Book of Armaments chapter 2 versus 9 – 21
And St. Antioch raised the hand grenade up on high saying, “Oh Lord. Bless this, thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemy to tiny bits in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin and the people did feast on the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereal and fruit baskets and…
And the Lord spake saying, first shalt thou take out the holy pin and then shalt thou count to three – no more no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shall thou not count, neither count thou two excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou the holy hand grenade of Antioch towards they foe, who being not in my sight, shall snuffit.