Saturday, September 12, 2009

Just Another Oncology Appointment

This coming Wednesday I’m going to see my wonderful oncologist, otherwise known as The White Russian, for my 6 month check up. I’m pretty sure I know how it will pan out. I’ll sit in the waiting room happily reading until the nurse calls my name. She and I will walk back to the nurse’s station while she blames me for the weight she’s gained because I happened to tell her about Hope’s Cookies and now she can’t ever drive by there without stopping. Then, just to be spiteful I’m sure, she’ll make ME stand on the scale (at which time I’ll tell her again that I’ll be a good 30 pounds less the next time she sees me) and drain a couple vials of blood from my arm.

Once I get to the examination room I’ll be depressed about the weight she just recorded for all of eternity and The White Russian will walk in, disturbing my lamentations, and say how great it is to see a healthy person. Then I’ll feel bad about my whining when I would take every single ounce and then some if it meant not having cancer anymore.

He will ask how my summer was and what my family did. I’ll tell him we drove to Arkansas for a week to visit friends and family and how we didn’t get to see half the people we would have liked to. Then I’ll tell him how I flew to Seattle the following week to spend some time in a beach house with four other women. We’ll also talk about the tight, tingling, almost painful pressure my left arm feels whenever I fly or even ride in the car for any length of time without any support and he’ll look for signs of lymphedema. Thankfully he won’t find any unusual swelling and I’ll be told to keep wearing the compression sleeve when I fly and hopefully we’ll dodge this particular bullet.

After that we’ll discuss the stiffness in my joints and other bodily aches and we’ll decide that since it’s not debilitating pain I’ll just remain on the Arimidex for another 15 months. This is when I’ll realize I’m only little more than a year out from my 5-year goal and that will make me happy.

Most likely The White Russian will order a bone density scan because the combination of no ovaries and the Arimidex make for early onset osteoporosis. He’ll also probably decide I should have a colonoscopy because I haven’t had one yet and colon cancer is somehow closely related to breast cancer. Not only that, but there is a history of colon cancer in my family.

We will also look at my blood work which will no doubt look good except for my white count and other immune system related values. They might be within normal limits, but I can tell you right now they’re going to be low. How do I know this? Well for one thing they’re always on the low side of normal. In the nearly four years I’ve been finished with chemo they have never gotten very far above the line. But I’ve also managed to wear myself down which always results in a thick and swollen tongue, my own personal telltale sign of a low WBC. When it’s really bad, like it was after my trip to Seattle, minor cuts and blisters won’t heal and I’ll get a funky feeling that I just can’t describe so I’m not even going to try.

Thrown in between all this clinical stuff he’ll ask about my kids. When I tell him Taylor is now a senior in high school he’ll ask about his desired major and college. He’ll also ask how Katie likes high school and what do I think about being on this end of parenting. The White Russian will tell me a little about his family and their summer and before I know it my visit will be over.

I’ll then get to Peggy’s desk and we’ll chat for a moment and schedule my next appointment for sometime around March or so. And while I’m so happy I don’t have to make weekly or even monthly visits to the oncologist anymore, I’ll be just the teensiest bit sad that I don’t get to see these people for another six months. But then I’ll stop at Starbuck’s on my way home for a Venti White Chocolate Mocha with whip (Weight Watcher’s points don’t count on oncology days) and all will be right with the world.

I do wish I hadn’t gained all this weight (which I blame all on the various treatments I’ve been through since diagnosis) and I would love it if my body would be more cooperative and less stiff and achy. I’m very conscious about the possibility of lymphedema and I’m a little angry about the whole osteoporosis thing. The thing that bothers me the most right now is the white counts and the swollen tongue. How weird is that? It’s always swollen, but it gets worse when I’m feeling bad or overly tired and it gets in the way when I’m trying to talk and I’m always biting the sides with my sharp carnivorous molars.

Nobody ever tells you about all the stuff you have to deal with AFTER treatment, even if you don’t have any more cancer. But I’ll take all of it just to get to my 5-year goal and hear those magic words, “No Evidence of Disease”. And as I'm driving home I'll start relaxing, even though I didn't realize just how tense I was. I always expect a good report, but somewhere in the far reaches of my mind I suppose I fear the worst.

Finally, I'll start thinking about those I know who don't get to hear those words that I'm sure to. The women who are dealing with a recurrence or a metastasis, those who seem to be losing their fight, and especially those we've had to say goodbye to. My joy at another good report will be dimmed by the sadness for those who are not as fortunate and I'll be reminded just how horrific cancer is.

And in six months I'll do it all again.

Cross-posted at Mothers With Cancer

Labels: blessings, cancer, Health, sadness

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Monday, August 10, 2009

The Party's Over...

Last night I caught the red eye out of SeaTac for a non-stop to Philly where I landed around 7:00 this morning. Which was 4:00 AM to my Pacific Time Zone adjusted self. Thankfully I have nothing to do today other than sleep, readjust and download over 1200 pictures Precious blessed me with. Not 1200 good pictures. Just 1200 pictures. Which is taking FOR.EH.VER...

