding, no much of anything fun. Katie and I did have a blast in NYC, but I put that in a different category.

So yesterday was my first “official” summer outing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Our summers used to consist of spending the majority of our time at the local pool. I loved it as much as the kids. If none of my friends were there I would just read while the kids swam. More often than not, however, my very best friends were there as well. I ask you what’s better than being lazy on a summer day in the company of good friends.

Those days came to a screeching halt for me when I was diagnosed. That summer (2005) I was in the middle of chemo and couldn’t be outside in the sun for any length of time. And most of the time my white count was so low that it was dangerous for me to be in public places.

Last summer I did manage two trips to the shore with the kids and driving trips to “learn the lay of the land”. It was our first summer in Pennsylvania and so most of our summer fun was just the three of us.

And you all know about this summer. Rashes, blisters, bumps, female troubles and finally a hysterectomy brought 2007 in a close second as the worst summer ever. As much as it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm not. To everything there is a season and this was just another summer of healing for me.

***

Side note - "Praise you in This Storm" by Casting Crowns is playing on the iPod right now. Appropriate, I think.

***

Todd is taking Friday off and we’re driving down to Baltimore to take in the National Aquarium and the Inner Harbor and I’m quite excited about that. Our one day/one night family summer vacation. And I know that next summer is going to be among the best ever. As long as I remember the sunscreen BEFORE I start reading.

Labels: breast cancer, friends, fun, God, kids, reading

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Monday, August 13, 2007

Bald is Beautiful

As excited as I was to have my hair grow back after cancer treatments, I miss the smooth look every once in a while. Like when I'm laying in my bed in the middle of the night and am woken by a night sweat. Or when I'm just sitting here, minding my own business, and all of a sudden it feels like someone turned the heater on full blast. Gotta love those hot flashes.

I went through all that two years ago with chemo. Horrible, drenching night sweats and massive power surges. They felt just like the picture of solar flares looks. Then they finally went away. Well, they're back again. Thankfully not as intense as they had been, but still annoying.

I don't know if it's because I'm having night sweats again, but I've had some strange dreams. Like last night I dreamt I was not only the Jedi Mom - kind of like dorm mom, but this was for Jedi Knights in training - but I was the Jedi Jedi Mom - meaning I was Jedi Mom to the elite Jedis. Whatever that means. But in my dream it made perfect sense. And Yoda was like the dean of the school.

I had another dream - totally different, and yet similar in its strangeness -the night before and I swore I couldn't forget it. But I forgot it.

OH! I had another dream last night that there were vampires outside so if we left the house at night we had to put on our "vampire bling". A long, dangly chain with a diamond encrusted cross that was about the size of a small cat, another chain with a vial of holy water, still another chain with a wooden stake attached. I don't remember a garlic necklace, but that would have made sense.

Wonder what I'll dream tonight. And I wonder if the crazy dreams will stop when it starts to cool off outside. Or if I shave my head again. I kind of hope not because they're vastly entertaining.

Labels: dreams, whiney

Mused by Jenster :: 8:13 AM :: 20 People musing:

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Saturday, August 11, 2007

It's All About Love

My Katie gets home from camp today! I can't wait to see her and hear all about her week. I want to know everything. What friends she made, what crafts she did, what she ate, what important life lessons she learned (like the throwing up thing or the M&Ms thing) and mostly what the camp did for her spiritually.

Camp was where I started finding my God as opposed to my parents' God. And that's what I want for Katie. Yeah, she's only 12 and her faith is still strongly based on how she's been raised. But she's getting to the age where she's going to have to figure stuff out on her own and I think camp is a great avenue for that. So we'll see.

She has a "boyfriend" (I use the term loosely because, like I said, she's only 12) at church who is in her grade at school. The kid is an absolute doll. He's going to be quite the charmer as he gets older. I can't be friends with his mother, though, because she's young and cute and looks great in a two piece bathing suit. Drat it all if she isn't nice, too.

I ran into them yesterday at Target. It was so funny because I was putting my stuff on the belt and saw somebody looking at the candy in my aisle out of the corner of my eye. When I looked up it was Matt. I said, "Hey, Matt," and when he saw me he broke out into a huge smile. He was polite and said "Hi" back, but he was looking for Katie. I could tell when he realized I was alone. The smile dimmed just a little. His mom and I finished up about the same time and we stood at the front of the store chatting for a little while. She said Matt's been checking his text messages all week to see if maybe Katie came home from camp early. Ahh... Young love.

On the other end of the spectrum is Taylor and his love life. He dated a girl for about three or four months and broke up with her about a month ago. I came to love this girl in that length of time and I was heartbroken when they broke up. Not because I thought they should always be together and end up getting married or because I miss her so much - even though I do miss her. But because I knew she had her heart broken.

I think she's gotten over it better than I have. Even now I can cry just thinking of it. I'm not sure if it's because I remember what it's like to have my heart broken or because I'm a mom and the thought of my children hurting is almost more than I can bear. Probably a little bit of both. I spent one day in a total funk, crying at the drop of the hat. I cried for this child and the pain she was in and I cried for her mother. But still, I couldn't begrudge Taylor for breaking up with her. It wasn't a decision easily made and he did it with much anguish because he didn't want to hurt her.

