Jenster's Musings

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I Think I Figured It Out

I've wondered for a while why I love the picture I posted yesterday. Technically I should be mortified by it. I'm bald for one thing - and not by choice. I've established I have no make up on. I'm wearing some silly, but extremely comfortable pants I made eons ago. I'm just not looking my best. Sounds like the kind of photo that should make me cringe with utter humiliation every time I see it.

I finally realized it stirs an emotion in me that very few pictures do. This was taken almost two months after Todd had moved to Pennsylvania and he was coming home to Arkansas every other weekend at that time. Obviously, I was going through chemo and those two weeks between his visits were so hard. I tend to push unpleasantness to the back so I don't have to deal with it, but it's always there, unconsciously winding me up. It was almost like I was holding my breath for the whole two weeks.

But when he got home I could exhale. My happiness was completely genuine instead of being marred by my sadness. And cuddling with him on the couch was pure, sweet joy. So much so that Taylor could even feel it, which is why he took the picture. In his words, "You guys look so cute." LOL

I suppose, also, it reminds me of where we were and where we are now, which is so much better.

Thank you for your sweet comments instead of, "Oh my gosh! You look like a freak!" :o)


Mused by Jenster :: 8:22 AM :: 9 People musing:

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