I had the complete joy of getting together with four of the most amazing women this past weekend. Jewels in My Crown, LVCG, His Girl and CPQ. Seriously incredible girls and they let ME hang out with them in a beach house on Whidbey Island that Jewels in My Crown graciously shared with us.

We laughed so much my stomach hurt. There were a lot of perilously-close-to-peeing-our-pants moments. We also cried a little here and there as we shared the less than joyous situations we've found ourselves in -- we all have a story -- but those tears nearly always turned into the happy tears that come from witnessing God's kindness and mercy through those difficult times.

The island was beautiful and the weather perfect. While the tide was out we scoured the shoreline for sand dollars and shells and found crabs and sea snails (disgusting) and barnicals and all sorts of interesting things. We explored a couple of charming towns with their quaint shops, ate delicious food - both at the house and in town - mosied through a farmer's market and strolled through the sweet smelling lavendar farm.

Yesterday we snapped pictures of the original Starbuck's and waited around to see fish being thrown at Pike's Market, but the best we got to see was a package of crab being thrown and impressively caught by a guy while holding a steaming cup of coffee. Sadly we had to take LVCG to the airport fairly early and then the rest of us returned to Seattle to explore some more.

Finally it was time to come home. I was happy to get home to the family, but I would be lying if I said I was ready for the weekend to be over. It was the type of get away that was absolutely perfect. I honestly can't think of anything that would have made it better. Except another week or so.

Like usual, there's so much more to the weekend. I've just glossed over the highlights, but I still have about 800 pictures to continue downloading so this will have to do for now. So much to blog... so little time.

Labels: blessings, friends, fun, vacation

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

Making Memories

Friday was one of those days I'll remember for a very long time. The kind of day that wasn't terribly uncommon when the kids were younger - back when we could say, We're going to go see this movie or hike that trail or go on a picnic, or whatever and the announcement would be met with enthusiasm and anticipation. These days, however, trying to find a movie or an activity we can all agree on has proven nearly impossible. Turns out 17-year-old boys don't like the same things 14-year-old girls like and neither of them care for what mom and dad prefer.

Todd and I both had Friday off and the forecast didn't call for a speck of rain, a rarity these days. So we jumped in the car and took off for North Wales where we started our adventure with a great lunch at Chili's - the kids' choice. Down the street from the restaurant we played miniature golf, swung bats in the batting cages, raced each other on the Go-Kart track and just generally had a ton of fun.

In fact the good times started on Thursday. Just hanging out together, eating together, playing together, watching movies together. A lot of "together". And I've cherished every second of it. Today after church the kids left for a Christian teen conference for a week.

How is it Taylor only has one year of high school left? He's much closer to being a man than a kid. When did that happen? And why does Katie have to be a freshman in the fall? My baby will be in the same place as my firstborn before I've had a chance to catch my breath. And then what?

It used to be they were dependent on me for their fun. I was at home with them from the time they were very small and I enjoyed playing with them. The pool, the zoo, an easy hiking trail, the water park, etc. In fact, sometimes they were my excuse to get to do something fun like the science museum or the newest Disney movie.

When the weather was cold I would brew a pot of tea, make some shortbread and set the table nicely for an after school snack. During summer rains we would camp in the living room, eat Popsicles on the front porch and sometimes even play in the rain. One year we had a pretty good snow, but both kids were sick and couldn't get out to play in it. So Todd and I loaded up a big bowl with snow and let the kids build little igloos and castles on cookie sheets in the kitchen.

Trips to the park, swinging into the swimming hole on an old rope, the weekly stop at the library, camping with just us or friends, pulling them in the double wagon, reading in the hallway while a storm raged outside, cuddling on the couch and watching the latest Disney release...

My mind has been filled with these precious memories and my heart with a mixture of sadness that those days are long gone and a joy at the prospect of what these children are becoming. Sometimes I wish we could jump in a time machine and go back to those treasured moments. But at the same time I love the people they're growing into and enjoy when we do get to hang out together.

I am thankful to God beyond measure that Todd and I have good relationships with our teenagers and that sometimes they like spending time with us. I'm also thankful for the friendships they have with other great teenagers, the majority of whom share the same values, morals and take their faith seriously. It's no myth that friends make the person.

There is almost an urgency to spend as much time with them as I possibly can because it seems very limited. At the same time, however, I'm thrilled they both have the opportunity to go away this week and pray not only for their safety, but also for their spiritual growth.

When your kids are little you hear time and time again, "Enjoy them while you can because they're grown in the blink of an eye." Well I have enjoyed them from the very beginning and it does seem as though I've just blinked. The night before Taylor started kindergarten I laid in bed and cried because, "Tomorrow is kindergarten, then it will be college and before you know it he'll be married and living somewhere else." A little dramatic, yes (and Todd does still tease me about it) but not so far fetched.

This evening we had another break in the rain so I took Sookie to the park for a long walk. Families with little ones were out in abundance, making those bittersweet memories even sharper. I wanted to call out the above cliche to make those parents understand how fleeting this beautiful part of life is. But it's not something you can truly grasp until you're at the other end.