Taylor now has another girlfriend. Which makes him sound like a player, but he's really not. I won't go into the whole story - partly for his sake, but mostly for yours - but his new girlfriend has been someone very special to him since last summer. I love this little girl, too. Ever bit as much as the other one. And her mother and I are becoming great friends - she's also a breast cancer survivor of 10 years. GO CONNIE!

And I never thought I would say this about my 15-year-old son, but I honestly won't be surprised if this is the one. Yes, I totally believe in young love - you should hear my family stories. Like my middle sister was 14 when she started "dating" (group dates and family outings only - lol) her now husband. My oldest sister started dating her husband when she was 16. Both have been married over 30 years. I was old and 18 when I started dating Todd. So I know firsthand that sometimes young romances do stand the test of time.

It would be fine with me if he never broke up with another girl again. I don't think I can take it. Of course, I'm not sure what her mother would have to say about me already having them married in my mind. :o)

My last "love" subject is the party we're going to this afternoon. Some good friends of ours are getting married in Rhode Island in a few weeks - just the two of them and Todd and I - but today is the reception or wedding party. Cristie - the bride - is the lovely woman who introduced me to my newest addiction - the Fluffernutter. So she thought it would be apropos if I were to make fluffernutters for the party. I am honored. But I guess that means I need to get up, pour another cuppa joe and get to work.

So that's all the love I've got at the moment. And if by, say, Tuesday I'm back here complaining about how Katie is driving me crazy, please refer me back to this post. 'kay??

Labels: breast cancer, family, food, friends, fun, God, kids, love

Mused by Jenster :: 9:12 AM :: 15 People musing:

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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Just Call Me Goldilocks

I don't get migraines very often, but when I do they're awful. I'm lucky they don't last for days, but they are very intense when I get them. They're bad enough that I can't think straight, I can't talk and I sometimes even become a little irrational.

The last time I had a migraine was November 22, 2005. It was the night of my very last chemo treatment. My parents and in-laws came over to the house for a celebration. I had ordered cupcakes with white frosting and pink ribbons and we were going to have Chinese for dinner. This particular headache came on so fast and furious that I had very little warning. I can usually feel it coming and take something to help a little, but not this time.

It was a little ironic that I didn't throw up once during the entire time I went through chemo until the very last day. I know the treatment that day didn't cause the migraine, but I do think it intensified it.

And this post doesn’t have anything to do with my last migraine, but you know I get started and have a hard time stopping.

So anyway, I got another migraine this afternoon. I was driving Taylor to band practice when I felt the beginnings of a headache. When I got home I decided to relax in the chair for a little bit to see if it would go away on its own. Basically I was too lazy to go upstairs for Tylenol.

It didn’t go away and quickly turned into a raging migraine. So I went upstairs and took some Excedrin Migraine, then went down into the basement where it’s fairly dark. I tried to get comfy in one of the recliners, but it was too big. I then tried to get comfy in the other recliner, but it was too something.

Next I went back up to the room to lie in the bed. But it was too bright and the headache seemed to be worse when I lay down. So I came back down to the family room and sat in the big green chair. It was still too bright and I couldn’t find a position that relieved the pressure in my neck.

In a last bit of desperation I tried my chair in the living room. With the shades drawn it’s fairly dim and the wings on the side were the perfect rest for my head. I was able to relax and the next thing I new 30 minutes had passed and my headache was gone. No insane ramblings, no crazy thoughts and no throwing up.

Note to self: Next time you get a migraine take the Excedrin Migraine and head straight for the living room.

Labels: random, sick

Mused by Jenster :: 10:31 PM :: 10 People musing:

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---------------oOo--------------- STELLA AWARDS

I had planned to post something else today, but I got this email from Jennifer who got it off a message board who got it -- well, I don't know who posted it there. But it was just too priceless to pass up. It's one of those things that make you laugh and infuriates you all at the same time.

****

Hot dog! It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"!

For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in where she purchased the coffee.

That's right. These are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts that happened during 2006. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. Here are the "Stellas" for the past year:

To kick things off the right way, there was a three-way tie for 5th place.

Kathleen Robertson was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict considering the running toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

Also in 5th place is Carl Truman, 19, who won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Go ahead. Grab your head scratcher.

The last of the 5th place winners was Terrence Dickson, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to subsist for eight -- count 'em, 8! -- days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching.

There are more.

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the "Stellas" when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun. Grrrrr. Scratch, scratch.

3rd place went to Amber Carson because a jury ordered a restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on soft drink and broke her tailbone (coccyx). The reason the soft drink was on the floor? Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions? Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Hang in there, there are only two more Stellas to go.

2nd place goes to Kara Walton after she sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000 and... oh, yeah dental expenses. Go figure.

Finally (may I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please) this year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home - from an OU football game, no less - having driven on to the free way, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.

Don't look so incredulous. Remember, we're talking about Oklahoma here. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The jury awarded her -- you are sitting down, right? -- $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit. Just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might buy a motor home.

