Jenster's Musings

Redirecting...

2010-08-30T18:17:00.002-04:00

This blog home is no longer in use. You will be redirected to the new home of Jenster's Musings in just a few seconds or you can type in jenstersmusings.com.

New Post

2010-08-20T12:59:00.004-04:00

I have a new post up at my new blog. (Still working on the whole redirecting thing).

jenstersmusings.com

Switching...

2010-08-12T10:48:00.006-04:00

I'm still working on redirecting traffic to my new blog, but I don't have it figured out quite yet. So in the meantime, you can click on this button and it will take you to the new blog. Or you can just type jenstersmusings.com in your browser. Whatever makes you happy. See you there!

The Big Move

2010-08-11T12:32:00.005-04:00

No, I'm not talking about moving Taylor down to college. I'm talking about my blog.

Sometime in the next week Jenster's Musings will move from blogspot to Wordpress.

Don't worry. You won't have to learn a new address or anything. You'll just be redirected once you get here.

That's the plan anyway.

My Happy Place is a River Called Denial

2010-08-09T18:41:00.011-04:00

Two weeks from today will be a Monday much like every other Monday. Except Taylor will be six hours away at school. I'm very proud of him and super excited for him, but if I think about it too long I'm sad for me. It's going to be very strange around here.

Back in the spring he had narrowed his choices down to two. A local college and one in Southern Virginia. Katie tried to bribe him into choosing the local college with the promise that she'd bake him the pie of his choice every day. While tempting, it wasn't enough to sway his decision.

So now my baby boy, who hasn't actually been a baby for a long time, is spreading his wings and leaving the nest. This may be how it's supposed to be, but I don't have to like it. He's my boy. He thinks and acts like me - not always a good thing - and he's nearly always good for a laugh.

And poor Todd. He's distraught about losing the hormonal balance in the house, not to mention his scary-movie-watching, guitar-playing, sport-talking buddy.

Then there's Katie. At times she feels like she's losing her best friend. Other times she feels like she's getting rid of her arch nemesis. Sometimes at the same time

The closer the time comes to drive him down to college the more real everything is becoming. My jokes about turning his room into a craft room/office/library/whatever have lost their humor and I find myself thinking about all the things I wish I would have done different. As my sister once told me about her kids, only by the grace of God has Taylor grown into the young man he has because it sure wasn't anything I did.

Sunday night will be bittersweet as it will be his last night to play in the youth worship band. Then it will be five days full of packing, gathering the last minute stuff, hanging out with his friends and just being the four of us for the last time until Thanksgiving.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving.

(*the photo of Taylor & Katie was taken by Gail Anne Photography)

An Island Called Long*

2010-08-02T22:08:00.034-04:00

*Thank you to Dan R. for the title

This past weekend Todd and I took off for a much needed get away on Long Island. It was the first time we've ever left the kids home alone and I feel it was a success because: a) they didn't kill or even maim each other; b) police and/or other emergency personnel services were never required; c) there were no arrests; d) the dog was still here and didn't appear to have suffered any; and e) the house looked much the same as it did when we left.

Our adventure started on Thursday, and I don't use the term "adventure" loosely. I've been to New York City several times since moving here four years ago and every time I'm there I declare I will NEVER drive in Manhattan. Well, guess what I did Thursday. I drove in Manhattan. From the Holland Tunnel, through Tribeca and China Town, and over the Williamsburg Bridge. I've driven in Los Angeles. I've driven in Dallas. I've driven in Philadelphia. Picnics, all, compared to the Big Apple. I would like to declare I will never drive in Manhattan EVER AGAIN. I just hope I really mean it this time.

Do you know what made driving in NYC worth it? After Todd and I got settled in the hotel we went down the street to TGIFriday's for an early dinner and I got carded! Oh yes I did! Todd even took a picture of the waiter looking at my ID, but it came out all fuzzy. So what if they have to card anyone who looks like they may possibly be younger than 75? There's just something about hearing those words, "May I please see some ID?" that thrills.

I kept telling people we were going to the Hamptons because it just sounds so chic. In reality we were just going to Long Island, but we did drive through the Hamptons on Friday. There is a two lane road that runs through the Hamptons to the tip of the South Fork where the Montauk lighthouse is. It took us a good two hours to go the 43 miles. I can say in all honesty that it was a beautiful drive and the weather couldn't have been any better. We stopped in the town of Montauk for a bite of lunch - the best fish and chips I've ever had, hands down.

And a good thing, too. For two orders of fish and chips, an iced tea and a beer we paid $55.00. While I'm sure the fish basically jumped from the ocean and into the fryer, I'm not sure that's a reasonable amount. Not only that, but I didn't even get carded!

After ~~the gigging we took~~ lunch we finished the drive to Montauk Point and the oldest lighthouse in the state of New York. I, of course, had Precious with me so there are pictures:

There were no sightings, and, therefore, no pictures, of a Montauk Monster. (Sorry Becky) But here's a photo I found on the internet to appease the curiousity of those who don't know what the Montauk Monster is.

From there we drove to Sag Harbor:

And then a pretty drive back to the hotel where we feasted on cheese and crackers (because we had spent our daily allowance on fish and chips) and watched free HBO.

Saturday was another gorgeous day and this time we drove up the North Fork to Orient Point and then slowly worked our way back. In a welcomed change from Friday, the traffic was minimal. Our goal had been to find lighthouses and maybe go through a winery. We saw one lighthouse in the distance and never decided on a winery to tour. But we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.

I know. I'll just show you some pictures.

We stopped in at this lavender farm and bought...

...lavender! Ahhhh, heaven!

Here we were in wine country and did we get any wine? No. I'm sure our wine clubbies (Or is that clubbists? Clubbers?) will be very disappointed with us.

The same Dan R. who inadvertently gave me the title of this post texted me and told me about Greenport. Happy I am that he did!

This, my friends, is a camera. Not nearly as convenient as Precious, that's for sure.

The Frisky Oyster. What does a frisky oyster look like, I wonder.

We were going to eat in Greenport, but the wait was horrendous. Apparently everybody wanted to hang out in the quaint village on a perfect Saturday afternoon. So we got back in the car and just decided we'd stop wherever we stopped.

Linen tablecloths, a beautiful view, a delicious seafood meal, a decadent dessert - all for less than fish and chips in the Hamptons.

As we made our way back to the hotel we found a place to sit and be mesmerized by the beautiful ocean -

- and we also found LOVE, which is kind of the point of a weekend getaway, isn't it?

Beautiful Leilani

2010-07-19T21:22:00.008-04:00

I was thinking I should maybe try to write a post since it's been a while, but I'm drawing a blank. Which is ridiculous because I haven't hardly posted at all this summer and a lot of stuff has happened. So I'll just think of random things to tell you about.

Hm... Let's see... Oh! I know! We got a new refrigerator last week. Not only did the old one make sad, scary noises, but it dispensed green, spinachy looking flecks in the ice. So on July 5th, while all the appliance stores were having Independence Day sales, we bought Leilani. Leilani is exotic and beautiful. Just look at her.

She was delivered a week and a half ago and we have yet to fill it up. I really should go grocery shopping, but, well, I won't bore you with my excuses. Right now, anyway.

The biggest problem with Leilani is that I now want new counter tops. Really bad. And if I get new counter tops I'll need a new sink and faucet and I definitely need new cabinet hardware. And if I'm doing all that I may as well get new light fixtures because I'm not thrilled (or anything resembling thrilledness) with what we have. But just this morning I mailed a check for a portion of Taylor's freshman tuition. I kissed the envelope before I placed it in the mailbox and said, "bye-bye new counter tops." Which - bear with me while I do the math -

Taylor's five year program puts him finished in 2015, Katie will start college in 2013 and let's be generous and say she finishes in four years, that makes it 2017 which is in seven years -

Right. So that means I probably won't be seeing new counter tops in this house for another seven years. Unless I was maybe frying bacon in the cast iron skillet. And I was standing on a ladder so the grease splatter wouldn't reach my face. And I picked up the skillet, but it was hot and greasy and, Oooops! It slipped right out of my hands and fell with a horrible crash onto the formica and, OH NO! It cracked the counter top! Hm... Well it's something to think about anyway.

And there you have it. An actual post. That's two for the month of July. Maybe I'll even do a third.

IAATB, Part III

2010-07-07T19:45:00.011-04:00

I don't know about you, but I am more than ready to get this over with. I just want to move on with my life. So without further ado, I give you...

The day after Mother's Day/Race for the Cure day I had my first routine breast MRI. My first MRI of any body part for that matter. Not only was it a Monday - my least favorite day of the week - but I also started out with a very slight, nauseous headache. Even the thought of a White Chocolate Mocha (with whip, of course) did nothing for me. You KNOW I wasn't feeling myself!

As I said, I'd never had an MRI before, but I'd heard plenty about them. The tight quarters and the loud clanking sounds. Didn't sound like something someone with the beginnings of a migraine would enjoy, but I'm made of pretty stern stuff. I mean, come on. I've been through way worse.

So I changed into the pretty little gown (insert heavy sarcasm here), took off my jewelry and followed the nurse down to the interrogation room or whatever they call it. She asked me all kinds of questions about my mastectomy and reconstruction and then I had to flash her my chest so she could draw pictures of all my scars on a piece of paper. That might sound weird to some, but after you've had a plastic surgeon draw on your girls with a felt tip marker, it's not that strange.

After that it was time for the MRI. The table had one of those cushioned face rests like they have on a massage table. In fact the technician told me it was just like a massage, only much more noisy and I wouldn't feel relaxed when it was all over. (I appreciate honesty in my medical staff.) A few inches down from the face rest were two holes. I am not lying. There were two holes for, you know.

**Digression**

This reminds me of when I was pregnant with Taylor. I had always been a tummy sleeper, but when you're hugely pregnant you can't exactly sleep on your belly. Some friends of ours had a "pregnant air mattress", an air mattress with a hole for the impregnated belly. They loaned it to us and Todd took a video of me, 8 months pregnant, demonstrating how to use it. The laying down and getting comfortable parts were fine. The getting up part? Not so much. I couldn't get off the mattress and then I'd start to laugh and my very impregnated rear end (it looked like it was pregnant with twins) would start to jiggle which would make Todd laugh, which would make me laugh and the cycle never seemed to end.

**Digression Over**

I had to reach up above my head and hold onto some handles and then the technician manipulated my udders (because really, that's what I kept thinking of) into their designated slots. After that I closed my eyes and tried to go to my happy place while they slid me into the big tube and the clanking and humming began. Can I just tell you it's hard to go to one's happy place when: a) one's head feels as though it's being jackhammered; and b) it actually sounds like a jackhammer right next to one's head. I tried going to some tropical paradise, but the next thing I knew the natives were chanting loudly and trying to shrink my head. Then I tried going to a peaceful meadow with a gently rippling brook, but a huge grizzly bear showed up. He had a deafening roar and very sharp claws.

They had told me the test would last about 25 minutes. With my head in a hole I had no way of knowing how much time was passing, but after a while I figured it had to have been more than 25 minutes. Finally the test was over and the technician came to help me off the ~~torture device~~ table. She apologized and told me that they had to take more views than she originally thought so I was on the table close to 45 minutes instead. The longest 45 minutes of my entire life.

The migraine became more intense as the test went on and the drive home was miserable. But I drugged up on Excedrin Migraine, took a nap in my chair and felt much better when I woke up.

Bottom line - clear baseline. I'll go through all that stuff every week if it means I get to hear the words No Evidence of Disease. I would prefer to go through it all with a venti White Chocolate Mocha, though. With whip, of course.

IAATB - Part II (And An Apology)

2010-07-06T20:18:00.006-04:00

First the apology. I'm sorry. I know there are several of you whose lives revolve around this blog and I've gone over a month - a whole, long month - without blogging at all, the longest I've ever gone. And after I promised to endeavor to attempt to try to do better. I will make no more promises. Ever.

I'm just joshing you about people whose lives revolve around this blog. I only know of, like, two. Not really. Just one. Okay. That's an exaggeration as well. I just thought it would make me sound more important. Guess I'll just get on with it.

June was quite a month around here, but before I can elaborate I need to finish the It's All About The Boobs trilogy. Of course, it's been so long since the events happened that this will be the Readers' Digest Condensed version because I've forgotten most of what I was going to tell you. So here we go:

PART TWO

On Sunday, May 9, Mother's Day, I got up super early and met my friend and photography mentor, Gail, in the church parking lot and we drove into Philly for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. Just the hanging out with Gail was awesome. We never seem to run out of things to talk about. I love that about her.

I was smart and brought my pink gloves with me, just in case it was cold. It was freezing. I was dumb and left the gloves in the car. I was also in need of coffee, but the line to the Wawa tent with the free coffee seemed like it went all the way back to the church parking lot we had just come from. The line for the free iced tea was non-existent, however, so I got my caffeine fix that way. On a frigid morning, but you know. We do what we need to do.

We mosied toward the Art Museum steps where they have the Survivor's Parade and for some reason, I didn't want to do the parade. I just wanted to stand there with Gail and watch it. It was the right thing for me to do because walking down those steps with all the other women in the pink survivor t-shirts is very surreal. But watching all those pink shirts move down the steps is very moving. Next year I'm sure I'll take that walk, but I'm glad I got to watch it as a survivor.

The rest of the morning went pretty much how you'd expect it. We walked and walked and walked and then went to brunch in the city before coming home, where I took a nice, long nap. I know there were other things I wanted to mention, but I can't remember. I'm sure they were vastly entertaining and worthy of some kind of an award, but this is what I get for waiting so long to report.

I had actually planned to write Part III in this post, but I just don't have it in me. You know that road? The one to hell? Well I'm paving that sucker faster than I can say "Bob's Yer Uncle," and I can say that pretty fast. So at some point - I don't know when - I will get to Part III. Really. But I'm not going to promise.

It's All About The Boobs - Part I

2010-05-29T20:31:00.011-04:00

I know, I know. It’s been two weeks since I tantalized you with the promise of three boob stories. Sorry to leave you hanging. [*snort* That made me think of the old song I used to sing to my mom, “Do your boobs hang low..." But I digress.] Without further ado, here is part one of the boob trilogy.

For most of April and the first week of May I was lied to left and right. Todd lied to me, my friends lied to me, my kids lied to me... and I didn’t know. It’s a little scary how easily these people, people who supposedly care about me, could tell me falsehood after falsehood with a perfectly straight face. Let me give you a small sampling of the bevy of deceptions perpetrated against me.

Early April:

Katie
Katie: I need a tropical recipe for school for extra credit.
Me: How about Hawaiian Chicken? It’s easy and yummy.
Katie: Okay.

Late April:

Laura
Laura: Do you think Katie would want to babysit for us on the 7th?
Me: Probably. We have a surprise birthday party to go to, but I’m sure she would sit for you.
Laura: Great.
Me: So what are you going to do?
Laura: Bill and I are going on a date.
Me: Good for you!

Friday, May 7:

Taylor
Taylor: I’m going to Nick’s.
Me: Are you going to come to Mark’s party?
Taylor: Yeah. We’ll probably swing by at some point.

Todd
Todd: Katie just called and said there’s a leak under the sink at Bill and Laura’s.
Me: Oh, no.
Todd: She said it’s not bad. We’ll just stop on our way to Mark’s party and you can come in and see Laura’s new tile.
Me: Alright. I’ve been wanting to see it…

It went down like this: I walked up to the front door with Todd so I could "see Laura’s new tile while he checked under the sink." When the door opened up there were all these people on the stairs and in the hall yelling “Surprise!” Turns out Todd had spearheaded a surprise party for me with some of our neighbors to celebrate five years of being cancer free. Mark’s wife, Amy, was in on it, too. She happened to be throwing a surprise 40th birthday party for him on the same night and even told him he was going to my surprise party.

They got me good! I had absolutely no inkling of their diabolical plan – the bunch of consummate fibbers. They had a luau for me, hence the Hawaiian Chicken recipe Katie wrangled out of me. Todd played the guitar while Katie sang "Grace" by Saving Jane - one of my favorite songs she sings. After that Taylor played his guitar some while we all sat around, eating and laughing and just having a good time. But the fun didn’t stop there. Oh, no it didn’t. There was also a cake. A boob cake.

(I blocked out the nipples ala Girls Gone Wild commercials so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of my virtuous readers. Or reader. Whatever.)

And that', mi amigos, is Part I. I promise to endeavor to attempt to try to get Part II up in a more timely manner.

IAATB - A Trilogy

2010-05-13T20:41:00.004-04:00

Get ready 'cause it's coming. I'm starting a trilogy of posts called It's All About The Boobs. Why? Because I can. That and I figure it's better than one long post about the three separate "boob" events of the past week.

So stay tuned...

Five Years Ago Today...

2010-05-03T19:27:00.011-04:00

Five years ago today I had the life-saving surgery to remove the cancerous tumor from my body. Not only was the malignancy removed, my entire left breast was removed.

Five years ago today I had a huge incision across the concave side of my chest and a drainage tube at each end. Of course, five years ago today I didn't actually see the incision. That happened five years ago tomorrow.

Five years ago today we didn't know exactly what we were dealing with - if the cancer had spread and what kind of treatment I'd have to go through.

Five years ago today I had a lot of questions. Or at least I think I had a lot of questions. Five years ago today I was on pretty good meds so I might not have had any questions other than when I'd get the next happy pill.

Five years ago today I knew my life had been forever altered, but I had no idea to what extent. Five years ago today I figured I'd go through treatment - whatever that might mean - and eventually everything would be back to normal.

Five years ago today I was a little delusional.

Five years ago today somebody stole my pink ribbon car magnet off the back of my van while I was having a mastectomy.

Five years ago today the surgical waiting room was full of people I love with all my heart. Those people prayed for me, they told stories about me and they ate my peanut M&Ms.

Five years ago today I assured those people I love that everything would be okay as I left them at the surgical waiting room on my way back to pre-op. (I might not have been quite so magnanimous had I known they were going to eat my peanut M&Ms.)

Five years ago today I sang "I Want To Be Sedated" as they wheeled me into the operating room. At least that's the story Todd tells. With my history it's very likely.

Five years ago today my sister, Terri, and my Mother-In-Law went shopping and bought me all sorts of beautiful things to make my recovery as pleasant as possible.

More than five years ago today I believed Todd loved me and God would see us through this whole ordeal.

Five years ago today was the start of that belief turning into knowledge.

Today is a huge day for me. Five years in the life of a cancer survivor is a big thing. It's that magic day when the risk of recurrence or metastasis is reduced. I like the sound of that.

But...

Today is the day after Lynn Redgrave died from breast cancer.

Today I have breast cancer sisters with recurrences and metastases.

Today I'm thrilled to have made it to five years with my four favorite words, "No Evidence of Disease", but I can't help but think of those who haven't been so fortunate.

So...

Today I will celebrate my milestone.

Today I will enjoy the beautiful roses Todd bought me.

Today I will relish every kind comment either in person or on my Facebook status.

Today I will thank God for my good health.

And...

Sunday I will walk in the Philadelphia Race for the Cure for every woman I know who has dealt/is dealing with this disease.

Today Todd gave me a dozen red roses and five pink roses:

Today Todd gave me five more pink roses for my bedside table:

Today it's good to be me.

Crossposted at Mothers With Cancer

Not A Kid Anymore

2010-04-30T15:36:00.008-04:00

Somewhere around 9:00 AM Central this morning, Taylor turned 18. Technically, according to the law, he's now an adult. He can vote, he can join the military, he can go to an X-rated movie, he can buy cigars... all because he's 18.

Well Law, I hate to break it to you, but he's still my little boy. Always will be. Makes no never mind that he's taller and stronger than I am.

So Happy Birthday, my handsome little man. I love you.

*Addendum - Taylor did, in fact, buy a cigar this evening and was not happy the clerk didn't card him. He went out back to smoke it and I followed with my camera. We sat in the Adirondack chairs and he gave me a hit of the stogie. Yup. Me and my boy sharing a cigar. Strange...