So Friday we played miniature golf and stopped keeping score after the 12th hole. We swung bats in the batting cages - my first time since the great breast cancer debacle of '05 (and I can still smack a ball). We drove Go-Karts and I managed to spin Taylor, run him into a wall and stall him. But mostly we just had fun and made a few more memories to add to the stack.

Labels: blessings, family, fun, nostalgia

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Thursday, April 30, 2009

17 Again

Actually 17 for the first time. Taylor is 17 today. Where have the years gone? I seriously don't know. I do know this, though. Todd and I have shared 17 years of nearly all good with him. And the not so good? Not so bad. We have been truly blessed. I wish I could say it's because we're such great parents. The truth of the matter, however, is that we still don't really know what we're doing. Especially with him, our firstborn. He's the guinea pig. So the logical conclusion is it's only by the grace of God that he's gotten to the ripe old age of 17 with such little trouble. My sister told me that about her boys several years ago when Taylor was still very young and it all makes perfect sense to me now.

So Taylor - you are cherished by your parents who love you very much. Happy Birthday!

Labels: birthdays, blessings, kids

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Saturday, February 28, 2009

I'm Still Around

My poor mother had to call me today because I haven't been keeping up with my blog so she didn't know what was going on with me. Sadder words have never been typed! So I'm going to give you a bit of random...


We had Chinese food the other day and check out my fortune:



Todd was pretty smug when I read it to him because every time I complain about my weight or any other cruddy side effect of having cancer he says pretty much the same thing. This is the part where I usually say something flippant and roll my eyes, but Mothers with Cancer lost one of our own last night so I'm going to embrace these simple words and be grateful for what I have.



This upcoming Friday I am going to the spa with my friends; Kris, Laura and Sheri. Last year for each birthday we chipped in and bought a gift card for a one hour massage and we're finally getting around to cashing in on them. It's going to be exactly like Sex in the City, except there will be no sex going on and the spa is actually in a pretty rural, yet quaint, little town. But there will be four exceptionally beautiful and fashion savvy women. Really.

Laura made the reservations for us, but we each had to call in and give them our GC number. So I called and gave my number to the receptionist and then I took a deep breath and said, "I have a rather embarrassing question to ask you." She was very nice as I told her I had breast reconstruction a couple of years ago and am unable to lay on my stomach. My obvious concern was that I wouldn't be able to get the massage. After relaying the information to the massage therapist she came back and told me it wouldn't be a problem.

Here again I would like to complain about the inconvenience of cancer, but I remember Lisa and my fortune so I won't.


Sookie is much better. Poor, neglected dog.





Todd, on the other hand, is still sick. His fever broke a week ago and his doctor put him on a steroid dose pack to clear the chest congestion so he could breathe, but he's still under the weather. He's going back to the doctor on Monday and I just hope he doesn't have pneumonia because: A) He has another business trip next week and he gets to visit his brother's family; B) He's tired of feeling miserable; and C) I don't do well with sick people in my house.


We had a little taste of spring yesterday. It was delightful. First of all, I have instituted a new "below freezing" rule which says if it's not below freezing I'm not driving the kids to the bus stop. Now the bus stop is only a half a block away and it's not the walking in the cold weather I'm opposed to. It's them standing there for 20 minutes in the below freezing temps that I don't like. Let's face it - I'll always be a Southern California beach girl at heart. But yesterday morning it was around 38 - well above freezing.

And when I opened the back door to let Sookie out it smelled wondermus. I don't remember this smell in California, but you Southerners know exactly what I'm talking about. The smell of early spring. It's in my top ten favorite smells ever, maybe top five.

It was just nice to leave the house for some Homie Hang time and not have to bundle up like Randy in A Christmas Story. But guess what. We are now expected snow. Not just a little, either. Depending on who you listen to we could get up to 10 inches of snow between tomorrow night and Monday morning. Of course, I'll believe it when I see it.

I have mixed emotions here. On one hand, we've had a lot of snow events this year, but no measurable snow to speak of. It would be nice to have one good sledding snow. On the other hand I'm ready for spring. I'm ready to have the windows open and take the dog for walks without freezing.



There is much more random in my life, but this is all you get today. Who knows? Maybe I'll write more tomorrow!!

Labels: blessings, cancer, random, sick, Sookie, weather

Mused by Jenster :: 4:30 PM :: 14 People musing:

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!!

Today is my dad's birthday. Oh how I wish I could take my motley crew and impose upon my folks to help celebrate another milestone. Instead I'm just gonna talk about him (in past tense just because I'm thinking back to when I was a kid) a little bit.

I've always seen my dad as a quiet, unassuming man and also one of the smartest people I've ever known. He could carry on a conversation with a brilliant scholar or an uneducated dockworker - no one was above or beneath him. Everybody, no matter their education, station, race, whatever, received the same respect. He never flaunted his intelligence and I think there were probably a lot of people who never had any idea just how smart he really was.