ADDENDUM

In the comments you'll see that Jennifer let me know these lawsuits - or at least the results - are fake. WHEW!! Though I have to say, I worked in insurance defense several years ago and you may be amazed at the ridiculous lawsuits. We represented Safeway grocery stores in Southern California and some of the suits people brought against Safeway were absolutely hysterical. Hm... I just thought of another post...

Labels: awards, humor

Mused by Jenster :: 10:44 AM :: 6 People musing:

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A Message From God

As most of you know, I'm trying to write my memoirs. I don't really think of what I'm writing as memoirs, but that would be the technical term. When I think of memoirs I think of someone who has done something incredible or who had a bevy of torrid affairs - neither of which I can claim.

So if when this book gets published I will naturally use my real name. Because it would be silly to use a pen name for a book about me, doncha think?

What you may NOT know is that before I had something to actually write about I played around at writing fiction. I love making up a story - and I have a fertile enough imagination that I can do it. I'm not sure about the actual writing of the story, though I do have a few people who are very encouraging. And they're not all family, either!

Because my name is so common - can I get a witness, all you Jennifer's out there - I want to use a pen name if I ever publish my fiction. If you read this post you know about my fondness for the name Roxanne. I'm thinking of going by Roxy because there aren't a ton of those out there. (No, Terri. This does NOT mean you get part of the royalties)

Since Roxanne is my oldest sister's middle name I thought it would be nice to use my other sister's middle name as well, but Roxy Suzanne sounds more like a stripper than an author and since I won't be writing erotica I think I'm going to have to pass on that one.

Now wanting to be a published author is quite a lofty goal. I mean how many of you handful of people who actually read this blog have the same desire? And it's easy to get discouraged and be full of self-doubt.

I absolutely believe God still talks to us. He speaks to us through the Bible, in sermons, through people - a myriad of different ways. Where I hear him the most, however, is in music.

This morning as I walked on the treadmill I was listening to my very eclectic collection of songs on my iPod in shuffle mode. My mind was filled with doubts about my writing when I realized Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns was playing. Here is the chorus:

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I giggled a little bit and sang along and do you know what the very next song was?

Roxanne by the Police! (Told you it was eclectic)

So this is what I believe God was telling me. "Keep at it, ignore the doubts and use the name Roxy."

Labels: exercise, God, writing

Mused by Jenster :: 12:21 PM :: 17 People musing:

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I Miss Katie

Katie went to church camp on Sunday and while I'm glad she gets to have this experience, I miss her. *sigh* It's only been two days and I still have five to go.

I'm thrilled she had the opportunity to go - we were actually supposed to be in Arkansas this week. There were four other girls from church going, none of whom she knows very well. She is a little bit on the shy side until she gets to know you. The minister and his wife drove their van so the five girls rode together. The other four girls were very nice and told Katie they had a spot for her and she quietly climbed in.

I rode with another family and followed the van. We got to the campground about an hour and a half later and the girls spilled out, giggling, laughing, running to claim the best cabin, and Katie was in the thick of it. I think she's going to have a great time. Just hope she spares a thought or two for me.

I went to church camp every summer from the time I was 8 until probably 14 or so. Every year was a different experience, but a great one each time.

One year I learned you can make yourself throw up by sticking your finger down your throat. That was my very first camping experience and I was probably the youngest kid there. Some of the older girls thought the very rustic camp was disgusting. So they got the bright idea that if they could throw up they'd get to go home. Silly, silly girls. Apparently I made an impression on the camp dean because he told my parents I was the smallest one there, but the most active. His very polite way of saying I was hyperactive. I can guarantee you I'll NEVER hear those words again.

Another year at church camp I learned all about M&Ms. I can only remember two. Green ones make you horny (and I believe that was when I learned what "horny" meant and still probably didn't really get it) and orange ones make your boobs grow. I've mentioned this in another post, but after attaining that knowledge I ate an inordinately large amount of orange M&Ms. I can tell you for an absolute certain it was a lie. Now if the rule was orange M&Ms make your butt grow then there would maybe be some truth to it.

I was on Catalina Island - another very rustic camp - at the end of July in 1981. The counsellors talked the dean into bringing a TV into the mess hall, the only building with any electricity, so the girls could watch the Royal Wedding. And if I'm not mistaken, it was in the middle of the night.

There's a lot I've forgotten in the last 25 to 30 years, but I do know I looked forward to camp every year and loved it. It's my prayer she enjoys it every bit as much as I did. I can't wait to see her on Saturday and hear all about it!

Labels: fun, God, kids, love, nostalgia

Mused by Jenster :: 10:41 AM :: 17 People musing:

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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Getting the Word Out

Whymommy at Toddler Planet has a message to share. She's a young wife and mother who was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer when her infant stopped nursing on one side. There was no lump and it appeared to be mastitis. Instead it was the very sneakiest form of breast cancer. But I'll let her tell you about it:

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.

Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.

Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.

Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

A couple other misconceptions that need to be addressed are these:

Labels: breast cancer, medical

Mused by Jenster :: 3:08 PM :: 15 People musing:

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