Hidey Ho, There!

2010-04-26T15:28:00.006-04:00

Let me reintroduce myself since it's been so long. My name is Jenster and I write this blog about nothing. Nice to be reconnected. So much for the old, "I'm going to write a post at least once a week", blabber. I knew I should have said once a month.

I have so much to write about. So much nothing, but so much nonetheless. I mean a lot of life-altering things, but I'm not going to go there today. Nope. I'm going to do what I do best. Whine! So grab the cheese and crackers and join me, won't you?

Let me give you a quick Jenster history since it's been so long. Five years ago I went through six months of chemotherapy for breast cancer. I had a minimum of side effects from the treatment, but my last three treatments were each delayed a week due to extremely low white blood counts. Those extremely low white blood counts gave me thrush every single time. I'd get a wicked case of the nasties, take oral medication along with a disgusting "swish and swallow" which would give me some relief, only to take another treatment and get another flare up. I never really got rid of the swelling before it would hit again. No big deal as far as side effects go, but icky.

Fast forward four-and-a-half years. I still get thrush. Or at least thrush-like symptoms. Swelling of the insides of my cheeks and lips and a swollen tongue with a lovely coating that reminds me of an old (and I mean old) Shelley Berman comedy routine about a hangover where his "tongue is hairy and his teeth itch".

Friday evening I noticed some funny looking bumps on the insides of my lips and cheeks. *sigh* I knew what was next. Sure enough, yesterday morning I woke up with the hairy tongue, but thankfully my teeth didn't itch. I told the family I wasn't going to church and proceeded to climb back into bed where I fell back into unconscious bliss and stayed there until 12:30 or so. The whole day, or what was left of it, was a big blob of absolutely nothing. Jammies all day long. Nice.

The homemade remedy for this current yuckiness? Swishing one part Maalox and one part Benadryl. Doesn't that sound appetizing? I have to be careful not to swallow it because the Benadryl puts me to sleep, though I'm definitely drinking that stuff down tonight so I can get a good night's sleep. Besides, it's now traveling down my throat. Lovely, isn't it??

On another, but similar note, I found out at my last oncology check-up that some of my bones have lost 13% density in the last two years. That does not make me happy. Not one little bit. So now I'm eating Viactin like it's candy (because that's what they want you to think) and I really, really need to start doing some strength training. Does sitting on the love seat and lifting my computer off of the floor and onto my lap count?

As "inconvenient" as these things are, though, I am richly blessed. In one week I will be celebrating my five year cancerversary - a milestone I've been looking forward to acknowledging. Some of my Mothers With Cancer have not been quite so blessed. There have been two new cases of mets in the last month or so and I just hurt for them. But these women are total rock stars! Not happy about it, of course, but their attitudes are stellar. Truly amazing.

When I think of these brave warriors I know I don't have anything to whine about. And yet... I do. 'Cause that's how I roll.

Busy Easter Weekend

2010-04-04T20:13:00.022-04:00

I haven't been able to post much because I've been having too much fun, but I thought I'd take a few minutes now and catch you up.

FRIDAY

Mom and Dad and I drove to Weehawken, New Jersey, and took the ferry over to the Mid-Town pier in New York City. It was sunny and warm and the perfect day for a ride on the Hudson. So after we landed in Manhattan we walked to the building next door and took a 90-minute harbor cruise. The cruise was great. The tour guide was not. He spent more time telling us how he knew how to grab people's attention in the first two seconds than he did telling us the interesting stuff we were seeing.

The interesting stuff we were seeing:

The Brooklyn Bridge -
It took 13 years to build and was completed in 1883

Governor's Island -
Walt Disney was an AWOL prisoner on Governor's Island with a view of the Hudson and this is where he came up with the idea for Steamboat Willie

Helicopters -
A twenty minute tour of Manhattan is $200.00 per person

The Statue of Liberty -
An amazing thing to see in real life and something pictures don't quite capture

Ellis Island -
I sure would like to know which of my ancestors came through here

The Manhattan Skyline-
The Bronx is up and the Battery's down

And that concluded our tour. After that it was back to the cross-river ferry and then a pretty drive home. I had thought to go to our Good Friday service that night, but I was too pooped! Who knew sitting on a ferry could be so exhausting?

SATURDAY

I had to pick up a few groceries and thought that Mom should have the Wegman's experience.

For those of you who are not in the know, Wegman's is the Disneyland of grocery stores. I think Mom might have been more impressed by the market than the Statue of Liberty.

SUNDAY

This morning was a lovely, relaxing Easter morning. Todd and Taylor were working in the Valley Kids tech booth for all four services and Katie was helping with one of the kids' classes at the 11:00 service (we thought) so Mom and Dad and I went to the 12:30 service. After that we came home for a few minutes and then went to Washington House in Sellersville for Easter dinner.

<-Today (side view)

Late 19th-> Century (front view)

It's a 30-minute ride through bucolic rolling hills and the warm weather the past few days has caused the flowers and trees to blossom. If I hadn't been so hungry on the way there and so full and tired on the way home I would have wished it was more like an hour and 30 minutes away.

Yesterday Katie made a chocolate pudding pie and this morning I made a French apple pie. Our thought was that we would be too stuffed to eat dessert at the restaurant so we'd have dessert when we got home. Except I forgot that the Prefix dinner included dessert. The kids and I are off tomorrow so guess what we're having for breakfast. Apple pie!!! Guess what we're having for second breakfast. Chocolate pudding pie!!

Tomorrow is also my Weight Watchers weigh in day. I'm totally not feeling it.

OMG I'M PREGNANT!!!

2010-04-01T09:07:00.003-04:00

Oh, how I love April Fools' Day. At least when others are the recipient. The old "I'm pregnant" was always my favorite fool. Considering I have no baby-making parts left in my body this joke has probably run it's course. Still, it makes for an eye-grabbing title, don't you think?

We finally have some beautiful spring weather. After the winter we had, this warm, sunny weather is most welcome. I can't wait to get out in it today, even if it's just walking Sookie around the block. The big block, of course.

We're enjoying the visit with my folks. The kids are typical teenagers so they're not always around. In fact I think we've only had one dinner with both kids in the last week. That was the night Todd and I were going to take my parents to Fellini's - the Italian restaurant where the waiters and waitresses sing opera. The kids had band practice so they weren't able to go with us. But the weather turned out kind of bad and we decided just to stay home and have Italian here. That way the kids could eat with us. The only problem with this plan, though, was that I wouldn't get the cannoli I'd been thinking about for days. Band practice got cancelled so Katie and I drove down to the Collegeville Diner and picked up all manner of gooey confections, including my cannoli. So far it's been my favorite night of the whole week. Is that because I got cannoli or because both kids were here? You decide.

And that's all I've got. I'm off to enjoy our weather!

Happy...

2010-03-31T22:29:00.005-04:00

...April Fools' Eve

Just A Quick Chat

2010-03-27T21:53:00.004-04:00

Hola, Amigos! I don't have time to hang out for very long, but I just had to post a quick update.

My folks flew in from Little Rock on Wednesday (don't even ask if their arms are tired because that joke is so old and corny it does not bear acknowledging) and we've been enjoying our visit. They actually just sold their house - it sold in four days - and will be about the business of packing up and moving when they get back home so I hope they can relax and enjoy their trip! Except my mom doesn't know how to relax so very much, which works out very well for me because she cleans instead. I'm okay with that.

Yesterday was our Easter Eggstravaganza at church. What a trip! We had 40,000 eggs and several egg hunts for different ages, a petting zoo with the cutest baby cow (I know, I know - that's a calf) and the biggest bunny I've ever seen, two bounce houses, free popcorn and cotton candy, carnival type games, balloon stylists (I have no idea what they're really called), face painters --- it was great! I helped out at the MOPS table making pinwheels. It was fun because I saw a lot of preschool families and some of the kids would look at me like they weren't quite sure why I would be somewhere other than the preschool. There were a ton of people and they all looked like they had a good time. I know I did!

OH! The most exciting thing around here is that we finally replaced our microwave that went out in November. Todd and Taylor installed it yesterday and we've been using the heck out of it. It doesn't make funny noises and it actually heats up the food! I keep looking at it lovingly - almost like I look at my camera - and sometimes I even caress it a little when I walk by. I now remember what life was like before a microwave and I'm telling you, it was lame!

In other news, I started Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time a few weeks ago. So far so good. I think I've lost around 7 pounds which is a drop in the bucket, but I've gotta start somewhere. This times feels different because I actually want to stick with it and it's almost easy. (Hope I didn't just jinx it!) This week will be a bit challenging with the rentals here and Easter and all, but if I can just maintain I'll be happy. Of course, I'll be happier if I still manage to lose.

And that, my friends, is what's going on around here. Until next time...

Monday...

2010-03-22T21:11:00.005-04:00

Just about anybody who's ever been acquainted with me knows I am NOT a morning person. Most everyone also knows I must have coffee in the morning. MUST. Todd had to be at the train station about 20 minutes away by 5:45 this morning. I'm still drooling into my pillow at 5:45 in the morning! Last night I set the coffee maker to start brewing at 5:00 this morning and when I came downstairs a little after it hadn't yet begun. I wanted to cry. But I didn't have time so I hit the brew button and thankfully was still able to take a cup with me.

We got to the train station between 5:50 and 5:55 and guess what was right next to it? A Starbuck's! My heart gave a little leap of joy, kind of like when you're crushing on somebody and you unexpectedly see them at school or at the mall and your heart jumps - know what I mean? So yeah, I saw the crazy mermaid lady on the Starbuck's sign and got all excited. Except it was so stinkin' early they weren't even opened yet! It was a cruel twist of fate.

***SIGH***

After a shower and more coffee I packed my lunch for work. I pulled a bag of baby carrots out of the fridge and thought the bag had already been opened, but it was still sealed and very full. So I opened it, filled my baggy with sweet, crunchy, orange delights, and zipped up the bag to put back in it's drawer. I picked up the bag and cute little baby carrots when sprawling all over the kitchen floor. It HAD been opened, but not by the convenient, resealable end. Someone (could have been me, not sure) ripped a big hole in the bottom.

***SIGH***

I walked around the corner and into the hall with all the preschool classes this morning, only to see two of the assistants standing with a little girl and a trash can. Poor little thing had thrown up all over the floor. One can't really escape the "expression of bodily fluids" when one works in a preschool - even in an office capacity. So Rochelle (one of the assistants) and I cleaned up the "event" after Marcia (the other assistant) got the little girl taken care of. Neither Rochelle nor I are real good with vomit and I was really wishing I had Todd's old double canister gas mask he had been issued when he worked at the Pine Bluff Arsenal. He used to wear it to clean up after our kids and I would always make him say, "Luke. I am your father", like James Earl Jones because the mask made him sound like Darth Vader. But I digress. All this was to say that one hour into work this morning I was cleaning up barf.

***SIGH***

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home today to pick up some grape juice and cheese spray for my sick Katie and a bunch of yogurt for me. I went through the self check-out line and filled a bag full of a few things and all my yogurt. It was raining when I left and I didn't want to take the cart with me, so I grabbed my three bags and took off for my car. The one bag was so heavy that the plastic handles started stretching and right before I could get to my car the handles ripped and little yogurts went rolling around the parking lot! Not really. Well all of it until the ripped part. It was very close, though.

***SIGH***

I got home and parked in the garage right before the sky opened up. It was very pleasant - rain, lightening, thunder - nice. I got some work done (I come home early on Mondays to do some writing for work) and then my early morning caught up with me. About 4:30 I laid down on the couch, Sookie curled up at my feet, while Katie snuggled in the big green chair and watched America's Top Model. Next thing I know, it's after 5:00. Lovely...

***SIGH***

A Rogue Hot Air Balloon

2010-03-20T09:23:00.005-04:00

I was blissfully snoozing this morning, so happy in my somnolence, when a strange noise outside woke me up. It sounded kind of like a strong gust of wind, except that wasn't it. It also sounded kind of like when the heater comes on, except it was much too loud.

"Maybe one of the neighbors is doing something with some strange machine in the greenbelt," I thought as I got out of bed to look. When I opened the blinds, however, there was a hot air balloon headed for my driveway! I couldn't see the basket because it was on the side of the house, but the balloon looked almost close enough to touch and it was level with me as I looked out the second story window!

I was afraid it was going to land on the truck (but it turned out the truck was in the street instead) and I ran down the stairs yelling, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" I opened the blinds that overlook the driveway and the balloon was gone. So I grabbed my camera and opened the front door to see this:

Poor Todd is in Boston so he missed all the excitement. I just wish I slept with my camera so I could have gotten a shot of the first thing I saw when looked out the window.

Alright. That's the exciting happenings around here. Two posts in two days. Or maybe I should say two posts within 24 hours. That sounds even better!

Off to clean house now. Mom and Dad are coming for a visit on Wednesday and I don't want my mom to have too much to do around here!

I'm So Lame

2010-03-19T14:32:00.009-04:00

You may or may not recall the goal I had set for myself back in January. Not a resolution for the new year. Homie don't play that. But I did make a goal to write on this blog and my Trippin' Through The Bible blog at least once a week. I did really well for about a week. Or maybe a month. So I'm scrapping that goal because it was a failure of epic proportions. Moving on...

My last post was about the February MOPS meeting and this post will be about the March MOPS meeting. This past Wednesday I spoke about breast cancer. I had worked on gathering the facts and figures and statistics and risks and plans and prepared a very detailed, very educational talk. It was good, too. Very informative and oh so very boring. It just didn't feel right. I'm not an educator. I'm a gabber. So Tuesday night I tossed my hard work out the window and just let it go.

I had nothing prepared for Wednesday night. No notes, no cue cards - nothing. I just told my story. The problem with that is there's a lot of story. I could easily have talked for hours and I feel almost like I did. I do know that by the time I sat down I'd been up there for somewhere around an hour, give or take. Part of that time, though, was a question and answer period at the end. These ladies asked great questions and I was more than happy to answer them. At least then I knew I was talking about what they wanted to hear.

But the talk was easy. It felt right, not forced like the more informative talk would have been. And they were such a gracious audience and made me feel like they might have actually been interested! Really!

My friend, Gail, who is a rockin' photographer extraordinaire, made boob cupcakes. Quite cute, too, with little nipples. Except for mine. Mine had a heart tattoo instead.

Aren't those great? I debated whether or not I should post the picture here because, you know, this blog has always been pretty PG. Or maybe PG-13. Definitely not R. Maybe M for mature audiences like on a video game? I dunno. Anyway, I decided to go ahead and post the picture because: a) I think the cupcakes are awesome and very appropriate to the subject matter; and b) I think her simple picture of cupcakes is artistic. OH! You should see the Cat In The Hat cupcakes she made and the pictures she took of those! Really good. I could go on and on about Gail, but then this post would be about her and not me and we all know how narcissistic and egotistical I am so I'll just leave it at that. Except to say she's really awesome. Really super and incredibly awesome.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Not Your Average MOPS

2010-02-22T22:35:00.001-05:00

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but two awesomely awesome chicks from my church started a MOPS group a few months ago and I am a mentor mom. I tell the young mothers how NOT to raise their kids. JK! But kind of not. (For those text-illiterate among you, “JK” means just kidding.) We had our February meeting last Wednesday night and in honor of Valentine’s Day the subject was spicing up your marriage. Now I never belonged to MOPS when my kids were little, but HOLY MOLY I never pictured a MOPS meeting like that! Our Children’s Ministry Director – Kelly Clark – was the speaker and she had us rolling on the floor. She was (and is) hysterical! And while spicing up the marriage was part of her message, it was more about nurturing that relationship when the kids are little and how important it is.

After that we had a “marital relations expert” on hand to “give advice” and “share ideas” about “turning up the heat”. She also had “certain items” for purchase to “aid in said advice and ideas”. (Quotation mark overuse?) Now some may find this appalling and maybe even offensive, but I make no apologies here. Sex between a husband and wife is a good thing. A really, really good thing. A really, really good GOD thing. And sex between a husband and wife of small children can be a nonexistent thing. So I say if a couple needs a little som’n som’n to help in that area then by all means.

Next month I’ll be talking about breast cancer. I know, right? Talk about a hard act to follow. And believe you me. February’s meeting is not one that is likely to be forgotten any time soon!

Presidents' Day And Other Happenings

2010-02-15T14:00:00.007-05:00

Happy Presidents' Day - especially those of you who get the day off of school or work. Personally I'd rather be celebrating spring. A warm, but not hot, sunny day with the windows open and the smell of fragrant flowers wafting through a very clean and dust free house (it's my fantasy, isn't it?). While I'm at it, on this very lovely day I would like to be boxing up clothes that are now much to large for me and putting away my new, significantly smaller clothes that fit just right and proclaim a chic, yet casual sense of style...

Wow. That was a great happy place. I'll have to remember to go there more often!

There is still snow everywhere. Mostly still pretty snow, except for on the sides of the roads. A good deal of that snow is rather dirty. And the snow on our deck? Sookie has an issue with getting off the deck with all the snow in the yard so she's been using the snow on the deck AS HER RESTROOM! "Don't eat yellow snow" has taken on a whole new meaning. Not to mention the poopcicles out there. Just... yuck. The silver lining? I'll get back to you.

And guess what! They're calling for more snow tonight and tomorrow night. At one time some meteorologists were saying we could get another 10 inches. Thankfully that thought is now passe and they're talking about 2 to 4 inches where we live. The silver lining? Because it's supposed to snow tonight and into the morning hours I think school is going to be delayed by 2 hours. Not such a bad thing considering we've all had the last six mornings to sleep in late. We could use a 2 hour delay to ease into getting up early again.

While I'm on a roll here, I think I'll just keep up the slightly negative tone of this post.

Todd and I are sick. Late Friday afternoon he started complaining about stomach cramps and I just figured he was being some kind of a baby (because I lack compassion. It's true.) Friday night, however, as Katie and I were watching The Princess Bride (as opposed to the opening ceremonies - don't judge me. I'm still a proud American) my tummy started doing the same thing. Sure enough. We both ended up with some weird kind of stomach bug. There has been no throwing up, but a lot of wishing there was some throwing up just to feel better. And there's been quite a bit of, um, "running" to the bathroom, if you catch my drift. I was actually going to go into work this morning, but my stomach still hurts and I can't eat much of anything without feeling horrible. Weird. The silver lining? I'm starting my weight loss program today! And heaven forbid the kids get it and miss school - from my fingers to God's eyes.

My sister, Terri, lives in Fort Worth. They, too, had snow. Quite a bit for that region, in fact. She had a great time playing in the snow with her grandson, Anthony. They had snowball fights and built a snowman. Lots of fun for an awesome grandma. But she slipped and fell Friday night on her driveway, breaking her leg at the ankle and requiring an ambulance ride to the hospital. They set it and put a splint on it, but when the swelling goes down she'll require surgery. The silver lining? They prescribed her some killer goofers!

I've been reading An Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon for the last couple of months. It's a little over 800 pages and I'm having a fairly difficult time with it. If you don't know anything about this book I'll tell you. It's book number 7 in the Outlander series. The first several books of the series are amazingly good and the real talent DG has is for building such complex characters that you end up feeling as though they're good friends. So you keep reading the series, even though the books start getting a little bogged down. I'm finding this current read a little bit like a treasure hunt. There's a lot of sand to dig though, but I keep coming up with little, or big, gems so it makes the work worth it. Living near Philadelphia with all it's Revolutionary War history makes it interesting, too, because that's what's going on in the book. So I'm enjoying it, and yet I'm not. I just want to read the good parts and move on to a much smaller, much more shallow and insipid, much easier book to read! But I can't until I've finished this one. So maybe I should get off the computer and read some more.

Oh wait! I forgot I was supposed to post more pictures of the blizzard. So without further ado, I give you THE GREAT BLIZZARD OF 2010

And how about these pictures of "Meerkat Brady", taken by Laura. He was looking for his girlfriend through the snow, but couldn't see over the drifts!