He loved classical music and dixieland jazz and I would say he gave my sisters and me an appreciation for all different forms of music. I can remember him sitting in the big, plaid chair in the living room, enjoying a drink while Rossini's William Tell Overture played on the stereo, my sisters and I galloping around the house like the Lone Ranger. Or secretly loving (though I acted embarrassed) watching him dance around with a cigar in his hand as we stood in line at the French Market Restaurant in Disneyland as the jazz band played away.

Mom and Dad were known for their ability to cut a mean rug, too. Every wedding reception where Glenn Miller's In The Mood was played found them doing their thing on the dance floor. Embarrassing to a stupid teenager, but impressive to everyone else.

Dad taught us girls how to read a map and gave us each a pretty good sense of direction. He also taught me to fish and pee in the woods. He never managed to get me to hang over the side of a boat and pee, much to his frustration. I made him take the boat into the dock just as the fish started biting. Of course by the time we got back out to the same spot the fish had moved on.

I love the memories I have of a regular Saturday at home. He would mow and trim and do all the yard work, take a shower and clean up, and then grill in the backyard while he smoked his stogie. The smell of fresh-cut lawn, grilling meat and a cigar equal such happiness to me. Once when I was about 14 or so, I begged him to let me try his cigar. "No, no, no", he kept saying, but I pestered and pestered. So he handed me the cigar and I took a puff, only to turn green and nearly upchuck in the flower beds. As I recall he got a big kick out of that. And I never had a desire to smoke a cigar after that!

Both my parents have always be great examples of serving others. Long before I came along they were active at church, helping in whatever way they needed to. I never thought a whole lot about it - it's just what they did - until I got much older. Now I realize how much of their lives they've given to help others. Even now they work at their church and once a month at a local food pantry. Because it's just what they do.

One of my favorite things to do growing up was our family outings after church on Sundays. Sometimes we'd drive up Western to the Tide Pools and then stop at Arthur's Ice Cream on the way home. Or sometimes we'd take a change of clothes and a picnic lunch and go for a long ride over Mulholland or maybe up to Oak Glen for apples. When most teenagers abhorred hanging out with their folks, I loved to do these fun things with mine.

I was blessed with a very happy and secure childhood. I never doubted my parents loved me and I never doubted they loved each other. Of course Mom played a big part in this security, but today's post is about Dad. :o) To say Dad never got mad would be a falsehood, but he wasn't one to fly off the handle. Usually when my sisters or I were in trouble we deserved it. Of course, we may not have seen it that way at the time.

My dad and I danced to Daddy's Hands by Holly Dunn at my wedding. I can't hear that song twenty years later and not get choked up. I heard it in the grocery store as I was checking out a couple years ago and I could hardly hold it together. But the words couldn't have been any more perfect:

I remember Daddy´s hands, folded silently in prayer.
And reaching out to hold me, when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story, in the callouses and lines.
Years of work and worry had left their mark behind.
I remember Daddy´s hands, how they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back, for something done right.
There are things that I´ve forgotten, that I loved about the man,
But I´ll always remember the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

I remember Daddy´s hands, working 'til they bled.
Sacrificed unselfishly, just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over, I´d live my life again.
And never take for granted the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love .....
In Daddy´s hands.

OH MY GOSH! I'm blubbering again! Dangit! Anyway, my dad was an electrical engineer so I doubt his job ever caused his hands to bleed, but the chorus sums up my daddy's hands perfectly.

And speaking of his hands, I always loved them. They were always neat and clean except when he'd been working in the garage or in the yard and then he'd scrub them with Lava and they'd be clean again. I always thought of them as elegant hands and one of the first things I noticed about Todd was how he had hands like my dad's. Isn't it funny the things that make an impression on us?

I could go on and on and on, but I'll bring this to a close by talking a little bit about my other dad.

Because God is an ethereal being we tend to project our own experiences to create a God we can relate to. Some people see God as distant because they had a father who was distant. Some people see God as indifferent because their father was indifferent. Some people see God as totally absent because, well, you get the idea.

Myself? I've never had a problem seeing God as the perfect and wonderful God He is. Loving, kind, gentle, just, stern when needed, merciful, etc. Now I'm certainly not saying my dad IS God. Just ask my mom and she'll tell you he hasn't walked on water. But what I am saying is that he has always been a great example of a kind and loving Father. Just like my Heavenly Father.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!

Labels: birthdays, blessings, God, nostalgia

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Whole Work Thing

Nearly 14 years ago when Todd and I decided to take the leap of faith and have me quit work it was a scary, scary thing. Taylor was three and Katie was a baby and financially it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. It was the exact right thing to do for the family, though. By the grace of God we made do and I think we both figured I'd go back to work once Katie started kindergarten.

When that time came, however, it seemed as though that was when I was really needed. I spent a lot of time at the school getting to know the teachers and staff and I was home in the afternoons with the kids to help with homework or whatever. I didn't have to spend my evenings or weekends doing the chores I was able to get done during the day, when there was a sick child there was no stressing out over which parent would stay home, and summers and holidays weren't a problem. All four of us became very accustomed to me being at home and we all liked it that way.

Todd went from a meager salary to a decent salary which eased things quite a bit. I ended up doing a little legal and medical transcribing from home for "fun money", but eventually quit doing that because I was having to type in the evenings which defeated the whole purpose of me staying home. (Not before I took Todd to St. Louis for a long weekend and a Cardinals game his 38th birthday, though!)

My lack of employment was a blessing in 2005 - first with the impending move and then with the cancer treatment. When we finally did make the move it was great to have the freedom to explore our new surroundings with the kids on a whim, especially since they didn't really know anyone at first.

Whenever I would mention me going back to work to Todd - not because I wanted to but because I thought maybe I should - he would always say he likes that I don't have to work. And before the feminists in you start ranting, it wasn't a chauvinistic thing. Our lives are just much easier with one of us being at home. Still, it was my choice.

So I chose not to work, though last year I did work 7 hours a week at the preschool. At the end of that time I decided not to go back because, along with some physical issues, I felt I needed to concentrate on writing and speaking. Guess how much real writing I've done since that decision was made. If you said "Bupkis" you would be correct. Not only that, but if my "job" is to manage the house wouldn't you expect the house to be managed? Yes, well, it's not. I have become a horrible steward of my time and I haven't been able to figure out how to fix it.

Yesterday I met with a gal at a place about a thing - I'm not really sure how much I should say yet. I will say this, though. It's a part time job, 9:00 to 3:00, Monday through Thursday doing mostly things I like to do. I say mostly because I figure every job has those tasks nobody wants to do, but I don't know what those would be yet. I don't have to give up my Home Team and my plans for speaking to various MOPS groups are encouraged. With my limited view it definitely looks like a God-thing.

It's in God's hands now. If this is where He wants me it will be the place I end up. If not, then I'll move on. I'm so very grateful this isn't a case of necessity. It makes it easy to wait on Him and in the meantime maybe I can get my schedule-impaired act together.

Labels: blessings, God, job, time management

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Teaser...

I have so much to tell you all. SO MUCH! But I'm headed out the door again to meet up with the Chicas in Lancaster.

PEACE OUT!!

Labels: blessings, friends, fun, joy, laughter, touristy

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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

VICTORY!!

A month or so ago I told you about some folks who were in jeopardy of losing their home - The "The Just Plain Wrong" portion of The Good, The Bad, and the Just Plain Wrong. Last night the Township Supervisors voted unanimously for a resolution to ban the condemnation of these two properties for use in building a new park or anything else. The Township building was packed with concerned citizens - we didn't all fit in the actual room and spilled out into the foyer. As you can imagine, there was much applause when the resolution was adopted.

***

When Todd lived at home he would gripe at his dad for not turning the heater on in the early mornings. (Contrary to what some of you may think, early morning in SoCal can be pretty chilly) Now that HE'S the homeowner it's like pulling teeth to get him to turn on the heater. Thankfully for the rest of us, he's out of town. Monday night I turned the heater on and it's a good thing I did. It was 34 degrees yesterday morning! When I told him I turned on the heater he said, "But it's only October!" I may need to put a lock on the thermostat so he can't turn it off when he gets home!

***

I watched about an hour of the debate last night. I couldn't stomach any more than that. This is a totally bipartisan opinion. I'm sick and tired of the lying, the embellishing, the partial truths, the mud slinging -- both sides are just as guilty as the other. Frankly, I don't know who or what to believe. I can't decide if it keeps getting worse or if it's just that I keep getting older and am paying closer attention. Whatever the case, I'll go vote my conscience on that first Tuesday in November and pray for our country and whoever ends up in the White House.

***

Now for the really big news! I'm picking up Sing 4 Joy and God's Guitar Girl from the airport tonight! Then tomorrow I'll get to meet His Girl and a few other Chicas! And they're even going to let me hang out with them on Friday evening and Sunday evening!

Tomorrow I'm taking S4J and GGG into Philadelphia and dropping them off to do their thing while I take the kids to the Franklin Institute to see the Pirates Exhibit (Argh!) and then we might get to catch up with our Hawaiian friends for a bit!

Busy, busy, busy, but FUN, FUN, FUN!

***

As for the hair cut, I'm loving it!! As far as putting a picture on my blog, well, you'll just have to wait. I'm sure I'll be posting a few photos from this weekend and you can see it then. But don't hold me to that!!

***

Okay. I'm off to make my house somewhat presentable for the girls. Gotta go!!

Labels: blessings, change, family, friends, fun, joy, kids, news, prayer, random, touristy, weather, weekend plans, wrong

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Good Day??

I think today was a pretty good day despite the fact we decided to attend the new 8:00 service this morning. We've been going to the 11:30 service from the beginning, but now that we've outgrown our parking lot and building and need to spread out the attendance, the church has added a fourth service - 8:00. A couple weeks ago they asked for volunteers and Todd made me write on the attendance card that we would go to the 8:00 service until the new building is finished in April. APRIL! 8:00! A!M!

In case you're new to the party, I do not do mornings very well. So I consider this a sacrifice for Jesus because that's how I roll.