The Great Dig Out - Part One

2010-02-11T10:36:00.003-05:00

Just a few pictures of The Great Dig Out. More to come...

A Day in the Life of a Snowed In Family

2010-02-10T12:48:00.008-05:00

We may not have been in a real blizzard Saturday, but we are today. It's absolutely beautiful outside - operative word being "outside". As in I'm inside and warm and comfy and I don't have to go outside at all today so I'll enjoy the view.

While at wine club Friday night we were talking about "The French Toast People". You know, the people who run to the store and buy up the eggs, milk and bread before a big storm hits. Which sounded really good to all of us. Sadly, I only had wheat bread and you just can't make good french toast with wheat bread. Ewww. It doesn't even bear thinking on. Monday I had to go to the store and I decided to grab a package of big, fluffy Texas toast bread for this morning. Oh. My. Goodness. It was the best French toast I've ever had. Ever. In my whole entire life. Sorry Mom. Your French toast was always yummy, but this was a new recipe I found with the teensiest bit of flour and it was simply exquisite. The sliced bananas, powdered sugar and whipped cream on top didn't hurt anything either.

Sookie was happily romping on the snow covered deck while Katie and I enjoyed our delicious breakfast. If I hadn't been so enamoured with my nummies I would have tried to get some cute pictures. She was trying to catch the snow as it fell, diving into the drifts and having a grand time when all of a sudden she started her vicious there's-a-very-threatening-monster-in-my-yard bark. Her hackles were raised - and the girl has huge hackles - and a very large chocolate lab ran up on our deck. Sookie yelped and growled and barked and jumped off the deck with the lab right on her heals and me yelling at her to get in the house. If you're standing at the door you can't see down to the bottom of the deck steps so I had no idea what was going on down there. I was in my slippers and as I was debating whether or not I should tromp through a couple feet of piled snow Sookie came hauling up the stairs (she's uber fast) and ran in the house. I just managed to get the sliding glass door closed before the lab practically slammed into it. Sookie was quite agitated, barking, whining, whining, barking and the owner of the lab finally managed to get her off our deck and back home. It was much too much excitement for what was supposed to be a totally lazy day!

Todd and Taylor watched a Bruce Lee, Jet Li or some such martial arts movie in the basement while Katie and I watched Meet Me In St. Louis and I got caught up on some work work. It was delightful. Of course, we couldn't start the movie until Sookie finally calmed down which seemed to take a good 30 minutes or so.

And dinner tonight? Cheesy Corn Chowder and sourdough bread. That stuff is plum larapin! OH! That reminds me, I need to get the stew meat out of the freezer for tomorrow's dinner. Because nothing says "Yea! It's another snow day!" like a rich, meaty stew. And guess what I'm making for breakfast in the morning. Yup! French toast. I can hardly wait!

That's right. It snowed for nearly 30 hours straight and we got a good 20 inches on top of what we already had from Saturday. The school called this evening and said one more snow day which makes for a very long weekend because the kids were already off for Friday and Monday.

Finally, I told my mom I'd be posting pictures of this new snow today. As you can see there are no pictures. Hopefully I'll be able to post some tomorrow, though I think it's going to take all four of us to make even a dent with the necessary shoveling. Maybe they can shovel and I'll be the photodocumentarian. Brilliant!

The Great Blizzard of 2010

2010-02-06T20:42:00.003-05:00

Technically the blizzard didn't reach quite this far north, but we did get a lot of snow so I'm saying we were in the Great Blizzard of 2010. It makes a nice blog title, don't you think?

A look up our street after the snow plow came through:

Sookie wasn't too sure about so much snow at first, but once she figured out how to maneuver she loved it.

Not such a great day for rocking on the deck:

A view of the green belt - not so green:

Pretty, isn't it? Especially because I didn't have to get out in it. Instead I just hung out in the house, sipping coffee in my flannel lounging jammies. I'd say it was a good day.

Maybe Growing Up Isn't So Bad

2010-01-24T20:59:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I found a box of old pictures out in the garage and looking through them brought back such happy memories and made me smile. It also made me the teensiest bit sad because I miss my cute "little" kids. Oh, how precious they were and what fun we had - the giggling and the snuggling and the playing. It doesn't hurt that I was also one of their favorite people back in the day. Then they had to grow up and those apron strings they used to hold onto so tightly have stretched longer and longer and their grip has loosened. Almost sounds like a bad thing.

Except for they were cracking me up tonight. I mean really making me laugh. And it just reminded me ('cause I know this but I forget a lot) that while sometimes teenagers can be exasperating, they can also be a ton of fun. I may not get the snuggling (though I still get a lot of hugs) and playing is not quite the same, there's still a lot of giggling. So I'm not the teensiest bit sad anymore.

Grandpa's Fiddle

2010-01-19T19:50:00.006-05:00

Some of my fondest memories of my grandfather are when he would bring out his fiddle and play us some tunes in his living room. I can still picture him holding the fret board with his nimble fingers, hunched over with his chin in the chin rest, foot stomping and mouth twitching in time as he would run the bow over the strings and make his music.

I called my mom tonight to get my Grandpa/Fiddle facts straight because I had them a little skewed. So here are the facts as Mom knows them:

Grandpa started his musical career when he was just a kid in Abilene, Kansas during World War I. He and a friend of his would hang out on the steps of the town square singing patriotic songs. Doesn't that just sound like something out of a movie?

Mom said she thought he might have taken some fiddle lessons when he was about 10, but he had to sneak around to do so. Mostly he taught himself to play the fiddle and he couldn't read music so he played by ear. When my mother's family moved from Kansas to California, my grandfather forgot his fiddle in the attic so in 1942 he bought this fiddle at a pawn shop in Oakland.

When I was a teenager I asked Grandpa if I could try to play his fiddle. I knew a little something about music, being a fair to middling pianist and a dabbling guitarist, so I was able to pick out Ode to Joy and he said it was the prettiest his fiddle had ever been played. So not true. It was squeaky and screechy and there were a lot of wrong notes. But I was his granddaughter and I was "playing" a classical tune on his fiddle. What else was he going to say?

Several years after he died my nephew, Matt - an awesome fiddle player, loaned Katie his 3/4 size fiddle and she and I took lessons together. Todd and Taylor took guitar lessons together from the same guy and he would teach Todd the guitar part of some bluegrass tune and me the fiddle part and we'd ho down in the living room every now and again. We weren't so great, but it sure was fun!

Every time I look at the fiddle it makes me smile. I get my love for music (and a slight bit of musical ability) from both sides of my family and Grandpa's fiddle is tangible evidence of what was passed down from my mom's side. But even better are the memories and stories it provides - not just for me, but for all my mom's family. I saw a lovely bit of sunlight coming through the window yesterday so I decided to get some shots of this beloved fiddle. No doubt the pictures don't truly show it the way I see it.

And his rosin. I loved the way the sunlight made it glow!

Randomosity

2010-01-17T12:26:00.005-05:00

Katie's still skiing and enjoying every minute of it. Last night she called but could hardly talk because she was laughing so hard. I have no idea what was so funny, but I couldn't help giggling. I am definitely ready for her to come home, though. I miss her and I'm not ashamed to say so! Depending on the phase of her teenage girl angsty hormonal emotions when she gets home I may be ready for her to go skiing again next week, but we'll just play that one by ear.

***

Five of Taylor's buddies came over last night and ate burgers, played Wii and watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog. He wanted the guys to watch the DVD, but said he couldn't bring himself to invite his friends over for burgers and a musical. It's pretty funny stuff, though, and definitely not your average musical. Besides, half of them watch Glee so I guess they decided watching Dr. Horrible would not compromise their manliness any further.

***

Speaking of Wii, I got Todd the Wii Resort for Christmas. He's been practicing the ping pong so he can take on our neighbor, John. They talk smack to each other and everything, but it's really hard to take them seriously when you see their cute little Miis with their Aloha shirts and goofy smiles. ~~Men~~ Boys.

***

After months of no thrush-like symptoms, I woke up Friday morning with the insides of my cheeks swollen and my tongue more swollen than normal. I could hardly talk or eat without biting my tongue or cheeks. But there's nothing to be done about it because it's not actually thrush, just a side effect of having horrible thrush during chemo NEARLY FOUR YEARS AGO! Plech. It happens when I get worn down, but I didn't have a bad week or anything so I'm not sure why it happened this time. I didn't sleep so well for several nights so maybe that's it. I don't know. It's still swollen, but not as bad as it had been. Stupid tongue.

Just last week I was thinking about how much better I'm doing in my head than I was even a year ago. And I definitely am, but every now and again these little reminders that I'm not the same as I was before cancer pop up. I don't often think about my new normal anymore and it's kind of funny that something as benign as a swollen tongue can bring it back. But I'm very happy to say that, while it used to feel like a scab being pulled off a gaping wound, it's now just a bruise. And not even a yucky black and blue or purplish-green bruise. A barely bruise. The kind you have to look at closely to see if it's just a smudge of dirt or an actual bruise. And I have to say it feels good. But I still don't like my stupid tongue.

***

I think that's enough randomosity for the morning. I'm off to write my thoughts about the Tower of Babel, now.

Ciao!!

Just Another Friday Night

2010-01-15T21:47:00.001-05:00

Yikes! It's been a week since my last real post so I HAVE to post something tonight. I guess I'll just tell you what's going on at the moment. Kind of like Live Stream Blogging. (Is that a term?)

There's a Counting Crows concert on TV so Todd and I are watching that whilst ~~playing~~ working on our computers. Alright. I just glanced over at his computer and he really is working. Whatever. I'm sitting in the chair with one leg propped up on the ottoman. Sookie had been sleeping up there with her head on my ankle, but she had a bad dream or something, twitched and then nearly fell off. The way she looked at me made me think she might be blaming me. She's no longer on the ottoman.

Taylor is hanging out with Kristen and another couple tonight and Katie is skiing in Vermont. Lucky little thing! Her good friend invited her to go with her family up to Northern Vermont for a long weekend. Her friend is an excellent snowboarder and this is Katie's first time skiing. Apparently she loves it. Boy am I glad because we rented her skis for the season and I bought her a really nice pair of ski pants. We live about 10 minutes from the local ski mountain so now I know we'll get our money's worth.

She and I went to the ski shop last week to rent her equipment and outfit her for skiing. It was the first time I'd been in a ski shop in probably 23 years and I forgot how much I love them. It also made me remember just how much I loved to ski many moons ago. Next year, baby. I'm skiing next year.

Because Katie is allergic to peanuts and peanut butter I try not to buy foods with possible peanut products simply because I don't think it's fair for us to eat something in front of her that she can't. But since she's gone for five nights I went hog wild at the store Wednesday afternoon. Peanut butter Chex Mix, toffee peanuts, Nutter Butter Cream Wafers, Sweet & Salty peanut bars, and peanut butter whoopee pies. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't. I do think I'll be so over peanuts and peanut butter by the time Monday rolls around, though. Just in time to start eating healthy. Right??

Todd is now playing on Wii Frisbee and I think I'll go put the clothes on my bed away. In fact I think I'll let him wait up for Taylor and I'll go to bed and read for a bit. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do!

Noah's Boys

2010-01-10T21:31:00.003-05:00

Genesis 10 is now up. The button will take you right there. I also published Genesis 9 on the 5th, BTW, but I forgot to let you know.

Living Simple

2010-01-08T13:24:00.009-05:00

A month or so ago I mentioned that our microwave was no longer waving, micro or otherwise. It was just making loud, scary noises. We started looking into replacing the over-the-stove appliance right before Christmas. Not exactly the time of year to be spending extra money.

We also have to put about $1,000 into the car before it will pass inspection in March (new tires and another new driver's side mirror); the heater is acting up and as everybody across the country knows - it's been really cold everywhere; the roof needs patching; and we're now looking at college tuition for Taylor in the fall.

With all those expenses coming up the thought of paying for a new microwave is less than appealing so we've been kicking it old school. That's right, folks. We are making popcorn on the stove, heating our leftovers in the oven and actually cooking. It's been a great experience for the children to see what life was like back in the day when roughing it was just part of life and to maybe have a little more appreciation for how much easier life is now.

Next I might take away the Wii and let them play my old Mattel Football game. Just another lesson in living simple...

I'm Rolling Now

2010-01-03T16:15:00.004-05:00

Look. Two days and I'm back. I've even written the next Trippin' post and have scheduled it to be published on the 5th. I'm really rocking my New Year's plans.

I think I figured out part of my non-blogging problem. My blog has been referred to as the Seinfeld of blogs by certain people (you know who you are). You know. A blog about nothing. Which is really easy to write about. But for some reason I started thinking I needed to actually write about something. I have no idea why. I do much better writing about nothing. So here I am. Writing a post about nothing.

It's good to be back.

***

For those of you who thought I was jesting, we really did have black eyed peas and hog jowls on New Year's Day. Except I didn't eat any of the hog jowls. That would be gross. The black eyed peas, however, were absolutely delicious. Even Todd, non-bean eater that he is, keeps asking his dad to show me how he made them because he had two bowls. Yes, they were THAT good.

***

New Year's Eve was kind of lame this year. I stayed in my room and slept most of the day because I was sick with what seemed to be a horrible head cold. Todd and his visiting parents stayed downstairs and watched movies or something. And Taylor and Katie went to Countdown, the youth group's annual New Year's Eve party. The band plays at 12:00 and this year Katie sang lead for Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer" while Taylor played electric bass for all the songs. We were going to go watch, but thankfully they're doing it again tonight at the regular youth group so we don't have to stay up all night. And thankfully my cold was very short lived so I actually feel like going.

***

I'm not looking forward to getting up for work tomorrow. The work itself is fine, the people are fine - I love my job. I just hate getting up early when it's so bitterly cold. Oh, who am I kidding? I hate getting up early any time, but especially when it's cold outside. Does anybody know how to trick myself into not minding getting up early? I'd really like to be able to get up around 5:30 every morning and go swimming or walking and get some things done around here before I go to work. But if I do that I'll just want to come home and go back to bed which would be bad for job longevity. If anybody has any ideas, please do tell.

***

Please do not mistake this for a New Year's Resolution, but tomorrow I'm going to start eating healthier. Really, I am. I'll let you know how that goes.

***

Sookie has been very naughty lately. She has a thing for Reid, the adorable Irish Setter puppy who lives across and down the street just a little bit. I know. She's stepping out on Brady and I don't agree with this lifestyle choice, but what am I to do? She's escaped the yard several times lately and Todd had to take her collar to the invisible fence people yesterday and turn it up. I think possibly her thicker winter coat was insulating her neck against the zap. Not so anymore. Hopefully she'll stay in the yard now. Trollop.

***

My Mother-In-Law and I went into Philadelphia Wednesday to see the Princess Diana Exhibit at the National Constitutional Center. We got there about 10:30 and the first available tour was at 4:30. So we found a movie theater and saw It's Complicated, then we found a quaint little Italian trattoria for a late lunch and finally it was time for the tour.

I'm glad I saw it, but I wouldn't go see it again. It was waaaay too crowded. What I did enjoy were all her dresses and outfits I remember seeing her in and especially her wedding gown. I remember watching the wedding while I was at church camp so it was kind of surreal to see that dress in real life. Wanna know a secret? It wasn't all that pretty.

***

Oh, look at the time! I must be on my way to do more nothing so I'll have nothing to write about later!

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T13:51:00.007-05:00

I hope you all had a good 2009 and may 2010 be even better! (I know. Very cliche'. But I do mean it.)

I'm not one to make resolutions because they always go by the wayside about the second day of January. I could maybe resolve to not do anything different this year and then I would probably meet my goals for 2010, but that sounds a little depressing. So I'm not going to make any formal resolutions.

I do plan to publish a post on this blog and my Trippin' Through The Bible blog at least once a week. I may not publish anything more than, "Yo. What's happening?", but at least it will be something.

That might sound suspiciously like a resolution, but it's not. Okay? Okay.

So this is a start. And I published Genesis 8 today, too. Now I'm good until next Friday...

You can click on this button and it will take you to today's Trippin' post:

I just got a text from downstairs that the hog jowls and black eyed peas are done and yummy so I'm outta here! Have a great New Year's Day, everyone!!

December 26, 2009 Ian Update

2009-12-26T12:38:00.002-05:00

I thought it would be easiest for me just to copy and paste Carrie's latest note for those of you who are praying for Little Ian.

Hey Team Ian,

Things have been a few ups and downs here today, but mostly ups :)

Ian had a rough night sleeping, very restless and unsettled. This morning the access to his port had to be replaced due to a blood clot. This process was a bit uncomfortable for him. He also started getting sick this morning. The vomiting is most likely a result of the anesthesia and steroids he started taking, not yet because of the chemo. None-the-less it scares him a lot when he gets sick and it is hard for me to watch. He has been resting most of the morning and had a great visit with Mommom and Poppop.

The great news to share is that Ian is already responding well to treatments. After his first blood transfusion last night his labs are already showing improvement to the point that they are decreasing the frequency of drawing blood. Assuming Ian does not spike a fever or other negative symptoms tonight, Ian and I will be able to come HOME tomorrow!!! Of course we are nervous about taking Ian home because there will be a lot to manage in terms of his medications and symptoms, but we are willing to be quick learners!! The rest of this first phase of treatment will be outpatient. Ian will only need to be admitted again if he develops an infection or other complications.

Here is an overview of what our first phase of treatment looks like:
- Ian will be taking daily does of chemo, steriods, anti-nausea meds and another med for acid reduction
- Ian will be taking antibiotics periodically throughout the month to stave off infections
-We will come back to the clinic weekly for chemo treatments and lab work. This coming week we will come back on Monday for chemo through a shot and then again on Friday for chemo through an IV and another bone marrow biopsy.
- At the end of month Ian will get one week off treatment for testing to determine the treatment course for Phase 2.
- Likely side effects: The first phase is the most intensive for the drugs Ian is receiving. He will probably be nauseous, constipated, and may get sick at times. He will probably experience irritability, agitation and sleep difficulties. He may start losing his hair at the end of the month. Interestingly, from the steroids he is going to experience a significant weight gain. As the mom of a 42 pound 3 year old, this is mind boggling, but the doc promises me Ian will start eating more than Matt!! This weight will start to drop as the steroid is decreased in future phases of treatment.

Please continue to keep this family in your prayers. As you can see, they have an incredible attitude about all this and I know for a fact it's their faith they're living out loud.

Christmas Eve Pretties

2009-12-25T15:29:00.007-05:00

**Another Praise Break**

Little Ian is doing great! Santa found him in the hospital so he didn't have to miss out on Christmas. After the presents were opened there was a surgical cancellation so he has had a successful port placement and spinal tap with NO evidence of cancer in his nervous system!

Keep those prayers coming!

**End Another Praise Break**

Every year on Christmas Eve our neighborhood sets out luminaries and lights them at 5:00. This year was exceptionally pretty because of the snow. So I give you a little view of our street last night...

The Times, They Are A'changin...

2009-12-25T09:22:00.003-05:00

**Praise Break**

Little Ian's test results came back with great news!! His leukemia is NOT bi-phenomyopic. He has ALL Leukemia which is the best scenario. His surgery has been moved up to this morning and treatment will begin right away. Now let's pray for successful treatment with little to no side effects. And I'll keep you all posted.

**End Praise Break**

So it's 9:30 on Christmas morning and Katie just got up. Breakfast is still cooking and the boys are watching Casino Royale. Long gone are the days of being woken by two little kids who can hardly wait to go see what Santa brought them.

It's much more relaxing this way, but it's kind of sad, too. The contagious "magic" of Christmas morning as seen through the eyes of children is missing. In fact, it hardly feels like a special morning. Except for that we're all in our Christmas jammies and the smell of a baking breakfast casserole and a roasting turkey is permeating the air. And there are stacks of presents waiting to be ripped opened.

So this year we'll eat breakfast first and THEN open presents. And the whole time I'll remember exactly why we're celebrating Christmas in the first place.