A nice little surprise was seeing my friend, Beans, at the same service. She came and sat with us so that was good.

Today's message was the first in a series called Everything I Learned About Life I Learned From The Beatles. That went a long way in assuaging my gripey, too-early, caffeine-deprived self because I love me some Beatles. Today's song was Help!, one of my favorites. Brian Jones, the pastor, transitioned nicely from the rock song to Psalm 121.

Another score! This is one of my favorite passages of scripture. I was challenged to memorize it several years ago in a women's bible study, only to cling to it and make it my anthem, if you will, when I was diagnosed. Funny thing is I just commented this very thing on our women's blog about prayers and such yesterday.

One more bonus about going to the 8:00 service is that we were home about the time we usually start getting ready for church. Sunday mornings have been slow and lazy, but I actually like having a longer day. Especially when it's rainy like today. Even if it does mean I have to get up earlier than I think is appropriate on God's day of rest.

I've also had some moments today I don't necessarily enjoy. I'm working on two separate writing projects, both dealing with cancer, and it makes me go places I'd rather forget about. But I know I have to - not just for the writing, but because ignoring the still raw spots don't make them go away. And I keep thinking I'm past the hurt, but obviously I'm not. Oh, it's very true that time heals old wounds, but the scars never completely fade.

But this stirring of emotions wasn't enough to ruin my day. Strangely, I think it added to the goodness. Because even though these memories remind me of sad and sometimes terrible things, they also remind me that my help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. The whole time I was in the bad and scary place he watched over me, never sleeping even a second. And it just doesn't get any gooder than that.

Labels: Bible, blessings, breast cancer, church, God, nostalgia, prayer, worship

Mused by Jenster :: 11:58 AM :: 11 People musing:

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Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Good, The Bad, and the Just Plain Wrong



This morning was the women's brunch at church. It was, as usual, awesome. I always come away feeling so... so... oh, I don't know. Pumped. Stoked. Charged. Psyched. Wanting more. (Beans - I'm so sad you weren't there! I missed you!!) Thankfully, there is plenty more to come. And plenty more for me to share as we go. In fact, I will probably do a more thorough post on today's brunch at a later date, but I've got other stuff to share today. Just know this morning's event was The Good. Or maybe I should say The Really Good.




My sleep quality hasn't been the greatest lately. It seems like the only time I get a good night's sleep is when I take Advil PM. But then I have a hard time getting up in the morning so I have to make sure I have about nine hours before I have to be awake. Which means I very rarely take the medicine and last night was no exception.

The alarm was set for 6:10 (because 6:10 sounds so much better than 6:00 on a Saturday) and I went to bed a little after ten. I slept great! I vaguely remember lightly surfacing from a deep sleep and feeling overjoyed at the wonderful night of sleep I was having.

I slept so deeply that I never heard the back window of Todd's truck break when the fist-sized rock was hurled through it. Nor did I hear the vandals nearly rip the dashboard off as they attempted to get to the stereo. I didn't even hear the doorbell when the policeman rang it somewhere between 4:00 and 4:30 this morning and I didn't notice that Todd had gotten up, mumbled something about the door and padded downstairs to see what was going on.

Very shortly after that, however, I did wake up and I watched the policeman and Todd look through his truck. I saw the policeman get in the squad car and drive off while Todd came up the walkway and into the house. Apparently some thugs came through our safe, quiet neighborhood, smashing car windows and performing mayhem upon vehicles parked on the street. As far as anyone could tell, however, nothing was taken.






We decided to stay here instead of going to New Jersey, hoping our insurance guy would get in touch with us today. Todd doubtfully called the concert venue to see if we could get a refund or a credit for our tickets and had to leave a message. Surprisingly, a woman from the box office called and while she wasn't able to give us a refund, we will get to choose a future event so we weren't out the money for the tickets.

I suppose I maybe got a little cocky in my last post, talking about how you shouldn't be jealous of me and all that. I've learned my lesson.




One of Katie's good friends from church lives next door to her grandparents. They also attend our church and are loved by everyone who knows them. Her grandfather is going through chemotherapy for brain cancer. As if that's not enough stress, the township they live in is wanting their land for another park, even though there are parks aplenty already. And the township isn't wanting to pay anywhere near fair market value. This is the first time I've ever known someone who may lose their home because of eminent domain.

I know most of you who read this blog don't live near here, but this can happen anywhere. You can read more about the atrocious situation at this website which has been set up for the purpose of disseminating information. There is also an on-line petition you can sign if you'd like to. But even if you don't want to read the website or sign the petition, please pray for these families.

Labels: blessings, church, injustice, worship, wrong

Mused by Jenster :: 5:49 PM :: 17 People musing:

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Friday, September 12, 2008

HAPPY WEEKEND!!

So? How is everybody? Big plans for the weekend? I know some of you on the Gulf are taking a forced get away. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Please be safe!