Requesting Prayers for a Christmas Miracle

2009-12-24T12:17:00.004-05:00

I have an urgent prayer request from anybody and everybody. Our good friends, Matt and Carrie Silver, are experiencing something no parent should ever have to. Their 3-year-old son, Ian, was just diagnosed with leukemia. Yesterday they were waiting to find out if it was ALL or ALM (two different types of leukemia which require two different treatment regimens) and this morning he was to have surgery to insert a central line for chemotherapy and a routine spinal tap to see if the cancer has affected the nervous system.

In the midst of all this, however, read what Matt wrote:

We’re finding an inexpressible peace in the middle of all of this chaos. Our lives are radically different today, tomorrow, and in the future but they are in God’s care. Today feels better than yesterday because we are able to deal with more certainty. The medical staff we are dealing with are nothing short of phenomenal. These people LOVE KIDS and are LOVE Ian. Post marrow test, our little hero has not complained about any pain and ran the nurse ragged. She brought him (per his request) three popsicles and two bowls of Fruit Loops.

Yesterday Matt and Carrie asked for these prayers:

- Accurate findings to determine the type of Leukemia
- A good night’s sleep through the night.
- A successful surgery in the morning (spinal tap, chemo tube insertion)
- That he responds well to treatment and we get out of here ASAP
- Nathan (their toddler) feels the love from his family as he need’s to adjust as well

This morning's surgery was dependent on which type of cancer it is. Said surgery has been cancelled because the labs came back as positive for both ALL and ALM. They are awaiting results of further testing and are praying it is not bi-phenomyopic leukemia, which "would be much harder to treat, is less curable, has higher rates of relapse and as the doc said "is a harder up hill battle".

I know this is a horrible time for Matt and Carrie, but their faith and reliance on God is so inspiring. My heart hurts for them and there's a knot in the pit of my stomach. Yet at the same time there is a peace in knowing they have put it all in God's hands.

Please pray for Matt, Carrie, Nathan, and especially Ian. A Christmas miracle would be greatly appreciated.

The Perfect Year End Letter - And Not So Much

2009-12-16T22:20:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine took my idea for the Perfect Christmas Letter and ran with it. I asked her tonight if I could post it on my blog and she gave me her permission. So I give you the Perfect Christmas Letter by Ruth S.

PERFECT: faultless, without defect, of the best, highest or completest type

I just want you to know that in spite of what you may have heard, I have the perfect life. I have a perfect home in a perfect neighborhood, with a perfect job, perfect health and perfect hobbies. I perfectly balance all of my resources so that I can be a perfect example of wholeness and good health. I attend a perfect church and have developed a perfect balance of strengths and vulnerabilities in my relationships.

My children, each one of them in creative and wonderful ways are perfect. They all live in perfect locations, have perfect jobs, have all made perfect choices this past year, and are on perfect paths towards their perfect careers, relationships and opportunities. They, too, have perfect friends, hobbies, interests and have spent every perfect moment in perfecting their purposes. Each is perfect in intellect, good humor and good looks. And oh yes, we also have the perfect pets.

I am so blessed to live in a perfect country, where we have perfect government, perfect infrastructure, perfect international relations and perfect priorities. We have the perfect climate and weather, perfect health care, perfect public services and always perfectly reported news. We are surrounded by a perfectly amazing smorgasbord of perfect entertainment and recreational opportunities. Our natural and manufactured resources perfectly match our needs, and every worker and producer is perfectly rewarded for their perfect products, accomplishments and services.

I certainly do have perfect grandchildren! Without a doubt they are a perfect combination of beauty, intelligence,love, curiosity, joy and amazement.

Although most of the above is fiction (except the perfect grandchildren) I am so thankful that because of the perfect gift God sent in Jesus we really can have perfect grace, perfect mercy, perfect sacrifice, perfect forgiveness and perfect PEACE! Our lives may be full of imperfections, but because of the amazing gift that we have been given at Christmas, God really does see us as perfectly redeemed and sanctified. May your holidays be full of appreciation and celebration of this humbling and incredible wonder.

BLESSINGS TO EACH AND ALL OF YOU!

One of the best letters I've ever read! Thanks, Ruth!

And thanks to Tara for directing me to this very funny video from the Jay Leno show. It made her think of my letter. :o)

Aloha, fungi!

Snow Time

2009-12-05T17:59:00.007-05:00

I had to take some pictures of the first snow of the season which also means I had to post them (including the obligatory Sookie picture).

Home Improvement

2009-12-04T18:04:00.006-05:00

I think that term is a little misleading. It suggests that the home would be improved with whatever work is being done. I'm still working on the dining room and at this moment there is no improvement. In fact, it seems to be going quickly down hill.

I finally got all the wallpaper off, but there was a lot of gummy stuff left so I tried to wash it off. That just made it stickier so I tried to sand it off. Meh. I patched the holes and then sanded again and then washed again. These were some clean walls! Once they dried there was no more gumminess so I was ready for the next step.

Priming. What a pain in the rear. I don't like priming. That stuff is oily and icky and even the "odorless" primer is odorful, just not as bad as the odery stuff. That's not really a problem, though, because I like the smell. I also like the smell of markers and glue and even diesel and cigar smoke mixed together. Now that I think about it, this strange fondness for certain chemical smells explains a lot about my brain. But I digress.

I finished priming both the top and the bottom of the dining room this afternoon. Next I was going to start painting the woodwork and there's a lot of it: crown molding; chair rail; baseboards; a fairly large window; and two doorways. I was thrilled the other day when I found the leftover trim paint in the basement. But when I opened it at 5:50 or so I discovered very old paint with crumbly bits of black rusty stuff mixed in it. That left me a little disheartened, but at least I have the color recipe. Unfortunately Sherwin Williams closes at 6:00. Looks like no more work in the dining room until I can get the trim paint tomorrow. Guess I'll just hang with three-fourths of the family instead.

It now appears that I won't be actually painting until next weekend. Then maybe I can get the rest of the dining room furniture out of the living room and make the house look a little like Christmas. And maybe then my home will be improved.

Christmas Letters

2009-12-01T17:08:00.003-05:00

I've been working on my ~~annual~~ sporadic Christmas letter. There's a fine line between sharing the banner moments and bragging. Of course some of that is due to the perceptions of the reader, but sometimes those yearly letters are blatantly pompous. In an effort to keep mine as humble as I can I thought I'd share what I've written with you, my very good and honest friends, for your opinions before I send it out.

Dear Friends and Family,

How are you? I am perfect. My children are perfect. My husband is perfect. My marriage is perfect. My dog is perfect. My bank account is perfect. My home is Better Homes and Garden perfect.

My clothes are perfect. My hair is perfect. My weather is always perfect. My singing is perfect. My temperament is perfect. My parenting is perfect. My life is perfect.

May your 2010 be half as perfect as my 2009.

With all the love in my perfect heart,
Jenster

So what do you think?

Expanding My Mind... Groovy...

2009-11-29T19:16:00.011-05:00

Thanksgiving vacation is quickly coming to an end. Five days in a row of sleeping past 8:00 will be a thing of the past until Christmas break. Tomorrow will be the beginning of just another week and life will resume its routine.

Our friends, the Stenmans, invited us to share Thanksgiving with them since we don't have any family around here and we were happy to accept. The food was delicious and the company was so enjoyable. After dinner some of us played Bananagrams:

Have you played it yet? It's like Scrabble only better. I love Scrabble, but it can get tedious while you're waiting for your turn. (I never claimed to be incredibly patient.) But you're on your own when you play Bananagrams so you don't have to wait on anyone! (I think somebody in my family should get it for Christmas.) Not only did I leave the Stenman's feeling pleasantly full and happy at spending a nice day with them, I think I may have left a little smarter, too.

Friday and Saturday were spent baking, cleaning the kitchen and working in the dining room. Katie and I were able to prime above the chair rail and I'm hoping to get the bottom part primed this week. I'm going to have to re-paint all the woodwork, which I'm pretty sure is going to be a pain in the rear, and my plan is to start painting next weekend. We'll just have to see how that pans out. By the way - I love the smell of primer and mineral spirits. I just hope they didn't kill any new brain cells I may have amassed at the Stenman's Thursday.

Today was an enriching day at the theater. I mentioned about a month ago that Katie and her friend, Alexis, sang "Sisters" for their voice recital. It turns out that the Broadway production of White Christmas is currently in Philadelphia.

So Katie, Lexie and I left church after first service, had an early lunch at the King of Prussia Chili's and then headed into Philly for a matinee. (If you'd like to see what we saw on our drive into the city you can reference my last post. And just for the record - I did not take any of those pictures, though I wish I could take credit. I just got them off of Google Images.)

Our seats were in the very last row of the beautiful old theater. It doesn't look nearly as tall from the outside as it feels when you're walking up, up, up the stairs. And the actors' faces were pretty fuzzy from way up there, kind of like when they block out faces on the television to protect their identities.

Still, it did provide a different view. For example, we got to see the beautiful chandelier from the top before they raised it for the performance.

The play itself was delightful, even if we couldn't make out any features on the cast. Katie and Lexie enjoyed it and they held back when "Sisters" was sung on stage. I was a little worried they might get up and sing with the performers!

After the play we walked a block or so down Broad Street and got our overpriced beverage and pastry on at Starbucks. (No, I'm not dissing Starbucks. I'm just telling it like it is.) Then it was time to come home. Who knew the Eagles were in town today? I didn't. And I chose the wrong route to come home and ended up in horrendous traffic. Heinously horrendous!

But we did finally make it home and we're enjoying the last couple hours of our break by eating chocolate crinkles and watching "The Amazing Race". Well, the family is watching "The Amazing Race". I'm typing. Obviously. I just hope that all this culture and brain calisthenics will make me sharper tomorrow at work.

Incessant Babbling

2009-11-22T18:44:00.021-05:00

Time for another random "what's been going on" post!

***

Wednesday morning I drove Todd to 30th Street Station in Philadelphia so he could catch the train to DC. Traffic was normal week-morning traffic. That is to say it was horrendous. But I had a 20 ounce cup of coffee, good music on the iPod and fabulous, uninterrupted conversation with Todd. I guess enjoying being stuck in traffic with my husband for an hour and a half just means we really need to get out more.

The drive is pretty as it winds through hilly Conshohocken and Manayunk with the Schuylkill River on one side and low cliffs of black rock and forest on the other. Across the river are beautiful 200 year old churches with tall steeples and stone bridges with big arches. Eventually the rocks give way to Fairmount Park, a 9,300 acre park system made up of 63 different parks including the oldest zoo in the country, Philadelphia Zoo. And then (and this is my favorite part) there’s a bend in the road and the city comes into view in the distance. But first you pass the historical architecture of Boathouse Row, the Philadelphia Water Works and the Philadelphia Museum of Art with the modern skyline of Philly just beyond. It’s one of my favorite views and it never seems to get old.

***

My thirty-fourteenth birthday was Thursday. In my mind it’s just another day because thirty-fourteen isn’t a milestone year. Not only that, but it wasn’t the best day for a celebration. Todd was out of town and we had day one of our Thanksgiving Feast at preschool (I now know that food service isn’t my gift either). The Feast was fun but both Leanne and I had tired feet by the time we left.

That morning before I left for work the kids brought me my present from Todd. It was An Echo In The Bone by Diana Gabaldon and is book 7 of one of the best series ever. If you don’t know anything about the Outlander series, let me just tell you this. It’s all consuming and the books are long. It is an investment in time, but so worth it. The shortest book is the first one (Outlander) and it’s around 600 pages long. I usually read the entire series before each new book is released, but didn’t make it this time because my reading mojo is gone. So I’ve started AEITB and I feel like I’m getting to visit with long lost friends. I hope to read the entire series all over once I finish AEITB.

When I got home from work I received another present from the kids. A gift bag full of coffee samples, Mrs. Fields’ truffles and a purse-size 2010 planner. One of the coffee flavors was Jack Daniels’ and my smarty-pants son told me the next morning, “Now you don’t have to put whiskey in your coffee before you go to work, Mom.” They also ran to Wendy’s and got dinner for us so I didn’t have to cook. Then we watched our DVR’d Glee and Castle and it was lovely.

***

The other night I was trying to microwave potatoes and after they had cooked for 6 minutes I took them out to stir, returned the bowl and hit 6 minutes again. This time the appliance made a horrible sound so we decided cooking them on the stove top would be better. Fast forward a couple of days. We hadn’t used the microwave and I decided to give it a go. I thought maybe it had been the turntable doing something wonky. So I put in a cup of cold coffee to reheat and hit 1 minute. It still made the horrible sound so Sookie and I stood on the other side of the refrigerator just in case it blew up. Thankfully there were no sparks and no smoke, just a beeping when the minute was up. Unfortunately the coffee was still cold. So it looks like we need a new microwave. Just what I want to spend our money on this time of year. How long do you think we can live without one? I sort of remember life before their existence. Back when we had a rotary dial on the phone and four channels on the TV. I guess that means real popcorn over the stove, too. Oy!

***

Last, but definitely not least, Todd and I just saw a preview of the season opener for Chuck!! Now I can't wait for January!

Are You Kidding Me??

2009-11-17T20:06:00.006-05:00

I'm hopping mad about the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force's new recommendations on mammography and other excrement concerning breast cancer screening. These new guidelines seriously make me nauseous.

1. No mammograms until 50 and then only every other year.

* Because false positive mammograms cause undo anxiety and unnecessary biopsies.

Please forgive my insensitivity, but so-freakin-what! Isn't one woman's life worth just a little bit more than another woman's temporary anxiety? Not only that, but some mammograms scream CANCER! My oncologist took one look at my films and gave me a 95% probability of a malignancy.

Oncologist Mary Daly, chair of the clinical genetics department at Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia, said the reevaluation was flawed by its reliance on data from outmoded technology, namely film mammography. Digital mammograms, the new standard, have reduced the false-positive rate in women under 50.

* While annual mammography for all women beginning at age 40 reduced the death rate from breast cancer by at least 15 percent, the modeling studies showed the added benefit of starting before age 50 was modest, the researchers found.

Apparently the modest number of lives saved by annual mammography before 50 isn't worth anxiety and unnecessary biopsies in false-positive women.

* "... Petitti said. "Then there's the whole other line of problems that come into play, which is where there are some breast cancers detected that grow very slowly and would never have killed you."

But what about the very aggressive breast cancers, usually found in YOUNGER WOMEN? Those women have a much better chance of long-term survival when that cancer is found early.

And what about those women over 50 who have routine mammograms every year? My mother, for example. Her cancer was aggressive and if she hadn't had a mammogram until the following year there's no telling how far it would have spread.

2. [the task force] concludes that there is insufficient evidence to continue routine mammograms beyond age 74.

My mother was 73 when her cancer was found! So according to these guidelines, if her routine mammogram had been later in the year, like maybe AFTER she had turned 74, her cancer wouldn't have been found until it was much too late. What sense does this make???

3. The task force's new guidelines... also recommend against teaching women to do regular self-exams of their breasts.

Where's a punching bag when I really need one? This one slays me because here's the deal. Under the old guidelines, routine mammograms didn't start until age 40 because younger, denser breasts make it more difficult to interpret changes in the tissue. I was under 40 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Why? Because I just happened to be the patient of the best gynecologist in the entire world and he taught me how to do self-exams so I found my cancer early enough to treat it successfully. Even at that it had spread to my lymph nodes and was stage 2a, so what if I had waited until I was 40? My chances of recurrence would have greatly increased.

The whole thing just makes me want to cry. I feel like we've taken two steps back and I worry what this will mean for women. Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths in women, but the statistics have been getting increasingly better due to early detection. I'm so afraid of a backslide because of these new guidelines.

So pardon me while I drag my soap box over here and climb on.

Ladies - know your breasts!! Husbands - know your wives breasts!! Contact your doctor if you notice any of the following:

- A lump that stays the same size throughout your cycle or gets bigger
Breast changes:
- Thickening
- Swelling
- Distortion
- Tenderness
- Skin irritation
- Redness
- Scaliness
- Peau d’orange (dimpled skin resembling an orange peel)
Nipple abnormalities:
- Ulceration
- Retraction
- Spontaneous discharge

Don't freak out because chances are you don't have cancer. But don't you think it's worth a little anxiety and a needle in your boob to be safe rather than sorry?

And feel free to thumb your nose at the U.S. Preventative Services Task Force.

*Italicized sections taken from the Washington Post, Tuesday, November 17, 2009.

To Write Love On Her Arms

2009-11-14T16:03:00.007-05:00

Yesterday thousands upon thousands of teenagers wrote the word "Love" on their arms in support of the non-profit movement To Write Love On Her Arms. TWLOHA was started on MySpace with this statement:

To Write Love on Her Arms is a work in progress. This began with one broken girl, one painful night; addiction, depression, cutting. This is a glimpse at the five days that followed, a decision to love and to begin telling her true story. To Write Love on Her Arms is becoming something bigger, something hopeful. It's the realization of what life can be when we commit to meeting a need. A friend of mine told me there's no such thing as suicide prevention. This is an attempt to prove him wrong, to say that love can change a life. We can hold back the darkness. Rescue is possible.

The point is to love people wherever they are. Kids can be so mean to each other without any thought as to the damage they might be inflicting. Depression is rampant in teenagers, suicide is the leading cause of death in 18-24 year olds and cutting (self-mutilation) is on the rise. I have to wonder how those statistics would change if we all just loved each other, especially kids and young adults. Would the fact that these "high risk" people felt accepted and worthy change their habits? Would they be more likely to get help for their depression? Would the feeling of hope replace the need to cut their arms with a razor to feel something? I personally have no idea. But I do know it couldn't hurt.

So the thought of hundreds of thousands of teenagers across the country writing "Love" on their arms to tell their peers that they are important blows me away. We're always hearing about horrible teenagers, but there are a whole lot of wonderful kids who genuinely care about others. I don't particularly like it when my kids write on themselves, but I figured this time it was worth a picture. I just hope and pray that every single person who decorated their arm yesterday means it from their heart. No more belittling others, only encouraging.

If you want to know more about TWLOHA you can find information on their website here. And if you want to know where it all started you can read the following. It will break your heart even as you feel the hope building.

To Write Love On Her Arms

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes. Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

High Quality Entertainment

2009-11-12T19:55:00.010-05:00

I'm not a huge fan of television - I think it wastes brain cells and steals time, neither of which I have a large supply of - so I don't get into very many shows. In fact I limit the number of programs I'll allow myself to obsess over.

So what am I obsessing over right now? Only two of the best shows EVER.

My absolute favorite right now is Castle. It might even be my absolute favorite ever. And because I adore this show so much I'm always surprised at how many people have never even heard of it.

Richard Castle is a charismatic man and extremely successful mystery writer. His mother (a former Broadway star) and his teenage daughter (much more mature and grounded than either of the adults) live with him and the relationships between the three is precious. Kate Beckett is a tough, but compassionate homicide detective who has to "put up" with Castle because of a request from the mayor. She's loathe to admit what a huge fan of his books she is and even more dismissive of her growing feelings for him.

People, I'm telling you. This show is pure delight. Nathan Fillion plays Castle and he is perfect in the role of charming rogue with just the right mix of self-deprecation and conceit. Stana Katic is ideal as Detective Beckett. And they are so much fun together!

I'm telling ya, best show ever! (Monday nights at 10:00 Eastern on ABC)

And the second best show is...

GLEE. Okay. So it's not exactly high quality entertainment as my title suggests. But the songs are awesome and the arrangements are brilliant! Some of the plots go from a bit silly to flat out ridiculous, but that's part of it's attraction. It's fairly goofy with a serious issue here and there.

You can watch it on Wednesday nights at 9:00 Eastern on Fox OR you can DVR it (like we do) and watch it any time you want.

There are other shows I enjoy watching, but I would happily give up all television as long as I still get to watch Castle and Glee. Until January. Then I'll have to throw in Chuck, too.

Valley Forge, October 25, 2009

2009-11-09T21:51:00.020-05:00

Sunday, October 25th was another beautiful day. So I grabbed Precious, loaded Sookie in the car and took off for Valley Forge. It's so pretty and serene and I always come away feeling rejuvinated and just a little closer to God.