I've got an awesome weekend planned. I feel bad, too, because when I talked to my mom yesterday I told her there wasn't anything going on. In my defense I had just woken up from an unplanned nap (you know how you're just sitting in a comfy chair, hanging with your daughter and she's watching some show on wedding dresses or maybe cakes and it's slightly cool with the door opened so you have a light blanket on you and then all of a sudden BAM! You're asleep?) and the ol' noggin had been working so hard prior to said unplanned nap that I had a really hard time jump starting it. So, SORRY MOM!

Okay. So here's the deal. First of all my church is launching a new women's program tomorrow and I've been working on the website. We have the brunch tomorrow morning where all will be revealed, including the website, and I'm so excited about this. Women's ministry has always been a passion of mine and now it is coming to fruition and I've been blessed to be a part of it from the ground up. But that's all I'm going to say about that. Oh, now don't worry. You'll be hearing more about it later.

Then after Katie and I get home from the brunch (she's babysitting) we're packing the car (very lightly) and driving up to some town in New Jersey I can never remember the name of to see what is sure to be an incredibly awesome concert.

The Music Builds tour with Third Day, Switchfoot, Robert Randolph, & Jars of Clay. Don't be jealous. Well, I suppose you can be jealous for a minute, but then you're just going to have to get over it.

Yeah. It's good to be me.

Labels: blessings, family, fun, joy, music, weekend plans, worship

Mused by Jenster :: 2:12 PM :: 9 People musing:

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Monday, August 11, 2008

New Beginnings

If someone were to ask me what my favorite day is I would normally answer "Saturday". I do love Saturday. Somewhere in my archives I mentioned I love Saturday so much I would marry it if it would have me and I weren't already married. But right now I think Monday is my favorite day. A fresh start to the week. A chance to do better than last week.

If you're depraved enough you could probably go through my blog and figure out how many times I've started Weight Watchers in the last two years. If you're my friend, please don't waste your time. Just trust me when I say it's a bunch. But I'm starting again today.

Last Thursday I wrote this post and I'm pleased to report that I've been more disciplined in my study and time with God. I'm already reaping the benefits. Look at the verse that jumped off the page of my Bible and fairly smacked me upside my head.




It's nothing new or revolutionary. In fact it's something that I know as sure as I know my name. But for some reason it was a total "Ah Ha" moment when I read it this morning. I wrote it on a note card so I can refer to it at any given second. Like when I want to eat M&Ms instead of something with fewer points. Or when I want to read instead of cleaning the kitchen. Or when I want to watch TV instead of taking the dog for a walk. Or when I want to surf the net instead of writing.

I have the feeling I'm going to be referring to this note card several times an hour.

Labels: Bible, blessings, change, God, time management, wisdom

Mused by Jenster :: 11:17 AM :: 10 People musing:

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

A Bunch of Good Stuff

So what's up? Nothin' much going on here. Just the usual. You know. Todd's at work - he's got major short timer's disease, but he's making a valiant effort; Katie's babysitting; Taylor's at CIY in Tennessee - kind of like church camp only much more intense. Katie's Little Homies are going camping this afternoon through Saturday morning so Todd and I get some just us time. I think I'm going to make reservations at that new Italian restaurant we were going to eat at for our anniversary, but they were booked. Yeah. That's a great idea.





We watched "Fools' Gold" last night and LOVED IT! The chemistry between Kate Hudson and Matthew McConnohotty is nearly palpable. It had everything I love in a movie. Adventure, romance, humor, an exotic location and even a bit of history. Well, made up history, but still.




The prude that I am was a little disappointed at a flash of anonymous boobies. It's PG-13, for cryin' out loud. It was a quick flash, but so very unnecessary. It reminded me of when I was in 8th grade and my AT group went into Hollywood to see Romeo and Juliet at Grauman's Chinese Theater. Really cool experience, but the boys in the group were thrilled when Olivia Hussey jumped out of bed, baring her chest. (But really, what do you expect with a name like Hussey?) The girls were just embarrassed. And a little envious. Or maybe that was just me.



OH! Have I told you we actually have a Sonic AND a real Starbucks with a drive through now? Maybe two miles from the house, if that. The only problem with the Sonic is it's such a novelty up here that they have to have traffic managers with walkie talkies directing cars who are waiting for the next available slot. It's totally insane. I mean, I love Sonic and all - you know I do - but it's not THAT great.

Last Sunday after Youth Group a bunch of the older kids went to Sonic. They parked in the lot and walked over to order and eat at the picnic tables out front. You order in the same kind of speaker box as if you'd pulled up to a slot, but you give them your name so when they come out they know where the order goes. So here's the conversation with the Sonic chick and my son:

SC: What's your name?

T: Taylor.

SC: What is it?

T: Taylor.

SC: Tyler?

T: Taylor.

SC: What was that?

T: Billy.

SC: Billy?

T: Yup.



This is the top of the swimsuit I bought for Hawaii the other day. I consider it was a good day because I didn't cry in the dressing room. Didn't even feel the urge. I certainly don't like the way I look in a swimsuit. Heck, I didn't like it when I was 40 pounds lighter. But it is what it is so there's no sense getting depressed about it. But what thrilled me was the fact it's just a normal top and it just happens to hide both my mastectomy scar (my left mastectomy scar is pretty high up) and my port scar. I also got two different bottoms - red regular bottoms and a coral SwimMini.