And that's all I've got to say about that. Instead I'll let the pictures speak.

Playing Catch Up

2009-11-08T08:39:00.007-05:00

I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything in over three weeks. I haven’t read any blogs in that time, either. (I’m not a very good bloggy friend.) So here’s a synopsis of what’s been going on around here.

Katie turned 15 on October 24. Fifteen. As in oh-my-goodness-my-baby-is-so-not-a-baby-anymore. I know I sound like a broken record, but how does that happen?? Crimanetly! That same day she was in a voice recital and sang beautifully. Okay. So I’m her mom and I’m a little biased. A lot biased. But she did a lovely job singing Castle on a Cloud from Les Miserables and she and her friend, Lexie, were cute when they sang Sisters from White Christmas. In fact everybody did a great job. Little Devlin was adorable in her glittery dress as she sang Let’s Get Together from Parent Trap and some of the other singers really were phenomenal. I can hardly wait for the next recital. The teacher, Katie, may not be in such a rush because I know it was a lot of work for her. But she organized and put on a great show.

***

The other morning I was putting our dinner together in the crock pot and it called for a cup (or a cup+) of white wine. Todd came walking in the kitchen as I was uncorking the bottle and gave me a look. You know that look. The one that says, Have you lost your ever lovin’ mind? I just kept at my task and told him I forgot to make coffee and I needed something to get me through the day. Then I had this thought. What if the cork was difficult to pull out and when I finally managed to dislodge it I spilled wine all over me? I wouldn’t have time to change so I would have to go to work smelling like alcohol. For a preschool. At a church. Thankfully that didn’t happen so I went to work smelling like my usual self – whatever that is. Hopefully not bad, but you know how it’s hard to smell yourself and people are too nice to tell you if you’re odiferous. Especially at a preschool in a church. Except for kids that age are very honest and I think if I smelled bad one of the kids would have mentioned it by now. Then again, I’m not really that close to the kids on a regular basis. But I do shower every morning so I can’t imagine I smell too awfully bad. But I digress.

As I turned the corner from the stairway to the offices I saw Leanne, the Preschool Director, sitting at a table with a bunch of paperwork and a strange man. Let me rephrase. A man who was a stranger. I don’t know if he was strange or not. But anyway, it turns out he was the State Inspector who dropped by for a surprise visit. And do you know what my first thought was? Thank you, Jesus, that I didn’t spill wine on my clothes this morning! ‘Cause, you know, if I had walked by him smelling like a ~~Wharf Licker~~ wino he might have been disinclined to pass us with flying colors. But pass us he did – and with those flying colors I mentioned – because we have the best preschool in the area, if not the state, if not the entire country – maybe even the world. Just sayin’.

***

Several years ago Todd had hair. Then one summer he agreed to play Pharaoh in our church’s VBS dramatization of the story of Moses. So he channeled his inner Yul Brenner and shaved his head, much to the surprise of just about everyone. It was priceless. He had this big headpiece on so no one had any idea. Then he got mad at Moses and threw his headpiece on the ground, revealing his bald head to everyone in the audience. The corporate gasp was priceless. So was the small scream 3-year-old Katie let out when she saw her daddy without his hair. He made a great Pharaoh and even threw in an Etcetera, etcetera, and so forth every now and again which was really funny considering it was the wrong Yul Brenner movie altogether.

From then on he never let his hair grow more than a quarter of an inch. He decided it was so much easier for me just to trim his hair every now and again. Then finally, about a year ago, he went back to the Mr. Clean look. He uses Head Blade products to shave his scalp and then buff his head to a nice sheen. The other day, however, he not only shaved his scalp, he scalped his scalp. Took two honkin’ chunks out of the top of his head. I had to cut a flap of skin off one of the chunks! Of course, since these were on the top of his head they bled like a stuck pig, though I don't really know exactly what that means other than to say they bled a lot. So I had to put bandaids on his head, too. Lucky for him it was cold enough to wear a hat! But he’s going to have to let his hair grow some now because he can’t shave until his head is completely healed. Oh, the irony…

***

Today was absolutely beautiful. Sunny, blue skies and low 60’s made it perfect for a walk in the woods. So Sookie and I walked for a little over two miles on the Perkiomen trail. One of the things I love about living where we do is all the trails around here. The Perkiomen trail is the closest to us and it follows the Perkiomen Creek, meandering through beautiful woods and alongside the ski slopes of Spring Mountain. There were a lot of bikers and almost as many walkers or runners today, but also we came across two different groups of horseback riders. Sookie had never seen horses up close and personal and I was a little concerned she might start her vicious I’m really afraid of you but I’m going to stand my hackles on end and snarl at you so you might think I’m a coyote thing, but she didn’t. Instead she slunk down to the ground and weaseled her way behind me. But as soon as the horses passed she decided they looked like they might be fun to chase. I finally had to stop and let the horses get out of sight because she wasn’t heeling very well.

When we got back from walking, Todd took her over to Brady’s house and I joined up with him soon thereafter. The dogs ran and jumped and nipped and played and did their peeing rituals (where one of them pees and the other one sniffs the area and then pees on top of it) while Todd and I visited with Bill and Laura. I left early to go home and make dinner and when Todd and Sookie got home she was one pooped puppy. Just the way I like her!

***

So there you have it. A few things that have happened since my last post. I can't promise when my next post will be because I want to make some blog rounds, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to wipe out my Google Reader and start over. I hate doing that because I'm so afraid I will have missed something really great or important, but I'm too far behind to catch up.

Until next time...

The Latest

2009-10-16T10:04:00.002-04:00

Saturday has now been cancelled as well. Todd and I are going to make the best of today. Lunch out, a movie and then the Phillies/Dodgers game this afternoon. We're also considering sleeping in our new sleeping bags tonight! On top of the bed, of course.

The Poconos - just north of us - have received over 4 inches of snow in some parts - a new record for this early in the season. They closed and were salting Kelly Drive in Philadelphia this morning because there were some icy slick spots. The air temps weren't quite freezing, but the road was cold enough to ice up in areas.

So again, as disappointed as I am about missing out on the experience, I'm glad they had the foresight to cancel. Makes me want to try it again next year!

A Mix of Emotions

2009-10-15T20:10:00.009-04:00

I was so proud of myself this afternoon. After leaving work early I ran by Target to buy a few last minute items including exercise pants in an attempt to keep my legs halfway warm this weekend. I packed up my duffel bag with all my goodies - even my sleeping bag, an air mattress, two tarps and a small, rechargeable air compressor - and it all came in at 33 pounds.

Todd and I also kept a watch on the weather and the 3-Day website and it was looking dismal. The weather kept looking worse and nothing was being said about alternative plans on the website. So I finished packing, had a nice family dinner, watched last night's GLEE on the DVR and got ready to leave for the hotel where we would be starting our adventure tomorrow morning.

As I stood there with my 33 pound duffel bag/back pack on my shoulders thinking, Dang! This sure feels more like 50 pounds!, Tina called to wish us good luck. She also wanted us to know that if we chose not to walk in the Nor'easter nobody would think ill of us, which I greatly appreciated.

Once again we got on-line to check the weather and the website. The high for tomorrow had dropped since the last time I had looked - down to 41 with a chill factor of 32. I started to have second thoughts because we really don't have the appropriate clothing for those types of temperatures. We then went to the website and found this:

October 16-18, 2009

In light of the extreme cold, windy and wet weather conditions the Philadelphia Breast Cancer 3-Day Opening Ceremony (previously scheduled for Friday morning at 7 a.m. at Willow Grove Park Mall) and the first day of walking have been cancelled.

As organizers of the event, our main priority is to ensure the safety and welfare of our participants. After consultation with medical and safety experts, a delay of the event was determined to be the most appropriate action.

I wanted to go "whew" and "nuts" all at the same time. (Would that be "whuts"?) I'm very disappointed that we're not going to get to have the whole experience. But I'm also relieved that the decision to go or stay was made for us. That would be because the Reverend Terri Stone told me she would pray for the right decision. Thanks Terri!

We're supposed to keep checking with the website to see what the plan is after tomorrow. I'll be sure to let you know!

Almost Walkin' Time

2009-10-14T20:19:00.011-04:00

Todd and I are nearly all packed up and ready for our three day adventure. The hardest part right now is making sure our duffel bags don't weigh any more than 35 pounds. Sounds easy, but when you have to put in a sleeping bag and an air mattress (because I'm NOT sleeping on the ground) it adds up.

October is usually such a beautiful month and a perfect time for walking six or sixty miles. Right? Except we're expecting a nor'easter this weekend.

Friday

High of 48

Saturday

High of 48

Sunday

High of 52

No biggy. What's a little water and low temps compared to a cure for cancer? That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

How about these encouraging words on the white board calendar at work?

And this is to let everyone know why I won't be at work on Monday.

Thanks, Kelly!! :o)

Trippin' Through Genesis 7

2009-10-11T16:24:00.002-04:00

There are a couple trippy things in chapter 7. Just click on the picture and see for yourself!

It's Been A Jenster Week

2009-10-08T17:21:00.014-04:00

THE EVOLUTION OF CAKE

Tuesday night was the first get together of the school year for my student small group. Katie and I decided we'd bake a celebratory cake for the occasion, but not just any cake. No. We decided to get a little wild and crazy so we baked one vanilla cake in two rounds and one chocolate cake in two rounds on Monday evening. Katie crumb sealed them with butter cream and we put them in the refrigerator to set.

Tuesday she put a regular layer of the butter cream on three of the layers and made a raspberry filling. We then stacked them vanilla, chocolate, vanilla and chocolate.

Four layers may have been a bit much because the cake started slipping and sliding and looked more like the Leaning Tower of Pisa so we had to brace it with chopsticks.

And then we frosted it. Or attempted to frost it.

It kept getting uglier and uglier.

Until it finally looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. Or a horror movie.

THE EXTINCTION OF CAKE

Just like it's true you can't judge a book by its cover, neither can you judge a cake by its frosting.

The fact that the ugly behemoth is nearly gone is testament to a delicious confection!

Todd was out of town so Taylor ran to the store for vanilla ice cream to accompany the cake while the girls and I did our thing. I thought to myself how great it was that I could give him a little cash and send him on his way to run this errand for me.

Until the next morning when I went to get in the car and it was wet inside. He left the sunroof open all night and it had rained.

"The Feed" Follow Up

2009-10-04T21:13:00.003-04:00

It's over. It wasn't quite as bad as I was afraid it would be, but then again I only watched it with my peripheral vision so I couldn't see me very well. I even motivated a friend to come to church just so she could see me. I'm afraid she was a little disappointed because, in her words, "I was expecting to see like big old nose hairs coming out of you or something . . ."

Well thank goodness there were no big old nose hairs. And I didn't hear anybody yell anything about facial hair, tacky clothes or one-inch roots. It was church, after all, and if people are going to be nice anywhere it should be there. Right?

I told my boss that if there's ever a next time I would like a little notice so I could consult my stylist.

Trippin' Through Genesis 6

2009-10-04T16:35:00.006-04:00

More Than You Wanted To Know

2009-09-30T18:26:00.010-04:00

I have this problem. It's a very serious problem and I've had it for as long as I can remember. I tell things that I shouldn't. Not about other people. I'm really good at keeping those kinds of things to myself. No, I tell things about myself that I shouldn't. A good example would be when I was complimented on a new dress at work several years ago I said, "Thanks! I got it for $5.00 at the Goodwill!" Those of you who have been reading my blog for the last three years or so are probably thinking about the posts I wrote about my breast reconstruction and nipple tattoos. That may have been TMI as well, but I don't know how to stop and this post is just going to be more of the same.

This morning as I was fixing my coif I thought to myself, "Self, you really need to call Darlene about those roots." Or if I was His Girl I would say that I'm in desperate need of some hairapy. Before I left for work I told Todd I was going to spend some time grooming tonight. You know: plucking the eye brows; waxing the lip; maybe masking to get rid of the zit that popped up last night. That sort of thing.

As for my wardrobe, well, I just wore one of my usual comfy v-neck tees, jeans and my Crocs because they're about the only shoes that don't bother my blisters (another post for another day).

So I get to work and the Children's Ministry team is having their weekly meeting and they're all looking sharp. Of course, they're all young and pretty and always look good even when they're wearing something like, oh, I don't know. A t-shirt, jeans and Crocs. But today it was nice make up, great hair, cute outfits. Sharp. Then I remember they're shooting The Feed, a video announcement for Sunday mornings.

I'm standing at the copier making -- can you guess? -- copies, while the girls are talking to Dave, the videographer, about the video details. Then I hear my name and see all these slightly sinister smiles directed toward me. Turns out there were seven announcements and only six ministry leaders.

I tried to ignore them and kept copying, hoping and praying they would forget about me and go about their business. But no such luck. Now I'm going to have to witness all my flaws on the big screen Sunday morning. *cough* I feel a cold coming on. I'm afraid of hearing something like, "Man, that chick needs a shave," or some such.

And the worst part? I've just given a ton of people something to look for on Sunday morning. Why? Because I can't keep my yapper shut! Or my fingers still.

Oh well. I much prefer to be behind the scenes, writing a script or something like that. But it's all good. I'm just working for Jesus, keeping it real. Know what I mean?

The Neighborhood Street Walkers

2009-09-24T08:05:00.004-04:00

Every morning as I leave for work I pass the neighborhood women, and the few men, who stand on the corner after walking the streets. Men and women of the oldest profession. Parenthood. "But Jenster, people don't get paid for being parents so it can't be a profession." Au contraire, mon frere. Parents may not receive cash for their efforts, but they do receive cards and home made gifts and kisses and hugs... it's more like a bartering system.

Sometimes I stop in the middle of the street, roll down my window and chat for a few minutes and sometimes I just slowly drive by, waiving furiously and hoping I didn't miss anybody. I would hate for somebody to feel left out. And then I drive off, feeling a little bit sad because that has never been part of my world.

When my kids were in elementary school I drove them every morning because I refused to let them ride the bus. Where we lived in Arkansas there was one bus for each neighborhood which meant my kindergartner and third grader would have ridden to school with the high school kids. I'm all about educating our children, but not THAT much.

By the time we moved up here I had a high schooler and a middle schooler and that first year I still was having a very hard time getting out of bed and moving in the morning. So there was very little street walking and corner-hanging-out going on for me.

I've decided, however, that I'm going to start being a part-time street walker. On Friday mornings, my days off, I'm going to walk up the street with Sookie (the corner usually looks like a dog park) and hang out on the corner, plying my trade in the form of, "When my kids did that I would ____", and then come home and head to my Bible study.

Then I, too, will be a neighborhood street walker!

Another Six Months

2009-09-16T22:27:00.003-04:00

So I saw the White Russian today. As doctor’s appointments go it was fairly pleasant. My biggest complaint every time I go is that they’re too prompt and I don’t get to read nearly as much in the waiting room as I’d like to. Which was a crying shame today because I’m reading this fabulous book that Laurie Kingston, a Mothers With Cancer friend of mine, wrote: Not Done Yet: Living Through Breast Cancer. She started a blog at the time of her breast cancer diagnosis and the book is a compilation of her posts. I’ll be doing a complete review when I finish, but suffice it to say I’m thoroughly enjoying it. Kind of a weird thing to say considering it’s about her experience with breast cancer, isn't it? But she’s funny and her way of dealing with things strongly resonates with me. And that’s all you get until I finish, which could have been today if the oncologist’s office was just a little less efficient.

On the way back to the scale I asked the nurse if I could just tell her how much I weighed and if so, I’m 125. She answered with, “So am I. But you’re going to have to stand on the scale anyway.” Then we went in the room for the preliminary vitals and blood work. Because I had lymph nodes removed I can’t have blood pressure or blood draws or anything that could aggravate the lymph system and cause lymphedema in my left arm. When the nurse asked which arm I drew a total blank. For a minute I couldn’t remember which side was okay to use. We both laughed and agreed that was a great thing.

Vitals taken and blood sucked, she handed me a robe and left the room. Which meant I had to disrobe from the waist up. Which meant persons other than myself would be seeing my underarms. D’oh!! Not only are left armed vitals off limits, so is shaving the left underarm. If you’ve been around here for the last couple of years you know I went through three sessions of laser hair removal which seemed to do the trick. Except it didn’t and now I have to go back for a touch up, though I keep forgetting to make the appointment and I hardly ever Veet because it’s so inconvenient and it kind of burns, too. But do you know what I say to sparsely hairy armpits at the doctor’s office? “Whatever.”

The appointment itself was very good and almost great. I think we spent at least half the time discussing college choices for Taylor – my doctor is pushing for Penn State and laments that his girls chose Yale, Harvard and Temple. Not a huge concern for us. But this appointment was supposed to be about me so let's get back to that.

My blood work was great (surprise, surprise, my white count was on the low side of normal). My vitals were great. My tumor markers were low. Everything was as it should be which is very good. I’ll get a bone density test in January, see the doctor in March and we’ll be that much closer to my 5 years.

The one glitch in the appointment is that I will be on the Arimidex two years longer than originally prescribed. The plan had been post-chemo treatment for five years which for me was two years of Tamoxifen followed by three years of Arimidex. There’s been a new study, however, that says there’s a better success rate when the patient stays on the Arimidex for five whole years regardless of how long she had been on any other post-chemo medication. A little disappointing, but I’m not going to complain about it (at least not at the moment). It’s small beans compared to the grand scheme of things.

Finally I checked out and high tailed it for the Starbuck’s down the street for my venti White Chocolate Mocha with whip to complete my visit. Because a trip to the doctor’s isn’t over until I’m sipping that sweet nectar of life and making yummy sounds. Besides, my oncologist’s office is about 40 minutes away and I needed something for the ride home.

Just Another Oncology Appointment

2009-09-12T19:04:00.001-04:00

This coming Wednesday I’m going to see my wonderful oncologist, otherwise known as The White Russian, for my 6 month check up. I’m pretty sure I know how it will pan out. I’ll sit in the waiting room happily reading until the nurse calls my name. She and I will walk back to the nurse’s station while she blames me for the weight she’s gained because I happened to tell her about Hope’s Cookies and now she can’t ever drive by there without stopping. Then, just to be spiteful I’m sure, she’ll make ME stand on the scale (at which time I’ll tell her again that I’ll be a good 30 pounds less the next time she sees me) and drain a couple vials of blood from my arm.

Once I get to the examination room I’ll be depressed about the weight she just recorded for all of eternity and The White Russian will walk in, disturbing my lamentations, and say how great it is to see a healthy person. Then I’ll feel bad about my whining when I would take every single ounce and then some if it meant not having cancer anymore.

He will ask how my summer was and what my family did. I’ll tell him we drove to Arkansas for a week to visit friends and family and how we didn’t get to see half the people we would have liked to. Then I’ll tell him how I flew to Seattle the following week to spend some time in a beach house with four other women. We’ll also talk about the tight, tingling, almost painful pressure my left arm feels whenever I fly or even ride in the car for any length of time without any support and he’ll look for signs of lymphedema. Thankfully he won’t find any unusual swelling and I’ll be told to keep wearing the compression sleeve when I fly and hopefully we’ll dodge this particular bullet.

After that we’ll discuss the stiffness in my joints and other bodily aches and we’ll decide that since it’s not debilitating pain I’ll just remain on the Arimidex for another 15 months. This is when I’ll realize I’m only little more than a year out from my 5-year goal and that will make me happy.

Most likely The White Russian will order a bone density scan because the combination of no ovaries and the Arimidex make for early onset osteoporosis. He’ll also probably decide I should have a colonoscopy because I haven’t had one yet and colon cancer is somehow closely related to breast cancer. Not only that, but there is a history of colon cancer in my family.

We will also look at my blood work which will no doubt look good except for my white count and other immune system related values. They might be within normal limits, but I can tell you right now they’re going to be low. How do I know this? Well for one thing they’re always on the low side of normal. In the nearly four years I’ve been finished with chemo they have never gotten very far above the line. But I’ve also managed to wear myself down which always results in a thick and swollen tongue, my own personal telltale sign of a low WBC. When it’s really bad, like it was after my trip to Seattle, minor cuts and blisters won’t heal and I’ll get a funky feeling that I just can’t describe so I’m not even going to try.

Thrown in between all this clinical stuff he’ll ask about my kids. When I tell him Taylor is now a senior in high school he’ll ask about his desired major and college. He’ll also ask how Katie likes high school and what do I think about being on this end of parenting. The White Russian will tell me a little about his family and their summer and before I know it my visit will be over.

I’ll then get to Peggy’s desk and we’ll chat for a moment and schedule my next appointment for sometime around March or so. And while I’m so happy I don’t have to make weekly or even monthly visits to the oncologist anymore, I’ll be just the teensiest bit sad that I don’t get to see these people for another six months. But then I’ll stop at Starbuck’s on my way home for a Venti White Chocolate Mocha with whip (Weight Watcher’s points don’t count on oncology days) and all will be right with the world.

I do wish I hadn’t gained all this weight (which I blame all on the various treatments I’ve been through since diagnosis) and I would love it if my body would be more cooperative and less stiff and achy. I’m very conscious about the possibility of lymphedema and I’m a little angry about the whole osteoporosis thing. The thing that bothers me the most right now is the white counts and the swollen tongue. How weird is that? It’s always swollen, but it gets worse when I’m feeling bad or overly tired and it gets in the way when I’m trying to talk and I’m always biting the sides with my sharp carnivorous molars.

Nobody ever tells you about all the stuff you have to deal with AFTER treatment, even if you don’t have any more cancer. But I’ll take all of it just to get to my 5-year goal and hear those magic words, “No Evidence of Disease”. And as I'm driving home I'll start relaxing, even though I didn't realize just how tense I was. I always expect a good report, but somewhere in the far reaches of my mind I suppose I fear the worst.

Finally, I'll start thinking about those I know who don't get to hear those words that I'm sure to. The women who are dealing with a recurrence or a metastasis, those who seem to be losing their fight, and especially those we've had to say goodbye to. My joy at another good report will be dimmed by the sadness for those who are not as fortunate and I'll be reminded just how horrific cancer is.

And in six months I'll do it all again.

Cross-posted at Mothers With Cancer

One Day Down...

2009-09-08T19:04:00.007-04:00

Today was the first day of the 2009/2010 preschool year. For those of you not in the know, I am the administrative assistant for my church's children's ministry department which includes our preschool. I do a lot of the paperwork to free up Leanne, the Director, to do other, more directory-type things and to help the teachers out. That's the general description of my preschool duties anyway.

My plan was to get in the shower at 7:00 this morning, leaving me enough time to eat breakfast and pack a lunch before I headed out early for work. Sookie had other plans, however.

The kids had left for school; Todd ran to Wawa for breakfast for himself, coffee for me; and the dog was outside. We have an invisible fence and I don't like leaving her outside while I'm in the shower if no one else is home so I opened the door and called her in. She spared a glance for me and then went back to whatever it was she had been doing. Stalking small children, no doubt.

After pleading and cajoling and trying to rationalize with a dog I finally had to go out to the yard to get her. Our side yard on the corner which is very visible. In my warm, pink robe and my fuzzy pink slippers.

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Go ahead. Get that picture firmly established in your head.

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So there I was, in the middle of the yard - the very dewy yard - arguing with a canine with the neighbors driving by and waving and I'm pretty sure they were laughing. At what, I have no idea. But Sookie thought I was out there to play. Because, you know, I often go out in public covered from head to toe in pink fluff.

I thought maybe I could lure her in with one of her toys. The purple ball. Yes! That's it! So I grabbed the ball and dangled it in front of her as though it was a carrot. Dangit if she's not so stealthy and quick because before I knew it she was running away with the purple ball.

Then I tried the new blue ball that she has become enamored with and taunted her with that. She stood over the purple ball and looked at the blue ball, clearly undecided as to what she should do. As she tried to make up her mind I slowly crept closer to her, careful to dodge the poop, thinking she was so confusiated that I could grab her collar and be done with it. She waited until I almost reached her and then she took off running, wanting me to chase after her. I had to disappoint her there. I rarely chase her when I'm dressed. I certainly wasn't going to chase her in my bathrobe. The neighbors had had enough entertainment for one morning.

So I stomped back to the house, muttering something about stupid dogs and showers that should have been finished by now. There were other things muttered as well, but I'm not going to share those with you because I don't want you to know the real me.

Then it happened. One of those rare flashes of genius that only come along every great once in a while. Cheese puffs. She's a hairy, four-legged cheese puff fiend. I stood on the deck, noisily opened the bag and barely got, "cheese puff" out of my mouth before she was sitting at my feet with that glazed look reserved for drug addicts jonesing for a hit. Score!

Finally I got her in the house and took my shower. I didn't have time to eat breakfast or pack my lunch, but I did get a delicious 26 oz. coffee out of the deal so I couldn't complain too much. And I made it to work on time and got everything printed and distributed and the day went pretty smoothly.

Now that I know the secret I need to keep a steady supply of cheesepuffs to keep her in her habit. Then she'll be helpless against my will. Mwahahahahahahaha....

Whidbey Island: A Photographic Tour - Island Living - Saturday: Coupeville

2009-09-02T21:22:00.051-04:00

I hope you haven't forgotten about Whidbey Island because this blogger certainly hasn't. I had only gotten through Friday in my Whidbey Island Photographic Tour series. My intention was to post all of Saturday today, but I only got through half of it. Hopefully I'll get the rest of Saturday posted this weekend. And hopefully you don't fall asleep before you get through all the photos!

There should be four bluddies in this picture, but we lost one to the alluring promise of hot coffee.

My typical view as Precious and I were usually lagging behind. There were just so many great things to photograph!

The sign says it all. And it was great food!

Italian Raspberry Soda
Cream

Italian Raspberry Cream Soda

Our uber-delicious homemade lunch: Tomato Basil soup, grilled cheese sandwich (on homemade bread) and fresh grown salad greens with homemade dressing.

Our foamy bookmark craft to keep us kiddies occupied while we waited for our yummy lunch.

HAPPY BLOGGERVERSARY

2009-08-31T21:26:00.003-04:00

Today is my three-year bloggerversary. Feel free to send flowers, balloons, chocolates, or my personal favorite - cards with money.

Thank you. And good night.

The Start of Another School Year

2009-08-30T21:30:00.002-04:00

The kids go back to school tomorrow. Taylor is a senior now and Katie a freshman. You read that right. Two kids in high school. I can't figure out when that happened. My Facebook peeps are telling me that either I blinked or turned around. Well thanks a lot, friends. Why didn't you warn me earlier?

Oh wait. You did. It's not that I didn't believe you. I guess I just thought I was blinking quicker or spinning faster so I wouldn't miss anything. Apparently that doesn't work.

I think I'll quit before this post turns maudlin. Besides, I have to go to bed so I can get up early and see the kids off to school. So I'm going to cheat and repost what I published last year at this time:

Ye Olde Tale

And it came to pass in those days that a decree was sent throughout the land stating all children shouldst return to their scholarly pursuits. And so it was the offspring of the house of Todd, garbed as was appropriate to their station, boarded the conveyance of saffron which wouldst carry them to places of learning. And thus there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth upon the carriage. But lo, the women rejoiced, singing praises to the Lord and joyfully dancing in the streets.

Ye Olde Tale, Part II

But woe to those who didst sing praises and dance joyfully in the morning, for their joy wast turned to sorrow. Though Jenster, wife of Todd, son of Phillip, was gladdened in her heart as her children departed the conveyance of saffron from whence they came, she wast overcome with despair at the multitude of scrolls those in governance over the learned places deemed she should writ her name upon. Verily, the sorrow didst continue at the command Jenster, wife of Todd, son of Phillip, shouldst make haste to the market place and thereby give a goodly sum to the merchant in exchange for bindings with which to hold the scholarly scrolls and the tools with which to document the knowledge learned by her children. Yea, though she rent her clothing, donned sackcloth and covered her person with ashes, her mourning was turned back to joy for by the next time the sun didst rise much toiling wouldst be finished so she could then enjoy the fruits of her labor.

And so it was.

Girls' Day Out

2009-08-29T19:16:00.006-04:00

Katie starts school on Monday so today we had a Girls' Day Out. What a great day it was!

First were Sunflower Spa Pedicures which were divine. We sat in massage chairs with heated pillows around our necks. Our feet received a sunflower scrub followed by a green tea mask and then wrapped in hot towels. While all that was going on we were each given a bowl of vanilla bean ice cream sprinkled with chocolate candy covered sunflower seeds. Is there any better way to start a day (after coffee, of course) than with dessert? I think not.

When the polish was dry (or mostly dry, anyway) we drove across the parking lot (because the polish wasn't completely dry) to a delicious restaurant and sat outside on the patio. We shared the most amazing tomato basil bruschetta - something we had decided on a couple of days ago. I had the French Onion Soup with about a half an inch of Gruyere on top and Katie had some sort of wrap -- not exactly sure because I was too busy enjoying my soup.

Once the check was paid we headed for the movies, but we just missed the 2:10 showing so we walked around Target for a while. Big mistake. Huge. We only needed two things. Two. We walked out with twenty or so. Hair products, toothpaste, and necessities like books, clothes, candy. Funny how you remember all the things you need when they're right in front of you. We finally realized we had to go or we were going to miss the 3:50 showing because these things we couldn't live without kept popping up.

Todd and Taylor had a Boys' Day Out very similar to ours, except no pedicure. At least that's what they said. Hold on a second...

...I was going to look at Todd's toes to make sure they hadn't been "handled" and I'm still not sure because Todd has tennis shoes on. Kind of odd if you ask me. He usually always wears flip flops in the summer. I'll have to get back to you on this one.

But I digress. The boys went to lunch (not nearly as delicious as ours, I'm sure) and then they went to the same theater to see Inglorious Basterds (which I can say without being accused of cussing because "basterds" is spelled wrong). So Katie and I parked in the same row and left a note on Todd's truck (which reminds me of another post I'm going to have to write). Then we went in and got our scrumptuals, but we had to sit on a bench outside the theater because they were still cleaning it. The benches were right next to the theater that Todd and Taylor were in. Can you guess what I did?

Nope. I wanted to. Really bad I wanted to go in, stand at the bottom and look for the boys and then wave at them. But seeing as how I AM an adult, and a responsible one at that, I refrained. Finally we were allowed in our theater and we found the perfect seats. Not too far up; not too far down; right in the middle. Perfect.

We saw Julie and Julia. Have you seen it? It was delightful. I can't think of a better word to describe it. Just delightful. If you love to eat you should see it. If you love to cook you should see it. If you love to write or if you blog, you should see it. If you're a woman or a female of some type, you should see it. If you're a guy you should see it (it's not a chick flick, just so you know). If you've ever been to Paris you should see it. If you want to go to Paris you should see it. Heck, if you have a pulse you should see it! It's just a good movie. It's just... just... delightful.

Of course part of my fanaticism could be that Todd, Taylor and I watched Defiance last night and today's movie was a complete change. Defiance is a very good movie, too, but very difficult in some spots to watch. Today's movie? Well you already know. Delightful. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.

TP Update/Foob Brilliance

2009-08-25T20:36:00.004-04:00

Remember the Great Toilet Paper Debacle of '09? I had asked Taylor to look in the hall closet upstairs to see if there was any toilet paper. I heard him open the door and I envisioned him diligently searching so I took his word for it when he said, "no". Imagine my surprise on Saturday when I found SEVEN rolls in the hall closet! Seven whole rolls just sitting there. They weren't covered by towels or blankets. They were just quietly taking up space on the shelf in plain sight!

That'll learn me.

***

Sunday morning at church I approached my friend, Gail, as she was chatting with Sarah, to ask her a question. When she saw me she hugged me and said, "I love it when you blog about your boobs!" It was quite obvious from the look on Sarah's face that she had no idea what Gail was talking about. Between the two of us we explained what the post had been about.

She considered the story for a moment and then she said, "So instead of Locks of Love, it's like Bosoms of Blessings." How brilliant is that??

Have Boobs, Will Travel

2009-08-21T19:20:00.004-04:00

The day after my mastectomy I was released from the hospital with a nearly concave left chest and a drainage tube at each end of the incision that ran from mid-chest to under my arm, stopping just short of my back. I looked like a Cyborg.

Not until I saw my surgeon ten days later and had both tubes removed was I able to get a special bra with a puff to “even things out”. Which hadn’t been such a big deal because I really wasn’t feeling wearing anything remotely nice with plastic sucky thingies protruding from my body, but I was excited when I was finally allowed to get a post-surgical bra.

I liken it to getting a training bra. It looked kind of like one and came in sizes such as small, medium, etc. The assistant in the Women’s Resource Center looked at my ta (the singular of tatas), nodded her head and said, “Medium bra, small puff”. Whatever. I couldn’t be sad about the “small puff” comment because small was better than nothing, which is what I had on the left side. I couldn’t wait to get home and put on my new bra with the insert to see how my tops looked.

Running to my room like a kid at Christmas, I practically threw off the shirt I was wearing. I had already ripped the packaging off the puff in the car and stuffed it into the convenient pocket of my new best friend. I fastened the clasp, adjusted the straps and looked in the mirror only to be totally deflated (no pun intended). The “small puff” was too big! It didn’t even me out, it just made me lopsided in the opposite direction. So I pulled out the filling until it was just about the right size. I guess that would be extra small.

The humiliation didn’t end there, though. A couple weeks later when I received my chemo-port the professional staff had to keep asking me which side I’d had my mastectomy on. Really? I chronicled that experience here (which also includes me on drugs) because if I’m going to share one embarrassing moment I might as well go the whole way.

Finally I was given the go ahead to get a real mastectomy bra and prosthesis. Barbara Graves Intimates in Little Rock is one of the few shops in the area that have mastectomy merchandise so my friend, Beth, and I decided to go into town for dinner and a boob.

Prescription in hand, we weaved our way through the beautiful lingerie that wouldn’t work well on a uniboob and found the very pleasant fit specialist. She took us to the prosthesis room with boxes and boxes of silicone blobs and asked my cup size. I didn’t want to say Almost-a-Boob so instead I came out and told her what I was thinking.

I knew I would eventually have reconstruction and was fairly certain I would have a prophylactic mastectomy at that time. If I was going to go through all that trouble you could be sure I’d be making the surgeon earn his money. So instead of matching up my right breast I wanted to see what it would be like as a larger version of me. The problem, however, is that insurance will only pay for one prosthesis if you had a single mastectomy and those puppies are expensive.

That’s when the helpful lady told me it’s very common for women to return their “breasts” after reconstruction. The foobs (fake + boobs = foobs) are then cleaned and sterilized and given to women with no insurance. So Blue Cross/Blue Shield bought a regular foob for me and Barbara Graves donated a filler foob for the other side. And a happy day it was when I could proudly stuff my bra and not feel like a fraud.

The Girls (as Beth named them) were treated very special. Every night they had to come out of their pocket, get washed and then put to bed in their cradle. Seriously, that’s what the box was called. A cradle. Sometimes they were hot and sometimes they were heavy and sometimes they misbehaved abominably - like when I went swimming at the YMCA in my new mastectomy swimsuit and the Girls decided they’d rather swim around my waist instead of stay where they were supposed to – but for the most part they were my good friends. They did their part to make me feel a little more normal than I otherwise would have. That is until late December 2006 when I put them away for the last time and had reconstruction.

We had moved to Pennsylvania six months before my reconstruction so I wasn’t able to drop the Girls off at Barbara Graves' when I happened to be out running errands. They slept peacefully in their boxes on the shelf of my closet for two-and-a-half years. And then a month ago we drove down to Arkansas for a visit.

Instead of luggage in the back of the car, we had our dog. The luggage had to go in a special travel bag on top which had to be taken off and put inside the car during our overnight stay on the way down and the way back. Along with the luggage was a bag full of mastectomy bras and camisoles and two boxes with breast prostheses in them. When we stopped on our way down the guys were taking everything out of the bag – a bit of a pain – and I heard Todd tell Taylor, “Well at least we won’t be bringing mom’s boobs home with us.” Because, you know, they were so large and unwieldy.

While on vacation my mother and I ran into Little Rock one day and I took all the mastectomy paraphernalia with me. We drove up to Barbara Graves, I walked in with all my goodies and the attendants seemed as appreciative as if I’d donated a bajillion dollars. Or maybe a couple grand. And it made me happy. Maybe now some woman with crummy or no insurance will be able to feel a little more normal than she otherwise would have.

Cross-posted at Mother's With Cancer

Toilet Paper and Laundry

2009-08-20T18:53:00.007-04:00

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news...

Never was my failure as a domestic more apparent than today. It's stinkin' hot here right now and I had no capris to wear this morning. I could have worn Bermudas but I didn't actually think that one through in the shower and, while I'm low on the pride scale, I refuse to wear shorts with furry thighs. I mean, it's bad enough that I don't have a tan. So I rocked the fashion world today. Kids' Camp t-shirt, mesh exercise pants and my Crocs. It was either that or an evening gown.

Not really. I don't own an evening gown.

Apparently I need to do laundry.

***

I usually buy toilet paper in the really big packages so we always have a lot. Always. Except for when we don't. Like this morning. We were sharing half a roll for three bathrooms. I'm not real good with math, but even I can figure out that doesn't add up. Thankfully I had to go to work and Taylor was babysitting so we could use someone else's toilet paper. I think Todd kicked Katie down to her friend's house just so he could have all the remaining squares for himself.

At lunch I ran to the grocery store in my killer outfit and bought a gallon of milk, some chicken for dinner and two very large packages of toilet paper. Each bathroom now has about 12 rolls and hopefully this will last our family for a week or two. Maybe even three. And tomorrow I'm wearing capris. Just sayin'.

Whidbey Island: A Photographic Tour - Island Living - Friday

2009-08-19T21:22:00.022-04:00

Following our adventurous morning on the beach we all kicked back at the house for a while - napping, reading, whatever - and then prepared to go into town.

I think we clean up purty good.

Gretchen drove us to the quaint town of Langley. We made dinner reservations and then explored up one side of the street and down the other.

Aren't these Monopoly streets?

This bell is to be wrung when a whale has been sighted.

Finally it was time to hasten to The Edgecliff for dinner.

Fresh cut flowers on the table.

Mussels and clams in garlic butter sauce. I actually ate a mussel. Or maybe a clam. Not sure. They pretty much look the same to me when they're nekkid.

I thought the salad was colorful and pretty. After that they brought the real food and I lost all thought for anything other than the culinary delights awaiting me so no more dinner pictures. Sorry.

Then it was back to the house for endless talking and laughing with a little bit of sniffling thrown in for good measure and a big bowl of Kellie Krack - my newest obsession. Hot, buttery popcorn with peanut M&Ms tossed in. I don't even want to know how many Weight Watcher's points we're talking about!

Next up -- a farmer's market, another charming village and a lavender farm.

Whidbey Island: A Photographic Tour - The Beach

2009-08-14T22:00:00.040-04:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I took over 1200 pictures. Some great, some horrible, most tolerable. Don't worry. I won't share them all. That would be like going to great Uncle Horace's house and watching his vacation slides. Great for insomniacs, bad for blog readers.

I am going to break them up, though. So today I give you...

THE BEACH

Our Island Abode

The view of Double Bluff from our Island Abode

The walkway to our treasures. Gretchen's husband, Big, helped build it.

Beauty on the beach

A live sand dollar

Lunch time

One of Susan's greatest finds

Kellie and His Girl taking a break from touching slimy things to get some snapshots

This is a moon snail. A big moon snail. There is nothing wrong with it. This is what a moon snail is supposed to look like. Poor little moon snail.