This morning I found a great deal on plane reservations for my parents to come up for Thanksgiving. So I called Mom and we booked those babies before they went away. Mom and Dad actually get in on my 43rd birthday. I think we'll celebrate with a chocolate cake and 29 candles. It's just been the four of us for the last two Thanksgivings so we're really looking forward to having some family to help us celebrate.



All this goodness leads me to today's verse.

If you, then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven give
good gifts to those who ask him!

Labels: birthdays, blessings, family, fun, God, holidays, homies, humor, kids, laughter, movies, nostalgia, random, reconstruction, vacation, Verse of the Day

Mused by Jenster :: 9:41 AM :: 16 People musing:

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Family & AVADIJ Thursday, 6/12/08

...one blessing after another. Let's see...

TODD

Saturday night Todd and I went out for an anniversary dinner. I say "an" and not "our" because there will be another, maybe two. (Yes, Todd. You read that right.) Anyway, we started at one restaurant, but the wait was wicked long. So we went to another restaurant, but their air conditioner wasn't working and we were heading into the nasty heatwave you've been reading about. We finally ended up at our usual pizza joint - the place we pick up the best pizza around from. We'd never eaten there, but it was so pleasant. No wait, cool air, a booth for two, a glass of wine, a delicious meal, even a little hand holding over the table. Niiiice.

When we returned home Todd went upstairs to pack for the business trip he was leaving for the next morning. Remembering I was supposed to iron a pair of slacks for him, I headed up to do just that. But he said he decided to just take the pants the way they were. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: I actually thought I'd wait until the morning when it was a little cooler up here. You can put them in your suitcase at that time, can't you?

Todd: Yeah, but that's okay. I'll just set the room air on North Pole cold and iron them there. I get in fairly early in the day and won't have much else to do.

Me: You don't want to iron while you're gone. Seriously, I'll iron them right now for you. (I was feeling kind of guilty because I'd said I would do it.)

Todd: No, really. It's no big deal. I'll just iron them tomorrow at the hotel.

Me: You're sure??

Todd: Yeah. Don't worry about it.

Me: Okay. (kiss) Um, since the room is going to be so cold and you're going to have all day, why don't I just give you the rest of the ironing??

Not surprisingly, he declined.

TAYLOR

I had to drive Taylor to work one day. He works for a lawn care service and I had to take him to Stewart Road. For being a smart boy he doesn't pay much attention to directions. He knew the neighborhood, but it's a humongous development and he had no idea where Stewart was. So we drove around and when I saw Tudor Road I knew we were close. He was totally amazed at my knowledge and when I explained the connection he said, "Who knew such useless information would come in handy."

Fast forward a week or so. He and Kristen were at the mall and as he was getting ready to check out of the bookstore he saw this great book and thought of me. So he bought it for me. With his very own money.



Here's an example of one of the stories inside:

The infamous battle of Waterloo wasn't fought in Waterloo. Napoleon's defeat occurred outside the village of Pancenoit, which was over four miles away.

Who cares? My inner geek does!! I love this kind of stuff!

KATIE

After months, if not a year, of being pestered by Ben and Taylor and some nudges from mom and dad, Katie finally tried out as a singer for the youth band at church. I didn't go to the tryouts, but Todd and Taylor did. According to Todd, "she was perfect." According to Taylor, "She totally rocked!" Todd's pretty biased so I figured "perfect" could be exaggerated. But Taylor's the brother and has no compunction about telling it like it is. So if he said she rocked then she rocked. Which I had no trouble believing anyway. And, of course, she made the band.

Other than the singing, she's turning into me. She has a book with her nearly everywhere she goes and is always reading. I love that about her. Especially because she was diagnosed with Phonological Awareness Syndrome, a type of dyslexia, when she was in the 3rd grade. She worked with the school's speech pathologist throughout 3rd, 4th and half of 5th grade. She could barely read on a 1st grade level when she was diagnosed. Now she's reading young adult novels that are 500 pages long. That makes me smile.

SOOKIE

A week or so ago I was reading something in preparation for the Mothers with Cancer website. The memory of one of my lowest moments as a parent with cancer assaulted me and I started to weep. Not out and out crying, just sniffling a bit and, well, you know. Sookie looked up from where she was and came over to me. She jumped up on the love seat, sniffed my face while she stared into my eyes, licked my cheek and then snuggled down next to me. What a balm to my heart!

We had her spayed on Tuesday and now she has to wear the cone until the 24th. She hates it, but we can't help but laugh at her. Just see for yourself:


That was some kind of party last night. Hey! Why is there a lampshade on my head?









Not only is she very loving and sensitive to my emotions, but she also likes to help me plant flowers:
















Yup. I'd say that's one blessing after another after another after another...

Labels: blessings, family, puppy, random, Verse of the Day

Mused by Jenster :: 10:50 PM :: 16 People musing:

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