The girls peaking over the vastly interesting barnacle rock

Susan's crabs, not to be confused with cooties

A sampling of our beach booty

What a fun morning that was. Gretchen gave us bags to carry our finds in, but I was so busy taking photos that I only brought home three things. A sand dollar, a snail shell and a clamshell. And I don't even think I actually gathered them off the beach. I think I pilfered them from someone else's finds. But what are they going to do? Come get them?

Next tour - Island Living

The Party's Over...

2009-08-10T17:41:00.005-04:00

Last night I caught the red eye out of SeaTac for a non-stop to Philly where I landed around 7:00 this morning. Which was 4:00 AM to my Pacific Time Zone adjusted self. Thankfully I have nothing to do today other than sleep, readjust and download over 1200 pictures Precious blessed me with. Not 1200 good pictures. Just 1200 pictures. Which is taking FOR.EH.VER...

I had the complete joy of getting together with four of the most amazing women this past weekend. Jewels in My Crown, LVCG, His Girl and CPQ. Seriously incredible girls and they let ME hang out with them in a beach house on Whidbey Island that Jewels in My Crown graciously shared with us.

We laughed so much my stomach hurt. There were a lot of perilously-close-to-peeing-our-pants moments. We also cried a little here and there as we shared the less than joyous situations we've found ourselves in -- we all have a story -- but those tears nearly always turned into the happy tears that come from witnessing God's kindness and mercy through those difficult times.

The island was beautiful and the weather perfect. While the tide was out we scoured the shoreline for sand dollars and shells and found crabs and sea snails (disgusting) and barnicals and all sorts of interesting things. We explored a couple of charming towns with their quaint shops, ate delicious food - both at the house and in town - mosied through a farmer's market and strolled through the sweet smelling lavendar farm.

Yesterday we snapped pictures of the original Starbuck's and waited around to see fish being thrown at Pike's Market, but the best we got to see was a package of crab being thrown and impressively caught by a guy while holding a steaming cup of coffee. Sadly we had to take LVCG to the airport fairly early and then the rest of us returned to Seattle to explore some more.

Finally it was time to come home. I was happy to get home to the family, but I would be lying if I said I was ready for the weekend to be over. It was the type of get away that was absolutely perfect. I honestly can't think of anything that would have made it better. Except another week or so.

Like usual, there's so much more to the weekend. I've just glossed over the highlights, but I still have about 800 pictures to continue downloading so this will have to do for now. So much to blog... so little time.

A Little Teaser

2009-08-04T18:21:00.004-04:00

We arrived home from our trip to Arkansas Sunday night and I'm leaving again in the morning for a short girls' weekend out west. When I get back and have my bearings I'll tell you all about both trips. In the meantime, here are a couple of collages of things we saw while on the road. All the pictures were taken through the car window while traveling. If you click on the collage it will zoom in so you can see the pictures better. Enjoy!!

And Away We Go...

2009-07-24T21:48:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow morning we're loading up the car and heading out for a 19 hour drive through six states. Road trips aren't anything new to us, but we have the new dynamic of taking the dog with us this time. Now some of you might be saying to yourself (and not for the first time), "Are you crazy?" My answer to you is a resounding YES!, but that has nothing to do with the road trip.

We're headed to Arkansas for a week to visit my folks. I wish we had the time to see everyone there is to see, but we just won't be able to manage it this trip. It would take us a good two to three weeks, I think! And even then we probably wouldn't get to spend enough time with those we want to. Hopefully next time we'll catch up with those we miss this time.

I don't know how much internet time I'm going to have while we're gone so there's no telling when I'll be back. But I hope to have lots of pictures and even better stories!!

So until the next time...

Where's A Drill Sergeant When I Need One?

2009-07-22T18:58:00.007-04:00

You may recall I wrote about Losing Weight And Other Inconveniences back at the beginning of June. In this self-prophesying post I mentioned I would be down a size by the end of July. I forgot to tell you, however, that I was talking about July 2010. Which is a good thing because there's only one week left of July 2009 and it's not EVEN gonna happen.

We're getting ready for our vacation and I went to the outlets today to get a few more clothing items. Oh my, did I ever see such cute clothes. I coveted crops, capris and camies. I drooled over dresses and denim. I swooned over skirts, shirts and even sweats. I was bewitched by blouses, bermudas and yes, brassieres. I admired activewear and longed for loungewear. I yearned for -- well, you get the idea. Not only were the clothes appealing to me, the end of summer sales were enticing as well. I could have gone crazy.

But...

Clothes for those of us with more to love are so limited. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired that there isn't more of a selection for the ultracurvy and I'm tired of being ultracurvy.

For a good while there I could rationalize the extra weight. Surgery, chemo, medications, more surgeries and more medications... it was understandable that I had gained so much. It's been two years, however, since my last surgery. I have no excuses anymore. Yes, it's harder than it used to be for a couple very real reasons, but it's not impossible.

I've decided I need a drill sergeant with me at all times. Someone to yell at me and call me "grunt" or "boot licker" for those moments of weakness. When I choose to watch TV instead of going for a walk. When I reach for the ice cream or those infernal cow tails that have me under their spell. When I drink too much coffee and not enough water.

Obviously my own misery isn't enough motivation. Nor are all the pictures I keep being tagged in on Facebook. Those that when I see them I gasp and think, "Oh my gosh. I don't really look like that, do I?" The ones that crumble the delusions of my imagination.

I would ask Todd to be my drill sergeant, but no good could come of that. I would just get angry at him for being so mean to me and then he'd just feel bad and go to the store and buy me a box of Goobers and probably Starbucks for a venti White Chocolate Mocha with extra whip.

What's the point right now, though? I'm off for almost two weeks of vacation and I'm certainly not going to be all that good. I'll start up fresh the second week in August. Maybe by that time I'll have found someone to yell at me without making me mad. And by July 2010 I'll be shopping for the modestly curvy!

My Work Here Is Done...

2009-07-21T21:04:00.003-04:00

Katie's friend, Devon, is spending the night tonight. Todd and Taylor are watching yet another ~~painful~~ baseball game and frankly I'm all baseballed out. So before Devon got here I told Katie that I would come down to the basement with them.

Me: We can watch a good movie and I'll sit in between you guys and I'll text my friends while you're texting your friends and we can do each others' hair and it will be so much fun!

Katie: Um, no.

Devon gets here, says hello to the rest of us and the girls head for the basement.

Me: You girls go on down. I'll be there in a minute. Then we can watch "High School Musical, III" and talk about how cute Zac Efron and Corbin Bleu are while we do our nails!

Katie: Um, no.

I then sit down to play on the computer while the boys watch the ~~incredibly boring~~ baseball game and decide to text Katie downstairs.

My Text: Hey. What's up?

From the bowels of the house we hear, "Stop texting me!"

Meanwhile...

Todd's Text: Tell Devon I said, "Hello".

When he didn't hear any reply Taylor called her on his cell phone.

Katie: What do you want?!

Taylor: Dad wanted you to tell Devon hello.

Katie: I know! I got his text!

Taylor: Okay. That's all.

The sad thing about all this is how highly enjoyable I found it. I suppose I should get a life, but it's these simple things that make this existence so entertaining.

Just Keepin' Her Humble

2009-07-05T21:19:00.003-04:00

God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.

Matthew 5:5 (New Living Translation)

As most everybody who reads this knows, being a parent is hard work. We're responsible for so much. There are the basics like feeding, clothing, safety, health, etc. That's the easy part. The hard part is building character. I mean, we're going to build some kind of character regardless. The challenge is what type of character.

Tonight I did my best to instill a humble spirit in my daughter. She sang harmony in the band at church tonight and rock star status can have a detrimental effect on one's ego. Not only that, but her stage presence was suffering. So I stood in the back with two friends, Stacey and Darlene, and danced for a reaction. I would say I was getting my praise on, but I don't think my movements screamed "Moved by the Spirit" in any form or fashion. What the three of us accomplished was getting her to crack up so much that she couldn't even sing. Which leaves her with a humble spirit. Or humiliated spirit. Is there a difference?

To add ~~insult to injury~~ to the lesson, Katie and I were both wearing jeans and a green t-shirt. Not on purpose, either. But when a high schooler is dressed like her mommy - well, not so cool.

Yea, how didst thy delight in thine offspring's mortification?
With great leaping and joy, sayeth Jenster.

From the Book of Jenster

Did You Know...

2009-07-04T23:01:00.002-04:00

...there are muscles that run down the back of your thighs? Oh yes there are. And do you know how I know this? I weeded off and on all day yesterday. Now instead of gracefully sitting down on the couch I stand in front of it, bend over slightly at the waist, rock back on my heels and fall back, wincing at the searing pain in the back of my legs as I go. I'm such a wimp.

WHASSUP????

2009-07-03T14:11:00.007-04:00

How is everybody? It seems like it's been forever since I chatted with any of you. Apparently I can't be a wife, mom, friend, employee and blogger all at the same time. Something's gonna hafta give.

I vote it's the mom part. My sole intention of having kids was so that they could keep my house clean and do my bidding and they're not doing a very good job of that. Although they did go to the store last night for Double Stuffed Oreos. There is that. But is that really enough??? I dunno.

My whole family has been through some head cold thing in the last couple of weeks. Taylor started us off a week before he and Katie were going to Michigan for Christ in Youth. By the time they left he was feeling much better, but Todd was sick. Then Monday morning I get a call from Katie in Michigan and SHE was sick. (Don't tell anyone because I don't want to mess up my reputation as a soulless mom, but it made me so sad that my baby was so far away, all alone in a dorm room and sick! I wanted to drive right over there and get her!) She's a toughie, though, and ended up having a great time there. I thought I had escaped...

...until Sunday night. My throat hurt, my ears were plugged, I was snotty. Shoot!! Monday and Tuesday were miserable with a low grade fever and sheer exhaustion. All I could think of was how did Katie ever manage. By Wednesday I was back to work and felt pretty good, but the fatigue from this fairly mild cold is insane! I've been trying to weed today and I don't get very far before I'm so tired I'm shaking. Or maybe it's just my aversion to weeding. Maybe a combination... Whatever.

In a little less than two weeks our church will be putting on Kids' Camp Galaxy - a free community event and we're expecting over 1,000 kids. Talk about a lot of work! I'm fairly heavily involved because of my position as the administrative assistant to Valley Kids, the children's ministry department. But folks, let me tell you something. I am in awe of these people who put this on every year. The creativity, the organization, the drama, the games, the lessons - these people put their everything into making this an outstanding event every.single.summer. And what's even more incredible to me is that they do it because of how much they care about children. I mean seriously care and want to make a difference in their lives! (I know what you're thinking. Why the heck do these people let Jen work with them?? Some mysteries will never be solved.) All kidding aside, it's very exciting to watch all this come together from the inside.

Well friends. I really have to go to the grocery store. Can I just take this opportunity to tell you how much I despise grocery shopping? I remember when the kids were young and the first time in what seemed like an eternity I got to go to the store by myself it was the coolest thing ever! Now I practically beg them to come with me so they can take half the list, but they always have plans. How convenient for them. I think their plans should include cleaning up the kitchen!!

So after all this griping about weeds and kids is it wrong of me to shamelessly plug the next post on Trippin' Through The Bible?? Whether it is or not, I'm going to anyway.

TTTB - Genesis 4

2009-06-27T22:13:00.004-04:00

Trippin' Through The Bible has a new home. Now that I finally have said home set up the way I like it (for now, anyway) I hope to be more consistent in posting. If not it will take several years to get through the entire Bible!

You can click on the button for a quick trip over there.

Please stop by if you have a minute, look around, answer a discussion question or just say hello. I'd love a visit!

How Do I Love Thee, Church? Let Me Count The Ways...

2009-06-24T21:55:00.004-04:00

Now that school is out we're gearing up for Kids' Camp and Stretch at CCV. Kids' Camp is for kids 4-years-old through 6th grade and Stretch is for 6th through 8th graders.

There's a lot I could say about these events; how much fun the kids have, what great lessons they learn, all the work that goes on behind the scenes to make them excellent, the awesome volunteers, the incredible creativity -- but instead I'll just show you. These are videos from last summer's Kids' Camp and Stretch. Enjoy!

2008 Kids' Camp BIG Top from CHRIST'S CHURCH OF THE VALLEY on Vimeo.

2008 STRETCH Full Circle from CHRIST'S CHURCH OF THE VALLEY on Vimeo.

Making Memories

2009-06-20T13:04:00.008-04:00

Friday was one of those days I'll remember for a very long time. The kind of day that wasn't terribly uncommon when the kids were younger - back when we could say, We're going to go see this movie or hike that trail or go on a picnic, or whatever and the announcement would be met with enthusiasm and anticipation. These days, however, trying to find a movie or an activity we can all agree on has proven nearly impossible. Turns out 17-year-old boys don't like the same things 14-year-old girls like and neither of them care for what mom and dad prefer.

Todd and I both had Friday off and the forecast didn't call for a speck of rain, a rarity these days. So we jumped in the car and took off for North Wales where we started our adventure with a great lunch at Chili's - the kids' choice. Down the street from the restaurant we played miniature golf, swung bats in the batting cages, raced each other on the Go-Kart track and just generally had a ton of fun.

In fact the good times started on Thursday. Just hanging out together, eating together, playing together, watching movies together. A lot of "together". And I've cherished every second of it. Today after church the kids left for a Christian teen conference for a week.

How is it Taylor only has one year of high school left? He's much closer to being a man than a kid. When did that happen? And why does Katie have to be a freshman in the fall? My baby will be in the same place as my firstborn before I've had a chance to catch my breath. And then what?

It used to be they were dependent on me for their fun. I was at home with them from the time they were very small and I enjoyed playing with them. The pool, the zoo, an easy hiking trail, the water park, etc. In fact, sometimes they were my excuse to get to do something fun like the science museum or the newest Disney movie.

When the weather was cold I would brew a pot of tea, make some shortbread and set the table nicely for an after school snack. During summer rains we would camp in the living room, eat Popsicles on the front porch and sometimes even play in the rain. One year we had a pretty good snow, but both kids were sick and couldn't get out to play in it. So Todd and I loaded up a big bowl with snow and let the kids build little igloos and castles on cookie sheets in the kitchen.

Trips to the park, swinging into the swimming hole on an old rope, the weekly stop at the library, camping with just us or friends, pulling them in the double wagon, reading in the hallway while a storm raged outside, cuddling on the couch and watching the latest Disney release...

My mind has been filled with these precious memories and my heart with a mixture of sadness that those days are long gone and a joy at the prospect of what these children are becoming. Sometimes I wish we could jump in a time machine and go back to those treasured moments. But at the same time I love the people they're growing into and enjoy when we do get to hang out together.

I am thankful to God beyond measure that Todd and I have good relationships with our teenagers and that sometimes they like spending time with us. I'm also thankful for the friendships they have with other great teenagers, the majority of whom share the same values, morals and take their faith seriously. It's no myth that friends make the person.

There is almost an urgency to spend as much time with them as I possibly can because it seems very limited. At the same time, however, I'm thrilled they both have the opportunity to go away this week and pray not only for their safety, but also for their spiritual growth.

When your kids are little you hear time and time again, "Enjoy them while you can because they're grown in the blink of an eye." Well I have enjoyed them from the very beginning and it does seem as though I've just blinked. The night before Taylor started kindergarten I laid in bed and cried because, "Tomorrow is kindergarten, then it will be college and before you know it he'll be married and living somewhere else." A little dramatic, yes (and Todd does still tease me about it) but not so far fetched.

This evening we had another break in the rain so I took Sookie to the park for a long walk. Families with little ones were out in abundance, making those bittersweet memories even sharper. I wanted to call out the above cliche to make those parents understand how fleeting this beautiful part of life is. But it's not something you can truly grasp until you're at the other end.

So Friday we played miniature golf and stopped keeping score after the 12th hole. We swung bats in the batting cages - my first time since the great breast cancer debacle of '05 (and I can still smack a ball). We drove Go-Karts and I managed to spin Taylor, run him into a wall and stall him. But mostly we just had fun and made a few more memories to add to the stack.

Smooth Talkin' Brady

2009-06-17T21:02:00.004-04:00

This is what happens when you leave your puppy at her BFF's while you're gone.

Losing Weight And Other Inconveniences

2009-06-10T21:21:00.006-04:00

As you might know, I've been on Weight Watchers for a month or so now and I'm having success. Very sssslllloooowwwww success, but success nonetheless. I'll do really well counting my points for a week or so and then there's this party and that picnic and another get together and the points go to pot. But the weight is still on it's way down and not up - so while I prefer the 1.5 pound a week loss, I'll take .5 over nothing.

I'm in a bit of a pickle right now, though. My pants are starting to get a tad bit big. Which is great! But the next size down (and I have a closet full) is still more tight than I'm comfortable with. Which means I really need to watch the points and be sure to get my exercising in so I can get back into the next size down. Which also means Katie needs to stop baking yummables like the french vanilla cupcakes with double chocolate chip frosting she made tonight. So what if I bought the stuff for her to make it? I thought I had more willpower, but the smell was so delicious I couldn't stop myself from eating one very small cupcake. Or maybe two. But they were small!

Yesterday was a joyous food day for me. You know how I was late getting to work because of all the running around I had to do before my morning really even started, right? Well I grabbed a Fiber One bar and my coffee on the way out, but totally forgot to take something for lunch. Since I was late getting in I didn't really feel like leaving to get something and I just worked through lunch. Katie was on her field trip and Todd was in Tulsa so it was only Taylor and me for dinner. At 3:00 I texted him and asked what he wanted for dinner. He said Chick-Fil-A. For myself I ordered a charcoal grilled chicken wrap with fat free honey mustard and a small Cookies N' Cream milkshake. And I went to bed with two points to spare! I don't recommend foregoing lunch all the time, but it's worth it for one of those treats every now and again!!

Today I did okay - not great, but not terrible. And I did get a fairly decent walk in. Tomorrow, however, is another day. Another chance for me to do great! I WILL be in that next size by the end of June! Oh wait. That's only two more weeks. Hmph. That might be pushing it. How about by the end of July!! Yeah. That's the ticket!

Blame It On The Rain

2009-06-09T17:43:00.005-04:00

Or O' What A Terrible Morning.

O' what a terrible morning
O' what a horrible day
I've got a wonderful feeling
Nothing is going my way

[An appropriate song considering Todd is in Tulsa. If you don't get the connection then you either: One) don't live in America; B) have not been exposed to the great musical classics; or THIRD) ...I got nuthin. Just One or B.]

The morning started out pretty good. I got up around 6:35 so I could hang out with Taylor for about ten minutes, give or take, before he left for school. Katie made a small pot of coffee for me and we turned on the news to catch the weather. The entire eighth grade had a field trip to Dorney Park - an amusement/water park in Allentown - and yesterday's news forecasted some pretty wild stuff today.

Taylor left for the bus stop and it was pretty cloudy out, but no sign of precipitation. I figured I could jump in the shower after he left and be out in time to drive Katie and Shelby to the corner if the storm hit. But just then the jovial meteorologist came on and showed the line of severe thunderstorms with almost constant lightening strikes headed our way - the worst of which was scheduled to hit our area in four more minutes.

Now, as you all know, I lived in the South for 18 years. I don't mind a good thunderstorm now and then. In fact I kind of like them. But there are two things I won't do when we're in the middle of a cluster of lightening. I won't talk on the phone and I won't do anything with water. And I AM a girl which means my showers last more than four minutes. So I decided I'd wait to take my shower until after I took the girls to the bus stop.

The weatherman was true to his word and at 6:52 the skies opened up, complete with a spectacular fireworks display and a grand bass drum concert. I had my coffee and was snuggled into the oversized chair while we watched the weather when Katie decided she needed to sit with me. So there we both were, stuffed into the chair while Sookie wandered around the living room anxiously. Finally she just sank down in her crate, watching Katie and me from her safe place.

We sat like that for nearly 30 minutes until it was time to go get Shelby and wait for the bus. Thankfully by then the storm had settled down some - no lightening right overhead, anyway. The bus was late and when it showed up the girls jumped out of the car and I sped the half a block home so I could hit the shower.

But before I could get in the shower Katie texted me because I forgot to give her the money I told her I would. It wasn't like I could just drop it off on my way to work because they would be leaving for Dorney Park before I could get there. *sigh* My shower was going to have to be put on hold again. Then I got another text, this time from Taylor, asking if I could bring him a t-shirt, socks and another pair of shoes because he was drenched. Apparently he had gotten a ride from his friend, Josh, up the street. That was really nice. Except for the fact that Josh's parking space (they're assigned) is across the street from the high school - almost to Katie's school. They had to run from there to the high school in the pouring rain, hence the soaked clothing.

Off came my jammy bottoms and on came a pair of knit exercise Capri's. I kept the tank top and light sweatshirt on, slipped on my flip flops, ran a hand through my hair and took off. First to drop off Katie's money and then to drop off dry clothes for Taylor. I was looking hawt! Really. I'm sure the kids are glad none of the students who saw me associated me with my offspring.

I got home, let out the dog and sent an email to my ladies at work so they would know I was going to be late. Sookie came in and followed me upstairs - me into the bathroom and she into my sitting room to sniff around. Except when I then walked into the sitting room I saw that she hadn't been sniffing around. She'd been peeing! On my carpet! That's just weird. She never pees in the house. What's up with that??? I obviously had to clean it up before I could get in the shower and I began to question if I'd ever make it to work. My enjoyable morning had quickly slid downhill.

But I did make it to work and it was delightful. The last couple of weeks have been crazy hectic - I'll have to tell you about it in the next day or two. Today, however, was great. I had plenty to do, but I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I feel like I accomplished more today than I have in a while - probably because it was a lot of little things that I could check off my list. Ahhhh...

I just hope tomorrow morning runs a little smoother.

The Evolution of Sookie

2009-06-08T20:39:00.017-04:00

Friday was a cool and rainy day. I spent the day doing work work and house work and drying off Sookie after she'd spent ten minutes or so outside in the wet and muddy yard. As I came out of the laundry room this is where I found her.

She was just chillin in one of her favorite spots where she can survey all her minions. Trying to look all nonchalant and all, I could tell there was something going on in that puppy brain of hers.

What?

That's an interesting spot on the floor down there.

Later she followed me into my room while I dumped a basket of clean towels onto the bed and filled it with the next load to be washed. Usually she follows me back out, but after I'd gone downstairs and filled the washer I realized she wasn't there. So I went back upstairs to my room.

Did I mention it was a rainy day?

Or that our yard was wet and muddy?

Or even that the towels were clean?

Apparently my less than gentle rebuke and the photo session wore her out. Because this is where she ended up after I chased her out of my room.

It's a rough life.

Turning a Corner

2009-06-02T22:48:00.005-04:00

It's nearly 11:00 and I really should be in bed, but I had to tell you this!

After about a week of restless sleeping, last night was great. I slept like a rock! But it made it very difficult to get up this morning. A couple hours of consciousness and two cups of coffee didn't make much of a dent in the heavy fog that enveloped me.

As I went about my day I kept thinking there was something significant about today - June 2nd. A tickle in the back of my mind which I just attributed to the mental sludge I waded though. There's a lot going on at work right now - two weeks of preschool camps; gearing up for Kids' Camp; services starting up in the new building this Sunday - I decided it was the organized chaos of the many activities.

And then I received the following text message from my friend, Beth:

Cancer sucks. Remembering your first chemo tx. I'm so glad it's behind you. You are a champion, my friend... Love you bunches.

That was it!! That's what I was forgetting to remember. Four years ago today I had my first chemotherapy treatment. This is the first time in that four years I haven't thought about or even remembered what was then a myriad of significant dates related to my cancer.

It may not seem like a big thing, but to me it's huge. Poor Beth felt bad for reminding me, but I'm glad she did. It felt good to realize I had forgotten just why June 2nd was significant. I'm no longer a cancer patient, I haven't been for a long time. But it's only been the last nine months or so that I've actually felt like something other than a breast cancer survivor. Today only served to prove to myself I'm really moving on.

Oh, and Beth. I love you bunches, too!!

Cross-posted at Mothers with Cancer

New York, New York

2009-05-25T09:51:00.016-04:00

I have created a picture history of my day yesterday. I wasn't comfortable taking Precious with me and I don't have a small, pocket camera so I got all these pictures on-line.

First Katie and I had to drive through You-Know-Where. For some reason the car won't make the trek without a Venti White Chocolate Mocha of some kind. Weird, isn't it? I chose the iced version due to the blechy heat.

Jill (the GPS) and I had a failure to communicate and she took us some crazy way to Weehawken, but we got there in a decent amount of time so I'm not holding any hard feelings against her. Besides, Saturday I made a "Chick's Road Trip" playlist and we weren't in a huge rush so it was all good.

Finally we pulled into a parking spot at Port Imperial where we boarded a ferry for the eight minute ride across the Hudson.

This is what we saw when we got off the ferry.

No, not "On The Town". Wrong play. It was Fleet Week in New York City and there were Navy persons everywhere.

We hopped on the free bus to 8th Avenue and 42nd street and found our way to a hole in the wall deli for a light lunch of chicken noodle soup and a salad. From there we scoped out the theater, but with more than an hour to kill it was decided ice cream was a necessity. The streets were insanely crowded, but we would not be daunted. Pushing and winding our way through the masses of Times Square, an ice cream shop was located where we refreshed and fortified ourselves for the push and wind back to the theater.

The reason for a trip into Manhattan was to see "Guys and Dolls" on Broadway.

Sky Masterson was played by Craig Bierko, an actor you've probably seen around. For what it's worth, I enjoyed him much more than Marlon Brando in the movie.

Nathan Detroit was played by Oliver Platt who was Porthos in one of my favorite movies - The Three Musketeers (1993).

But the highlight for Katie and me was the part of Adelaide played by Lauren Graham, otherwise known as Lorelei Gilmore on The Gilmore Girls.

The play was delightful and Katie and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. I do wish there was a Theater Etiquette Exam people had to pass before they were allowed inside, though. For example, if you resemble a door and you sit in front of a much less door-like person, please don't keep leaning this way and that. And if you are married to a door-like person, please don't rest your head on his shoulder and kiss him during the play when there is a person sitting behind you who is infinitely more interested in the action on the stage. Just sayin'.

Every time we go to Time Square Katie wants to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. So can you guess where we went after leaving the theater?

Because food is such a large part of our New York City experience we decided to split an appetizer of potato skins and Katie's favorite HRC dish, Twisted Macaroni and Cheese and Roasted Chicken. "Why did you split the meal?", you may be asking. Why, so we would still have room to split a piece of cheesecake from Maxie's, of course.

To decide on a piece of cheesecake I had Katie pick three and she chose Chocolate Marble, Oreo and Cookies & Cream. Next I chose two of the three - Oreo and Cookies & Cream. So Katie got to make the final pick. She chose Chocolate Marble. As usual, I forgot to take the picture with my phone until after we'd each gotten a taste.

I don't think she truly got the gist of the game, but whatever. We weren't able to finish the cold, creamy, chocolaty deliciousness, but we made a valiant effort.

Alas, the theater had been attended, Hard Rock Cafe had been frequented and Maxie's cheesecake had been consumed. We had accomplished everything we'd set out to so we headed back for home. By the time we got to the car it was nearly 9:00. There had been storms between our house and New York and we could see lightening in the distance. Thankfully we skirted the storms, but we did drive through a lot of patchy fog which slowed us down a little.

You may know that I love old cemeteries. There are some around here with tombstones dating back to the 1600's and I find them fascinating. During the day. Driving by dark and foggy cemeteries on a deserted country road, however? Not so much. This is the creepiest foggy cemetery picture I could find on-line, but it doesn't do the true creepiness factor justice.

We finally pulled into the garage around 11:00 last night. Now we can't wait to go back!

What's The Haps?

2009-05-20T20:29:00.003-04:00

Hello Friends. How's it with you? Things are going well around here. I'm just chillin', watching American Idol (I don't care who wins - I like both Kris and Adam and think they're both going to go far regardless of tonight's outcome) and I can't believe it's been two weeks since I posted. I have become so delinquent in my blogging. And it's not like I don't have anything to blog about. I've just changed up my priorities a little and for some reason blogging has fallen a few notches. And Trippin' Through The Bible is on hold for a short period of time while we do a little switcheroo on the CLEAR site. I'm having a ball with that, though!

So what's been going on. Well, Taylor and Kristen went to Prom last Saturday. The dance was in the ballroom of a Valley Forge hotel and afterwards the high school had a post prom party from 11:00 PM to 5:00 AM. Taylor got home about 5:15 Sunday morning. What a great thing for the kids, though! It's a well supervised all night party with movies and games and inflatables and raffles - Taylor won four movie tickets and Kristen won a $50.00 Wawa giftcard. And mom and dad don't have to worry about where their kid is. The chaperones even call the parents if the kids don't show up when they're supposed to or if they leave early. Good times.

I've been walking. And walking. And walking some more. Sookie's loving it! Sunday afternoon she and I walked for about an hour at Valley Forge. Oh my goodness. It was so beautiful and the walk was extremely pleasant. I could have kept walking, but I had to get the car back home for the kids to go to youth group. I should probably be walking right this very minute, but I'm not. Oh well.

Do you have any plans for the long weekend?? I do and I'm excited! Friday and Saturday Todd and I will be going on more long walks - either on one of our awesome trails around here or back at Valley Forge. Our friends, Stan and Betsy, are coming for some grilled burgers Friday night so that will be fun. The kids have plans on Saturday so I've talked Toddy into taking me to see a movie. We haven't been to a movie in ages - it's going to be like a date or something! Sunday Katie and I are going to NYC to see Guys and Dolls on Broadway, including lunch at Hard Rock Cafe (her favorite) and then down to SoHo for a light dinner before coming home. Monday will be another long walk somewhere pretty. Right now I'm thinking it's good to be me!!

I started Weight Watchers AGAIN a few weeks ago. It seems to be doing a little something. Even my Wee Fit Mii shrunk a little. Not enough, mind you. But a little. I had a "come to Jesus" with the clothes in my closet the other day. If you've been around for a while you may remember this example for illustration purposes. Let's say I'm currently a size 4. I have several size 2 clothes and even some size 0 clothes in my closet. So I started telling the size 2s that I'll be wearing them this summer and that by fall I'll be wearing the size 0s. That's my plan, anyway.

Can I talk about TV for a minute? (That was a rhetorical question because yes, I CAN talk about TV for a minute. In fact, this is my blog and I can talk about anything I want to and I want to talk about TV.) There are a couple of shows that I have come to adore. First there's Chuck. We love Chuck. We were a little worried it was going to get cancelled, but the powers that be have decreed it shall continue next season. Next there's Castle. Have you seen this show? It's so much fun!! Seriously - it's kind of like a charming version of CSI. Thankfully it has been renewed for next season, too!! And finally, Glee. Last night was the Preview Episode and it sucked Katie and I right in. Sadly we have to wait until the fall to watch the series.

Okay. A person can only handle so much random in one night. I'm signing off, now. By the way - I'm thoroughly enjoying American Idol tonight. Lot's of great performers and performances. I'm glad it's going to be over, though. Because not only can a person only handle so much random, a person can only handle so much Paula.

So until the next time - stay cool!!

My Rock Star

2009-05-07T08:03:00.002-04:00

Sunday night Katie sang lead on one of the songs at Youth Group. One of the tech guys (Thanks Flitter!!) graciously taped it for us on his own camera and made a YouTube video for us. The sound isn't premium, but it's not horrible. Sadly, Taylor is playing guitar stage left but he's not in the video. That will have to wait for another time.

So now, without further ado, I give you Katie, singing "Mighty To Save"

Tales (Or Tails) of a Suburban Dog

2009-05-06T20:00:00.008-04:00

A week or so ago Todd was cutting Sookie's nails when she jerked her left front paw and he clipped her dewclaw. It bled quite a bit, but he was able to get it staunched. Pretty soon she went outside to play, running around and just being her usual puppyish self. Unfortunately she started bleeding again and this time we couldn't get it stopped. So we took her to the vet and made it with just minutes to spare before after hours emergency fees. They took her in the back and she came out with her pretty little green-wrapped foot.

When we brought her home Todd sprayed the wrapping with bitter apple spray so she wouldn't chew on it. She loathes that stuff and does a little hyper freak out when she smells it, but she doesn't chew on whatever is sprayed.

The next morning when we took it off she was as good as new AND she had forgiven Todd!

***

Do you know what this is?

Or this?

I'll tell you what it is. It's tiger slipper guts! Poor little tiger slipper was totally eviscerated by our vicious, stuffing-hungry hound.

That's what Taylor gets for leaving his door open.

***

Last year we had a cute little brown bunny living under our shed. This year that cute little brown bunny is a cute big brown bunny and it likes to taunt Sookie. She goes absolutely nuts because she can see the bunny sitting in front of the shed but she can't get to it. The way she barks and carries on with her hackles raised to attention you'd think it's the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (Run away! Run away!) Or maybe a rogue cottontail from Night of the Lepus.

TTTB - Genesis 2 - 3

2009-05-05T08:18:00.001-04:00

Got the next one up --

Happy Cancerversary To Me

2009-05-03T09:43:00.003-04:00

I posted this over at Mothers With Cancer and I figured, "Hey! Why not post it here, too?"

Today marks the four year anniversary of my survivorship. Everybody seems to have differing ideas of when that starts, but my family has always considered the day I had the cancer removed from my body as the day I became a survivor. So I awoke to eight red and four pink roses.

I still have times when I mourn what I've lost or get angry at how my body has aged with stiffness and arthritis, but those emotions come less and less. The events of four years ago seem surreal, almost no big deal at times. Funny how my husband never sees it that way.

But while my body has healed and my life has moved past the crisis, my head hit a little glitch. I found myself in a perpetual funk that I couldn't seem to shake. I'd never dealt with clinical depression and had always been able to pull myself out of the pit we all find ourselves in from time to time. But this time there was no escaping. I finally accepted that I was probably depressed.

When I explained my lack of interest and blase' attitude to my doctor she acknowledged what I had already figured out. Not a bad depression - it wasn't affecting my relationships (much) or my work - but a depression nonetheless. I told her how ridiculous it is when everything is so much better than it was just a couple of years ago. I wasn't depressed then, why should I be depressed now? Easy, she said. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was in survival mode for so long, doing what I had to do, that now I have the time to be depressed (Greatly paraphrased here.)

I'm now on the very mildest of antidepressants and it seems to be doing the trick. I've started slowly shedding the pounds I gained with treatment and the following medical issues I had. My life is about all sorts of things other than cancer and my husband and I are training to do the Philadelphia 3Day in October.

I finally feel more like a thriver and not just a survivor!

Taylor is Driving (me crazy)

2009-05-02T16:17:00.008-04:00

Since Thursday was his birthday I didn't figure it would be very nice to tell on him. But now that we've moved passed the special day I can give you the scoop as it relates to him driving.

In March he went to take his driving test. The first thing he had to do was parallel park. He failed the test as soon as his tire hit the curb. So about two weeks later we tried it again.

That time his parallel parking was spot on so he continued on with the exam. Across the parking lot, right turn onto the side street, right turn at the light onto the main road, right turn into the parking lot, and pull into a space. But as he was turning right onto the main road he followed the drivers in front of him into the left hand lane and he failed.

Two weeks later we tried it again. Third time's a charm, right?? Wrong! This time his parallel parking was a thing of beauty. But supposedly when the instructor told him to pull out he backed up and hit the back barrel. Taylor swears he didn't and as many times as he'd practiced the maneuver I'm a little skeptical myself. But whatever. Whether he did or didn't wasn't the point. The point was the instructor said he did and that's all that counts. So once again - failed before he ever left the parking lot.

A week ago yesterday (Friday) we went back for his fourth try. I drove to the license center and pulled up to the familiar waiting area. As I was pulling up Taylor got all the paperwork ready, including getting my driver's license out of my wallet. We switched places and the Hippy Instructor Guy (HIG)came walking up, requesting registration, insurance, Taylor's permit and my license. Taylor handed him the registration, the insurance, his permit and -- oh wait! He no longer had possession of my license. So we both get out of the car to look for it and HIG is looking on the ground; meanwhile cars start pulling up behind us for their tests. Finally I asked if we should just pull over and look for it so he can get on with the business of testing.

It was honestly ridiculous. Taylor had just had my license so we knew it had to be somewhere in the car. I started thinking I was going to have to replace my license when I eventually felt it way under the passenger seat. So we got back into line, bummed out that we were no longer the first but the fourth.

Finally the guy walks up, pleased we found my license, I go into the building and they go off to test. I couldn't see where they test the parallel parking, but I watched them drive down the hill and through the parking lot instead of parking. Whew! He passed the parallel parking.

Ten minutes later or so they come walking in, both faces unreadable. This is the conversation:

HIG: How many times have you practiced parallel parking?

Taylor: More times than I can count.

HIG: Then why didn't you use the turn signal when you were pulling in or out?

Taylor: (Face falling while my heart is sinking) I know I turned it on to park. I may have forgotten it when I pulled out though. (I think he should get props for being honest.)

HIG: You may have put the signal on to park and it clicked off when you turned the wheel, but you should have turned it back on.

Taylor: (Looking more and more dejected while I just wanted to cry) Maybe that's what happened.

HIG: You did fine with the actual parking and you were good about using your signals while you were driving, but you really have to be diligent about using them when you're parking.

Taylor: Yes, sir.

HIG: (To me) You do know what this means, Young Lady? (Okay. So I kind of liked that he called me young lady.)

Me: (Blank look.)

HIG: Your insurance is about to go up.

Me: (To Taylor while breaking into a huge grin) Do you get it?

Taylor: (Suddenly smiling) Yes.

HIG: Congratulations, son. You did a fine job. Just remember to use your signals all the time.

Taylor: Okay.

Whew! We were both so relieved. I honestly don't know what either one of us would have done if he'd failed a fourth time. It doesn't even bear thinking on!

Wednesday night he took the car to Student Leadership and then from there he drove to the church for band practice. I told him the tank was fairly low, gave him my gas card and told him to fill up. Todd drove Katie over to the church for band practice and then Taylor drove them both home.

Thursday morning I wrote the somewhat mushy post to commemorate his birthday, filled with warm fuzzies and nostalgia and all that tripe. Then I left for work in a car with NO GAS. No more warm fuzzies. No more nostalgia. Only tripe! I was seriously worried I wouldn't make it to the gas station. Lucky for him: A)I made it to the station; B) it was his birthday; and C) he was at school and I couldn't call him up for a butt chewing. So I guess he gets a mulligan.

For the most part I like this driving thing. My taxi schedule has been cut significantly and I am definitely okay with that. I just wish my taxi would come back washed and filled.

17 Again

2009-04-30T07:46:00.002-04:00

Actually 17 for the first time. Taylor is 17 today. Where have the years gone? I seriously don't know. I do know this, though. Todd and I have shared 17 years of nearly all good with him. And the not so good? Not so bad. We have been truly blessed. I wish I could say it's because we're such great parents. The truth of the matter, however, is that we still don't really know what we're doing. Especially with him, our firstborn. He's the guinea pig. So the logical conclusion is it's only by the grace of God that he's gotten to the ripe old age of 17 with such little trouble. My sister told me that about her boys several years ago when Taylor was still very young and it all makes perfect sense to me now.

So Taylor - you are cherished by your parents who love you very much. Happy Birthday!

Where Has The Time Gone??

2009-04-26T14:17:00.004-04:00

Hello, Friends!! I can't believe I haven't written a post in over two weeks. I don't think I've ever gone this long before. Things are fine, just busy. A lot has gone on around here since the last post and I promise I'll get to it all - maybe this evening. But for now I'm just here to say I'm still around, things are fine, and I've finally started my Trippin' Through The Bible series at the CLEAR Website. I also made a nifty little button so every time I do a TTTB post you can just click the button if you want to read it.

So until later...